What’s the point of redshirting when it cancels out the pride factor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think redshirting is an easy way to give your kid an advantage. But there is no long term advantage and usually only lasts through younger years when they might be less squirmy in class. As they get older some of the redshirted kids are teased as dumb and held back.

Sure, the kid failing algebra will tease as dumb the kid taking AP Calculus who is towering one head over him.

First, that’s not “teasing”, it’s just embarrassing oneself. Second there’s a high chance the “teaser” will be punched and shoved the next second. Third, this is straight up bullying that likely will get your kid expelled or worse.

Kids aren't expelled for teasing. My freshman is in a class with mostly juniors and seniors. There was lots of bullying. The teacher and school didn't care. And, if your kid is on the slow track and you held them back, they aren't doing better. If your kid is appropiate for the grade, or even younger and on a fast track, yup, they are smarter.

You’re not smarter only if you’re on track or younger, you’re smart if you have the understanding, age is only a correction for intelligence.

A hypothetical example. A child starts first grade at 6, but is not well developed to process the learning, and falls behind, usually muddling in the bottom third. Concepts are linked and in second grade he needs to fill gaps from the previous year and can’t catch up. He doesn’t have the discipline to sit and focus and falls behind on organizational skills etc. he develops an attitude of not being smart, school is not for him, a self fulfilling prophecy.

The same kid is held back a year. He’s ready for learning, everything is falling in place, he is organized, better social skills with kids and adults, more patient, he understands the material better etc. Early years he’s the top of the class, get confidence has a can do attitude etc. even if other kids catch up eventually he had a good start and less chance to falter.

Parents that redshirt want to avoid the first scenario and do the second one. If your kid would have benefitted from being held back, you should have made an effort to accommodate that. It doesn’t mean the kid is dumb, it’s just he’s not developing at the exact same time as the average. That’s not cheating, that’s being a good parent.

[Anonymous]

Here’s an interesting article that includes a Harvard study. There are advantages to being older when the kids are you but then the advantages wear off and younger kids do better. This is what I’ve noticed in our schools system. Kids are in college now.

http://newamerica.org/early-elementary-education/early-ed-watch/research-suggests-redshirting-may-be-harmful/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s an interesting article that includes a Harvard study. There are advantages to being older when the kids are you but then the advantages wear off and younger kids do better. This is what I’ve noticed in our schools system. Kids are in college now.

http://newamerica.org/early-elementary-education/early-ed-watch/research-suggests-redshirting-may-be-harmful/

Honey, this is DCUM. People here have read and analyzed the source studies. We don’t need a badly written article from 2013 that doesn’t understand the source material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s an interesting article that includes a Harvard study. There are advantages to being older when the kids are you but then the advantages wear off and younger kids do better. This is what I’ve noticed in our schools system. Kids are in college now.

http://newamerica.org/early-elementary-education/early-ed-watch/research-suggests-redshirting-may-be-harmful/

Honey, this is DCUM. People here have read and analyzed the source studies. We don’t need a badly written article from 2013 that doesn’t understand the source material.

Honey, you asked for a study and got one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, We get that you’re upset that you started your summer birthday kid in private school on time, and that you disregarded the school’s norms for an earlier “unofficial cutoff.” And now your kid is 3 months younger than the rest of the class and you’re in your feels about it. You can switch to public school at any time when there are many summer birthday kids sent on time, especially girls. Other than that, I’d suggest you take your own advice and endlessly gas up your kid about how much she’s had to overcome and isn’t struggle the whole point of living anyway.

Another post showing us that private school mommies are insufferable.

So you agree, you’re big time mad/upset/dwelling on it that you didn’t bother to follow the local norms of your particular school because your DD is such an advanced and special snowflake, and now anyone pointing that out is “insufferable.” Like I said, you’re free to move to public school where there are plenty of redshirted and non redshirted kids of all birth dates!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid had adhd and dyslexia. You’re da*n right we red-shirted. They had absolutely no advantage being older in the grade. Struggle, struggle, struggle. But thanks for the derision!

I don't think OP was thinking about your kid when they posted.

DCUMs anti-redshirters are anti-social and hyper-competitive. There is absolutely no question in my mind that OP is thinking about kids like PPs. I’ve watched the casual cruelty of DCUM anti-redshirters too many times over the years. They delight in bullying children.

