How to talk to teenage DD about her father chasing women in their early 20s?

[Anonymous]

That guy is younger than OP's spouse. Hey OP howzit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean 59 chasing a 22 yo is gross, but not a predator.

And regarding the cheating, ALL my friends whose parents divorced because of cheating found out about it later. Some were furious and the fact that both parents covered up the cheating landed them in therapy. My best friend was so furious with her one parent for cheating, but equally furious with the other parent for making the cheater not responsible for breaking up her parents and household. This was while we were in college and her parents had divorced in middle school. I'm not sure what the answer is though and I also don't think you should tell her.

His comeuppance is coming.

[Anonymous]

You do know that it makes no logical sense to assert that all your friends whose parents’ divorce was caused by cheating know about it because, by definition, you can’t know if a friend’s parents’ divorce was caused by cheating if your friend never found out.

[Anonymous]

The dad should not be hitting on anyone associated with his daughter. By doing that he is putting his daughter in the middle. He is also putting extra pressure on the tutor by trying to mix his own sexual interest with the economic relationship they have. It’s gross all around. OP, maybe the way you said it wasn’t the best but we were impulse to get a different tutor was a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP of the following thread in the relationship forum:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1277224.page

The issue has become one more suitable for the Tweens and Teens forum.

My husband and I have lived separately for more than three years. He always cheated, sometimes with several women at the same time.
DD doesn't know about the cheating part, and I do not plan to every discuss it with her.

However, a recent event has rocked her childhood: her 59 y.o. dad is chasing a 22 y.o. woman whom he found on a tutoring website about four weeks ago. They have done two tutoring sessions, DD is excited. STBXH has invited the young woman to his home and made it sound safe by proposing cultural outings with DD.

I have handled things poorly with DD and I don't know how to make it better. I asked her if it would be OK for her if we choose another math tutor. She asked why, and I told her because daddy considers himself to be an appropriate romantic partner for the tutor and I don't want to put DD in the middle of that situation.

I feel like this is a turning point in DD's childhood. She has asked questions and labeled her dad a "predator." She is distancing herself from her dad. I should have
made something up or I should have asked the tutor to
announce that she quits.

I feel like I just destroyed her childhood, when my goal was to protect her. I feel terrible.

You are in the right for telling her as she has the right to know if her dad is pursuing her tutor. I think it's best to let her decide her relationship from her dad. If she would like to distance herself so be it.