What did you do to help your sons become good husbands and fathers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

It’s crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

Well said. And they’ll certainly have coworkers.

How does that not fall under just being being a good human?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

It’s crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

Well said. And they’ll certainly have coworkers.

How does that not fall under just being being a good human?

Easy. My brother could communicate (and do anything) better than anyone else on the internet. Yes, G. Soros paid him a freggin fortune for years.

He easily built computers in middle school. But at a social event, not so good, unless you could talk his language.

We can debate if a good human would want to be in the same room with a Soros.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

It’s crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

Well said. And they’ll certainly have coworkers.

How does that not fall under just being being a good human?

Easy. My brother could communicate (and do anything) better than anyone else on the internet. Yes, G. Soros paid him a freggin fortune for years.

He easily built computers in middle school. But at a social event, not so good, unless you could talk his language.

We can debate if a good human would want to be in the same room with a Soros.

I have zero idea what you're trying to say.

Again, I'm raising a good human and that's enough.

[Anonymous]

Being a good human is the foundation for good relationships but you still need role models to teach and demonstrate skills required to have healthy relationships. You think everyone seeking therapy to navigate relationships is a bad person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a good human is the foundation for good relationships but you still need role models to teach and demonstrate skills required to have healthy relationships. You think everyone seeking therapy to navigate relationships is a bad person?

Of course not. Please don't twist my words.

Perhaps then a better question would have been:

"How are you modeling good relationship and communication skills to your children?"

[Anonymous]

We need schools to have a mental well being period where they learn skills to have healthy relationships with self, parents, siblings, teachers, friends, partners, colleagues, neighbors etc.

With ongoing crisis where significant percentage of adults are estranged from parents, unable to find long term romantic relationships, stay in healthy marriages or parent their own kids, mental health education is a necessity, not a luxury.

[Anonymous]

I worry that they will be good fathers, but not good husbands. They have grown up with a SAHM and so their model is that mom takes care of everything and dad works. That is not likely going to be the scenario for them so if they have a working wife and try to act like their dad, they're screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need schools to have a mental well being period where they learn skills to have healthy relationships with self, parents, siblings, teachers, friends, partners, colleagues, neighbors etc.

With ongoing crisis where significant percentage of adults are estranged from parents, unable to find long term romantic relationships, stay in healthy marriages or parent their own kids, mental health education is a necessity, not a luxury.

Totally agree with this. I suppose the societal assumption is that these crucial character-building lessons are being taught either at home or elsewhere (maybe church?) but that is clearly not happening. Formalized education about relational health and general well-being (how to healthily communicate with others, tolerate distress, etc) would be great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH said from the beginning we needed to raise good men. He taught our boys to treat women with respect. He also showed our boys how to lead a family. Interestingly, he would tell me what he taught the boys what they should expect from a wife. He told them their wives should follow their lead and put the family above all. He also told them any girl who wanted to keep her name was a nonstarter if she also expected an engagement ring—his point was girls who wanted to eschew some traditions but not others were candidates for divorce.

They aren’t married yet but they will make excellent husbands. They are kind but tough. In fact, they’re the kind of guys for whom women will change their politics. I know I did for DH. That last part won’t be popular, but it happens a lot for the right guy.

Yikes on a bike. I feel so bad for their future spouses. I hope they get some therapy to unlearn the toxic sh!t your husband put on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH said from the beginning we needed to raise good men. He taught our boys to treat women with respect. He also showed our boys how to lead a family. Interestingly, he would tell me what he taught the boys what they should expect from a wife. He told them their wives should follow their lead and put the family above all. He also told them any girl who wanted to keep her name was a nonstarter if she also expected an engagement ring—his point was girls who wanted to eschew some traditions but not others were candidates for divorce.

They aren’t married yet but they will make excellent husbands. They are kind but tough. In fact, they’re the kind of guys for whom women will change their politics. I know I did for DH. That last part won’t be popular, but it happens a lot for the right guy.

THIS IS THE WACKIEST THING I HAVE READ ON HERE ALL DAY.

+1 No women in the US should change their name now thanks to Trump and Republican efforts to disenfranchise women who have changed their name. All of us are telling our daughters to keep their maiden names.

Keep maiden names and give babies their name. Especially unwed men who knock women up and refuse to take responsibility. Do not give babies the names of deadbeats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry that they will be good fathers, but not good husbands. They have grown up with a SAHM and so their model is that mom takes care of everything and dad works. That is not likely going to be the scenario for them so if they have a working wife and try to act like their dad, they're screwed.

This is why a pp on pg1 said that working as a mom is good modelling for boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry that they will be good fathers, but not good husbands. They have grown up with a SAHM and so their model is that mom takes care of everything and dad works. That is not likely going to be the scenario for them so if they have a working wife and try to act like their dad, they're screwed.

My mom was a SAHM, dad was spoiled by her but he was willing to pitch in whenever needed or asked, though he had long hours and commute so was only free on weekends.

Three of my brothers are amazing husbands with marriages and parenting of great equality. One even became SAHD for three years because wife was on training and couldn't pause that. His career was more flexible so he did and ran a great home and raised good kids.

Other 2 are very average husbands as they weren't hands on partners. They were great providers and did become better husbands with time. They had SAHM wives so it worked out otherwise could've been tougher. What's fun is that ones who are better husbands, aren't afraid of their wives. Ones who were average husbands, Lol they are totally afraid of their wives and who are decision makers even though they are SAHMs.

Bottom line is that even though they were raised in same household, they are their own people. What's common is they all are loyal husbands and loving fathers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worry that they will be good fathers, but not good husbands. They have grown up with a SAHM and so their model is that mom takes care of everything and dad works. That is not likely going to be the scenario for them so if they have a working wife and try to act like their dad, they're screwed.

This is why a pp on pg1 said that working as a mom is good modelling for boys.

No doubt that it helps but just seeing equal division of chores isn't of any value if marriage has more conflict due to that, more so if that leads to divorce. What's more valuable is to see love, respect, loyalty and friendship. Toxic marriages are toxic marriages and non toxic marriages are non toxic, with or without doing equal chores.

[Anonymous]

If they just see no physical, mental, financial, alcohol, drugs, infidelity, abuse at home, that's a great start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worry that they will be good fathers, but not good husbands. They have grown up with a SAHM and so their model is that mom takes care of everything and dad works. That is not likely going to be the scenario for them so if they have a working wife and try to act like their dad, they're screwed.

This is why a pp on pg1 said that working as a mom is good modelling for boys.

No doubt that it helps but just seeing equal division of chores isn't of any value if marriage has more conflict due to that, more so if that leads to divorce. What's more valuable is to see love, respect, loyalty and friendship. Toxic marriages are toxic marriages and non toxic marriages are non toxic, with or without doing equal chores.

If they see a man fighting with his wife over doing the dishes or laundry bc it’s woman’s work, that absolutely affects kids. If they see dad caring for the house and family they don’t think these things are just women’s work.