I’ve misgendered a colleague twice now and I’m mortified

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not your responsibility to affirm their delusions. You did nothing wrong.

Ok, well keep believing that. If a trans employee reports being misgendered even once, we must do mediation and assign sensitivity training. If it happens a second time, a PIP is put in place. If it happens again, we terminate.

Misgendering creates a hostile workplace.

You may think it's a delusion, but we must respect them and their choices.

I think those who believe in God are delusional.
I think Santa is a delusion and the Easter bunny as well.

I still respect those who do. That's called being a decent human.

Seems like you have a big problem with child labor at your workplace if you have a lot of colleagues who believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny.

lol…I didn’t get that either. Santa is parents putting presents under a tree for their children. Does pp think that we are all delusional about this happening? Like they don’t believe that parents do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People forget that most adults have multiple decades of using him/her for everything, even animals. If you don’t interact with nonbinary/trans people on the regular it is a very difficult thing to switch to and of course people will mess up.

This…especially when the person looks like a woman and/or has a traditionally feminine name. It’s really hard to remember that Allison prefers they. It’s slightly easier to remember when the person adopts a less mainstream name (which I’ve found to be the case with coworkers who identify as Queer: they embrace a certain vibe when it comes to clothing, haircuts, and names they invent and go by).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People forget that most adults have multiple decades of using him/her for everything, even animals. If you don’t interact with nonbinary/trans people on the regular it is a very difficult thing to switch to and of course people will mess up.

I was raised to say ma’am and sir, so I have to catch myself with many interactions.

Or pretend I said “man”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People forget that most adults have multiple decades of using him/her for everything, even animals. If you don’t interact with nonbinary/trans people on the regular it is a very difficult thing to switch to and of course people will mess up.

Every nonbinary/trans person I know (and I know a lot) is extremely patient with genuine slips.

Also, you use the singular “they” more often than you probably think. “Someone left their water bottle on the table.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep accidentally using “him” with a coworker who uses “they.” And I work in HR! I try to speak more slowly around/about that person, to give my brain a chance to remember. Their beard makes my brain automatically think “him,” so I am retraining myself.

Because it seems a little odd to use a non-gendered pronoun when you present yourself as male.

Why? Do you present your genitals for inspection every time someone refers to you when you aren't even present?

Is that a thing? I’m totally onboard with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try working at a high school in the DMV. It is difficult to figure things out. I use they/them for everyone.

I can believe it! One of my kids had a pinned post in the group chat for members to update their gender identity in real time. I thought this was hilarious, but they took it very seriously. It settled out by 10th grade.

You thought it was "hilarious" that 8th/ 9th graders were fooling around with this? And you allowed them to take it seriously?

Wow.

Yep! I also called them Miss and Mister Lastname when they set up little classrooms for their stuffed animals. I called them Dr. Lastname when they set up a vet clinic for those same stuffed animals.

Kids are going to experiment. They're going to pretend, they're going to try on ways of being and see what feels good. And yeah, my daughter cut her hair short and tried on nonbinary pronouns for a while. I knew it wouldn't last; the kids who are genuinely trans are kind of rare, and they're the ones you'd expect. It's almost never a surprise. Getting bent out of shape about it is extremely short-sighted in terms of your long term relationship. It's also poor parenting to limit your children as they become their own people. You teach them how to work, how to navigate the world, how to be good members of society. You don't get to dictate who they are.

That’s why most people are against medical transitioning of children.

[Anonymous]

People LOVE to feel like victims.