Struggling junior & SAT wake-up call

[Anonymous]

My kid got something like a 1130 and just applied TO everywhere. I think his gpa when he applied to college was a 3.1. He got in everywhere with merit aid. Apply smartly and your kid will do fine.

[Anonymous]

2 hours a day is too much.
If you still have flexibility - get a 1 on 1 tutor who will give him homework between sessions.
There are content gaps if he is getting a 1000 (and you assume he can get higher)

But - if I was in your shoes, there is no need to do test prep. There are enough test optional schools.
Make your kid get a 40 hour a week job doing over the summer and get essay done for common app.

[Anonymous]

With so many colleges being TO, I wouldn't bother. If he really wants to go to a 4 yr, he needs to get his grades up.

Having stated that, what does he want? If he says he wants a 4 yr college, then let him know that with his grades, you don't trust that he will go to college and get good grades. Seems like he needs to mature a bit. He can prove himself in CC.

Agree with others, there is always trade school. Much easier for a guy to make a good living as a plumber (my niece with a grad degree is married to one) or an electrician than a girl.

[Anonymous]

If he’s not pushing to go to a 4 year college (and probably even if), don’t push that. He will just make it there with all your support and if not internally motivated, fail out.

If he lives at home and goes to CC, he could transfer later to a 4-year school. And, although not ideal, he would be home so you could monitor and support as needed. Obviously, that can’t go on forever, but better to continue to make some progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid got something like a 1130 and just applied TO everywhere. I think his gpa when he applied to college was a 3.1. He got in everywhere with merit aid. Apply smartly and your kid will do fine.

What colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid got something like a 1130 and just applied TO everywhere. I think his gpa when he applied to college was a 3.1. He got in everywhere with merit aid. Apply smartly and your kid will do fine.

An 1130 would be mean he needs to improve by 200 + points. If he managed that and demonstrated he put in effort to achieve that, we absolutely would support some of these colleges. Those are the schools we're already looking at. But we're probably setting him up for failure if he manages to get in and attend, he'll still lack the drive and work ethic to succeed.

[Anonymous]

The optional essay is -
got on ADHD meds
now strong 1st semester Sr year (with grade to back it up)

[Anonymous]

This has disaster written all over it. Does he actually WANT to go away to a 4 year college/university? It doesn’t sound like he’s prepared or motivated at all. Which is fine, but now you all have to be realistic. A kid who goes off to college after being pushed and monitored by his parents isn’t going to do well, and they’ll probably end up back at home after freshman year with a 1.8 GPA, burned out and upset.

I would look at your local community college for some programs where he can transition right away into work after finishing. Something like the HVAC repair program, auto body tech or collision repair, or horticulture/landscaping. If you think he might be able to handle a 4 year college maybe in his mid-20s+ when he has more maturity, he could try one of the CC health programs and then have the goal of eventually getting a BS in Nursing.

Also has he looked into the military?

[Anonymous]

Have you asked him - in a way he can be truthful as opposed to please you and/or get you off his back:

1. What does he want to do after 12th grade?

2. What effort is he willing to put in to get there?

3. What should happen if he doesn’t put it in effort?

It reads to me like you are driving the train and he doesn’t want to be on it. You know even if he gets into college, he is not positioned to manage himself once he gets there.

Have you ever read The Self Driven Child?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I wouldn’t do any SAT prep at all. Your post gave me a bit of anxiety just reading. I could feel the immense pressure by your words. Don’t have him retake it.

I have a junior. He’s not taking the SAT. We left it up to him and he didn’t want to. He’s never studied for a test, except his permit test, and at this point we are happy he’s going to graduate.

You mention a lot of what your kid doesn’t want to do but he must have some interests. My advice is to back way off and give him some space. When we did that ours did identify a trade he wanted to look into. We are supporting him in that, but still on his terms and giving him space. They still have a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got something like a 1130 and just applied TO everywhere. I think his gpa when he applied to college was a 3.1. He got in everywhere with merit aid. Apply smartly and your kid will do fine.

What colleges?

Drexel, UMBC, Seton Hall, Loyola MD, St Joe’s, Manhattan, Duquesne, LaSalle, St Mary’s, Scranton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has disaster written all over it. Does he actually WANT to go away to a 4 year college/university? It doesn’t sound like he’s prepared or motivated at all. Which is fine, but now you all have to be realistic. A kid who goes off to college after being pushed and monitored by his parents isn’t going to do well, and they’ll probably end up back at home after freshman year with a 1.8 GPA, burned out and upset.

