Struggling junior & SAT wake-up call
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
In what school system does Geometry come *after* Algebra 2 ? OP, says he will take Geometry next year and Op says this is after Algebra 1 and Algebra 2 |
Anonymous
Some of the private schools do this. |
Anonymous
| Then this discussion of GPA if off the table. A discussion of GPA is impossible, impossible for any of us to know to give advice |
Anonymous
Ours does. ALG1. ALG2, Geometery, PreCalc, AP Calc, Multivar. |
Anonymous
Medication is not just about school. It's about keeping up with a social conversation, driving, not losing your wallet and keys, starting and finishing household projects, remembering basic self care when you live alone, holding a job. |
Anonymous
| Also kids with ADHD tend to self medicate. |
Anonymous
+1 If they have already seen depression and disengagement this could be headed in a very dark direction |
Anonymous
| If it were my DC, s/he would be in therapy whether or not they wanted to be. That sounds like clinical depression. I would leave the question of medication to an MD, but they would definitely be in some kind of therapy. |
Anonymous
| Why is your son’s depression not being treated? You have a window of a year before you lose all ability to compel this. Get to it. |
Anonymous
Of course they would but that’s not the point. The parents wisely don’t want to sink $$$ sending a kid with zero academic motivation to a 4 year university where he will undoubtedly fail his classes and largely founder. Nor should they, they could just set the money on fire and get the same result. |
Anonymous
| This sounds like my brother. He completely blew off high school, and somehow managed to get into a D1 school on a baseball scholarship. He hurt his shoulder, was off the team, and then dropped out within a semester. He languished for a few years (did landscaping jobs, worked at a bagel shop, etc.). My parents did not help him other than give him a roof over his head. He eventually went to CC, realized that his life was up to him, and transferred to a four year school. Now, 15 years later, he's a successful mechanical engineer. Growth is possible OP. Just don't baby your son too much. |
Anonymous
|
Please, please don't force your son to the 2 hours of studying and SAT prep course.
It's so not worth your money and his time. I believe that your son is much like my DS and will find a way to spend two hours not doing the studying, being miserable and not getting better scores on the test. We are working through things with my DS right now after his freshman year of college. FWIW, he took the SATs once, scored below 1000 and we knew that taking them again would be not be worth it. He applied and was accepted at 4 schools. He did well enough his first semester, but put all of his social life eggs into one basket in and it didn't work out and that put him into a tailspin 2nd semester which led to some very poor results, which if we were all honest with ourselves, we could have probably headed off. He just signed up to take (2) classes at the local CC over the summer to see if he can get back on track. If he does and we all feel good, he'll head back to school. If not, he'll stay at home and attend CC and continue to work at his part time job. Our son was a willing participant in getting tested for ADHD, getting diagnosed and taking meds. Good luck with your son. |
Anonymous
| It seems like you need to learn more about ADHD. This lack of motivation isn’t a personal flaw (though some people are less intrinsically motivated at baseline) it’s related to poor executive function and dopamine regulation. Kids and adults with ADHD don’t get a good feeling when they finished a non preferred task (studying, cleaning the bathroom) Instead they get no feeling whatever for completing that task. As for college he might be saying he wants to go because that’s what all his friends are doing and is expected so he simply goes with the flow. A Gap year, CC and getting a job might be a better choice. Good luck, he’s going to come around someday but on his own time frame. |
Anonymous
|
OP forget the test prep and figure out the following
1. Medication for ADHD 2. Medication for depression (Wellbutrin is a good one for depressed ADHers plus it doesn’t decrease sexual function like most SSRI) 3. Therapy 4. A family therapy session 5. A long talk about what he wants or envisions in his life. Short and long term goals 6. My guess is he is self medicating with weed so ask and do a urine test 7. Have more empathy about his mental well being vs grades and test scores. 8. You have one more year to get him on a better path, realistic goals and a good relationship with himself and your family. All of that is more important than his high school GPA and SAT score. |
Anonymous
I have dyslexia and dyscalculia and a host of other LDs. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Math was always a struggle. I took Algebra, Algebra 2, and Geometry in that order. I did not take math my senior year. I did not take a science as a freshman but took biology, chemistry, and physiology. I had 2 years of foreign language. None of my math or science classes were Honors level or higher. I did take honors/AP history and English. There are good reasons for kids to take math in a different order. Not all kids can follow the traditional path and excel at a high level. I attended a 4-year college, much to the surprise of most of my teachers, and went on to earn a PhD. Different people learn in a different way and on a different trajectory. OP: I don't have any advice for your son. I do know that you can find colleges that fit a wide variety of backgrounds but in the end, you have to want to attend school and learn. I suspect that your child wants to attend college because that is the expected path and that is what his friends are doing. The fact that his grades are dropping and he is in all gen ed classes seems to point to a lack of interest in school. You mention tutors and supports so it sounds like you support him. But maybe you have placed so much emphasis on college as the outcome that you have not allowed him to understand that you would support an option that does not involve college. An SAT of 1000 without prep does not scream to me of a kid that college is a great fit for. The lack of effort in his classes. It all screams of a kid trying to tell you through actions what he might be afraid to say in words. I would skip the SAT prep this summer and sit down and discuss what you are willing to support, a trade program or community college or finding a job and living at home for X number of years. If he mentions a 4-year college, ask him to tell you why he wants to go to college. Tell him he needs a specific course of action, what college does he want to attend? What is he interested in studying? What is his plan to succeed at college? If he can give you that, then let him know what you expect from him to pay for college. My parents told all of us we needed to maintain a C average each semester before they paid for another semesters tuition. We had to show them our report card before they wrote the check. |