What did you do to help your sons become good husbands and fathers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've spent countless hours working on his severe ADHD and mild autism, but the results are still not acceptable. He's never going to be a good husband and father, unless he marries someone incredibly patient and understanding, and uses money to outsource a lot of stuff so as not to overburden his spouse.

He's kind, patient, good-natured... but it makes his forgetfulness and inattention all the more infuriating. He just realized this afternoon that his background check for a job needed to be filled out yesterday, and apparently he couldn't see that email in his inbox even though it's been sitting there for 4 days. Would he one day forget his kid in his carseat in the car? Because EVERYTHING is like this!

Sigh.

Have you tried being less cruel?

Everyone has flaws, even you, believe it or not. Compatible people lift each other up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make them do chores. Make sure they know how to do all the “female” chores too like cooking, cleaning, sewing, cooking for holidays. (We also do the same with our girls. They can change tires, change oil, fix things. I believe in well rounded people)

Why not just teach girls and boys how to earn and invest well so they don't have to cook, clean, sew or cater, just delegate these chores? Not that there is anything wrong doing chores but if you don't enjoy it, circumvent it. You can add value to family life in other ways. Creating a loving and caring home is as or more important contribution.

Yes, earn money so you can purchase replacements for living a humane life. Don't forget to hire a landscaper so you have time to pay a gym and a tanning salon for the opportunity to get exercise and sunlight!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids but I have two brothers who are good husband's and fathers.

My mom and dad always made them show respect to women. If they so much as touched a hair on my head or yelled at me they were reprimanded that it is not appropriate to be aggressive to women. My mom also made them do equal chores to me with cleaning and cooking. In addition it was very important to her that they showed gentlemanly manners. If the walked ahead of her at a restaurant and went inside she would yell, "Who's going to hold the door for me?" I thought or was funny when I was a kid but it stuck with them. They are very polite to women.

Oh my God, your poor abused father. I pray he had an affair with someone who respected him.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can parents teach their sons to become good husbands and fathers so they are happy in their lives and so are their spouses and children?

Thank you, OP. This is one of the most critical questions ever asked on DCUM. The environment (from A-Z) we provide for our children determines the future of our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chose a testosterone filled father.

Yep! The best men have been getting testosterone injections since they were teens. Follow the lead of the girls that make for the best men 🏳️‍🌈

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've spent countless hours working on his severe ADHD and mild autism, but the results are still not acceptable. He's never going to be a good husband and father, unless he marries someone incredibly patient and understanding, and uses money to outsource a lot of stuff so as not to overburden his spouse.

He's kind, patient, good-natured... but it makes his forgetfulness and inattention all the more infuriating. He just realized this afternoon that his background check for a job needed to be filled out yesterday, and apparently he couldn't see that email in his inbox even though it's been sitting there for 4 days. Would he one day forget his kid in his carseat in the car? Because EVERYTHING is like this!

Sigh.

Have you tried being less cruel?

Everyone has flaws, even you, believe it or not. Compatible people lift each other up.

Exactly. How awful to say that he is a kind, patient, good-natured person but will never be enough.....BY HIS MOTHER!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

No, it’s not creepy at all. Our girls will have equal (not necessarily the same) responsibilities as our boys.

No one gets a free pass on how our children grow up. When it goes bad, everyone pays a price.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

No, it’s not creepy at all. Our girls will have equal (not necessarily the same) responsibilities as our boys.

No one gets a free pass on how our children grow up. When it goes bad, everyone pays a price.

Nope, it is very creepy to be actively raising husbands and wives. Raise good people. Not breeding machines FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

Its crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

It’s crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

Well said. And they’ll certainly have coworkers.

[Anonymous]

If you are modeling and teaching to love, value and respect self, parents, siblings, grandparents then why not girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

No, it’s not creepy at all. Our girls will have equal (not necessarily the same) responsibilities as our boys.

No one gets a free pass on how our children grow up. When it goes bad, everyone pays a price.

Nope, it is very creepy to be actively raising husbands and wives. Raise good people. Not breeding machines FFS.

Even if they aren't marrying and breeding kind, they'll still need and have temporary or long term partners and their loved ones. Even good people need skills for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

Its crucial not creepy for young men and women to learn relationship skills to build healthy bonds with others, specially ones in their own family. Every good parent should try to model and teach these simple life values. I don't understand what's creepy about it? Even if your kids aren't going to marry or parent, more than likely they'll have partners and relationships.

Creepy is the premise that I need to raise a good husband and father. I'm raising a good human. He is kind, considers others, giving, etc. If he chooses a mate, great. If not, also great.

They need to figure out their own marriages and relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. He is already a good human and that's enough. If he wants to get married one day and have children, that's on him and his spouse to figure out.

I wonder what girl parents are doing to make sure their daughters are good wives and mothers? See how creepy that sounds?

No, it’s not creepy at all. Our girls will have equal (not necessarily the same) responsibilities as our boys.

No one gets a free pass on how our children grow up. When it goes bad, everyone pays a price.

Nope, it is very creepy to be actively raising husbands and wives. Raise good people. Not breeding machines FFS.

Even if they aren't marrying and breeding kind, they'll still need and have temporary or long term partners and their loved ones. Even good people need skills for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.

They'll figure out what they need or don't need. As I stated above, being a good human is enough for me.