Struggling junior & SAT wake-up call

[Anonymous]

We took a class once with a well-known developmental pediatrician. He said very clearly that if your kid has an ADHD diagnosis, and it is the type that teachers, neighbors, your friends, etc, all can tell your kid likely has ADHD, then it is child neglect not to at least try ADHD meds.

Child neglect.

OP, you need to dig in on current research around ADHD. Children who have it but aren’t treated develop fewer brain connections and miss tidbits of information for years and years, making them way behind their peers.

Please do not punish your son - you should have been on top of this 8 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has ADHD and needs medication. Maybe he’s just a typical screen add it whose attention span and motivation have been zapped by Instagram and video games. Either way, intense ST prep is akin to “the beatings will continue until morale improves”

Help him get a summer job with lots of hours. Figure out how to get him exercising every day. Keep him off screens and games. Tour realistic colleges this summer, including community college, and help him map his future. Don’t act disappointed when you look at Hood or Christopher Newport (or wherever). Those are all ways to show your love and support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he has ADHD and needs medication. Maybe he’s just a typical screen add it whose attention span and motivation have been zapped by Instagram and video games. Either way, intense ST prep is akin to “the beatings will continue until morale improves”

Help him get a summer job with lots of hours. Figure out how to get him exercising every day. Keep him off screens and games. Tour realistic colleges this summer, including community college, and help him map his future. Don’t act disappointed when you look at Hood or Christopher Newport (or wherever). Those are all ways to show your love and support.

OP said he was diagnosed ADHD. It’s not a maybe. She should take this to the disabilities forum unless she is in denial and just wants to streamline him and hope for the best. But test prep? Come on OP. You are ruining your kid. Making him feel inferior when you are the one failing him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

After the SAT, my husband and I had a hard but necessary conversation with him. We’ve decided to give him one more shot this summer. He’ll be enrolled in a structured, expensive SAT prep program, and our expectations are clear: he needs to put in real effort, at least 2 hours a day of studying, 5 days a week, and complete weekly practice tests after the course ends. If we see meaningful effort and improvement, we’ll continue supporting a 4-year college path. If not, we’ll be redirecting him toward community college.

This just sounds like a recipe for making someone who is miserable more miserable. Why are you forcing him into something you want, not him? You say you're "giving him one more shot," but at what? He doesn't want this.

Recently I had a plumbing emergency at my house and it took me all day on the phone, calling 10 different companies before finding someone available to come out to my house at 7pm. That guy made $600. That experience taught me that if I knew a teenager in this town I'd be telling him to become a plumber as they are clearly in shortage. There are many pathways in life that don't involve high SATs and a 4 year college.

This was my thought. Blood and stones. Horses and water. It's not going to happen the way you envision, so time to start changing your vision.

[Anonymous]

There is so much good advice already in this thread, but her’s another idea: People with strong social skills often excel at and enjoy sales jobs. Does he like cars? Would he be interested in working at an auto dealership this summer and seeing what that environment is like? I would try to find a summer job that has him interacting with a lot of people to keep his spirits up and show him what a 40 hour work week is like. After high school he could try some business courses at a community college or local state school if he thinks he might enjoy a sales job but wants a degree as a backup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

After the SAT, my husband and I had a hard but necessary conversation with him. We’ve decided to give him one more shot this summer. He’ll be enrolled in a structured, expensive SAT prep program, and our expectations are clear: he needs to put in real effort, at least 2 hours a day of studying, 5 days a week, and complete weekly practice tests after the course ends. If we see meaningful effort and improvement, we’ll continue supporting a 4-year college path. If not, we’ll be redirecting him toward community college.

This just sounds like a recipe for making someone who is miserable more miserable. Why are you forcing him into something you want, not him? You say you're "giving him one more shot," but at what? He doesn't want this.

Recently I had a plumbing emergency at my house and it took me all day on the phone, calling 10 different companies before finding someone available to come out to my house at 7pm. That guy made $600. That experience taught me that if I knew a teenager in this town I'd be telling him to become a plumber as they are clearly in shortage. There are many pathways in life that don't involve high SATs and a 4 year college.

This was my thought. Blood and stones. Horses and water. It's not going to happen the way you envision, so time to start changing your vision.

The business people and entrepreneurs i know who do trades are real go getters.

Doesn’t sound like OP's kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every kid cannot have a 4.5 GPA and 1500 SATs. It is okay.

I graduated HS with under a 3.0 and about 1100 SAT and ended up with a PhD in engineering. Granted things were different 20 years ago, you can get by with pure grit sometimes. I eventually got my sh*t together.

My son is like yours. 3.3 GPA, 1200 SAT. Doesn't care. Doesn't study. There are schools that will accept the average kid. At a certain point, you have to let them be responsible for their actions or inaction and this is one of those cases. His college choices will be limited but there are a lot of kids just like him who turn out okay.

Have a glass of wine and relax.

I don't think posters understand that a 1200 and 900 are not the same.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s turn late to right this, in the way that you are wanting. Preparing for a strong SAT score starts by doing well and learning/retaining most of the content from 6th grade on and working at a higher level continuously for years. No amount of him “studying” prior to the SAT would have moved the needle much.

But…that’s ok. It doesn’t sound like he is mentally or academically ready for university. He can go to community college for 1-2 and get his act together, take some remedial classes, and mature into being ready for true higher level learning. You need to come to terms with this as a parent. He has to live his own life, and what you want for him just is not in synch with his abilities or what he is wanting right now. Deep breath. It will be ok and he will get there.