I would look at your local community college for some programs where he can transition right away into work after finishing. Something like the HVAC repair program, auto body tech or collision repair, or horticulture/landscaping. If you think he might be able to handle a 4 year college maybe in his mid-20s+ when he has more maturity, he could try one of the CC health programs and then have the goal of eventually getting a BS in Nursing.

Also has he looked into the military?

I agree this has the signs of a reckoning coming.

I have people in my life who were smart enough for college but dropped out/flunked out.

Also for three years recently, I was supervised by a guy who worked construction and was a fast food manager before going back to a college you will have never heard of for engineering. It's thought of kind of like Towson by people where I am. So he made more money and supervised me, even though I am a National Merit Finalist/Phi Beta Kappa/top-ranked in undergrad/full scholarship to Top 20 MBA. And believe me, that's not the only example in my life right now where the "C students are managing the A students".

I think your kid doesn't like school (my youngest doesn't either). There's a lot not to like these days. It's not school as we knew it in parent times.

The pressure you are applying is likely having the opposite effect of what you want. Honestly, failing in high school just doesn't feel that bad. Also, re: SAT prep...as a high schooler, studying on my own, I was not able to raise my math SAT by 20 points on my own. I tried and wanted to do it but across 3 tries I couldn’t. I wanted to move 20 points on math to get a scholarship and didn't get there because I didn't really master the material. For grad school I was able to move my score a lot with self-study, so I believe it can be done, but it takes a lot of work and personal insight from the test taker.

I suggest you drop the rope and the SAT tutoring. Ask your kid if he'd like to do something like a gap year or two or go to community college first.

My kid is excited by robotics team and the prospect of co-op-ing. He considered a 3 year vo-technical high school to associates degree path but rejected it because it's "1 year more to graduate". His grades and SATs are good enough for a flagship but he's not excited to go and his school has grade inflation so I worry about him flunking out of engineering. He also talked about plumbing and other trades work and I bought him a book on plumbing for Christmas and he hasn't touched it.

I'm in a bit of a stalemate with my kid too.

The thing I keep thinking about is the Dilbert strip where the Boss says "Pressure makes diamonds." and Dilbert says "'Pressure makes garbage more compact". I think you need to figure out a way to make diamonds. I don't think summer SAT prep is going to work to turn the motivation around. I wouldn't overspend on it.

[Anonymous]

Let's learn more about the 3.1 gpa? What math will he end with? How many years of foreign language? Is the 3.1 weighted or unweighted? It's not that hard to graduate high school and go to a 4 year college, somewhere. And graduate. I agree test optional may be needed.

[Anonymous]

I’m one of the PP with the junior and some of the trade programs have open houses. When my son mentioned an interest, I did the research and found an open house and we went. It was the first time I saw him excited about post secondary options because the program was hands on and didn’t feel like school. In his words, he said he felt like he could relate to the people who were there more than the ones at his HS. My son has close to a 4.0 UW and could apply to traditional colleges but hates the thought of sitting in a traditional class a second longer than he has to. He hasn’t and won’t take the SATs.

I would research some open houses and see if your son is willing to go with you, just to see if they spark an interest.

[Anonymous]

His recent SAT score was under 1000, but the real issue is that he didn’t prepare at all. He went into it cold, even though we had discussed a plan and offered support to help him study. Spring grades are also slipping, and his 3.1 GPA is at risk.

After the SAT, my husband and I had a hard but necessary conversation with him. We’ve decided to give him one more shot this summer. He’ll be enrolled in a structured, expensive SAT prep program, and our expectations are clear: he needs to put in real effort, at least 2 hours a day of studying, 5 days a week, and complete weekly practice tests after the course ends. If we see meaningful effort and improvement, we’ll continue supporting a 4-year college path. If not, we’ll be redirecting him toward community college.

Does he have ADHD? If so, unfortunately, I don't think your original plan that he would structure studying for the SAT himself was realistic. It didn't have to be a class, but you probably had to establish specific times he needed to prepare, and specific things he needed to get covered in that time, and enforce it.

As for a 4 year college, my son attends Mason and lives with us. He is enrolled in their executive functioning program. His grades are fine (mostly Bs, a few As, and he had one C). If he can show improvement in managing his work and increasing his maturity, we will then be willing to pay for him to live on campus. But he definitely will and can get a 4 year degree.