Also, I didn’t redshirt, although that should not matter.

Literally nobody cares about some special needs child being held back a year.

Nobody.

My kid had no diagnosis when we made the decision to hold him back. He was diagnosed with autism several years later. So was the decision not ok at first and then it became acceptable? Is it only acceptable if I prove his diagnosis?

If you don’t see it before age 3 then it’s not autism. Get another opinion.

What used to be called Asperger’s is now diagnosed as Autism. These are high functioning kids who have lackluster social skills, but it’s not obvious until they’re older because they’re not really far behind socially when they’re little. The gap between their social skills and their peer’s gets wider as they get older. Girls, especially, get later diagnoses because they tend to have stronger social skills than boys when they’re very young.

[Anonymous]

My birthday was 7 days before the cutoff to start kindergarten. I was very shy, not at all aggressive, and often drowsy from cold medicine in preschool because I got sick all the time. My preschool recommended that my parents hold me back. My mom was worried about how I’d do in school, so she wanted to follow the recommendation. My dad thought I’d be just fine academically, but he acquiesced to my mom, so I was held back. My mom always says there was a noticeable difference in me a year later. I was more confident and much more curious about learning to read.

My childhood bff was born a month after the cutoff. Her parents knew she was bright, mature for her age, and good at following directions, so they decided to enroll her in kindergarten a year early. She and I had a 13 month age difference and would have been 2 grades apart, had our parents followed the school district’s guidelines. We have both always been grateful that we ended up exactly where we needed to be to be bffs. We both excelled academically. We both showed little promise in sports. Neither set of parents regretted their decision.

I probably did better in school than I would have because of being held back and really being ready when I started school, but I don’t think being held back is the only explanation for why I was high school valedictorian and a National Merit Scholar. I worked really hard.

My own children (twins) were born almost 4 months after the cutoff date, so they started school on time. I never even considered redshirting them. One of them has HFA and ADHD, but she’s incredibly intellectually curious. My kids will graduate next year and I have no regrets.

People just need to make the best decision for their child. Who cares what others think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s an interesting article that includes a Harvard study. There are advantages to being older when the kids are you but then the advantages wear off and younger kids do better. This is what I’ve noticed in our schools system. Kids are in college now.

http://newamerica.org/early-elementary-education/early-ed-watch/research-suggests-redshirting-may-be-harmful/

Kids who are educated at home and challenged at school do better when redshirted.

Kids who coast through school and home don't do better when redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My birthday was 7 days before the cutoff to start kindergarten. I was very shy, not at all aggressive, and often drowsy from cold medicine in preschool because I got sick all the time. My preschool recommended that my parents hold me back. My mom was worried about how I’d do in school, so she wanted to follow the recommendation. My dad thought I’d be just fine academically, but he acquiesced to my mom, so I was held back. My mom always says there was a noticeable difference in me a year later. I was more confident and much more curious about learning to read.

My childhood bff was born a month after the cutoff. Her parents knew she was bright, mature for her age, and good at following directions, so they decided to enroll her in kindergarten a year early. She and I had a 13 month age difference and would have been 2 grades apart, had our parents followed the school district’s guidelines. We have both always been grateful that we ended up exactly where we needed to be to be bffs. We both excelled academically. We both showed little promise in sports. Neither set of parents regretted their decision.

I probably did better in school than I would have because of being held back and really being ready when I started school, but I don’t think being held back is the only explanation for why I was high school valedictorian and a National Merit Scholar. I worked really hard.

My own children (twins) were born almost 4 months after the cutoff date, so they started school on time. I never even considered redshirting them. One of them has HFA and ADHD, but she’s incredibly intellectually curious. My kids will graduate next year and I have no regrets.

People just need to make the best decision for their child. Who cares what others think?

This is sensible advice, but there is a returning poster that bash redshirting, every few months or so.

It’s a hyper competitive parent that didn’t push for or couldn’t get the district to approve the redshirting and the kid is doing worse than other kids in the class that were held back. Every once in a while she goes on a rant about how redshirting is cheating, it’s dishonest, badmouthing redshirted kids as dumb etc.

Likely her kid has other issues that might have been mitigated but not solved by redshirting. Or she wasn’t aware of the issues and didn’t challenge the decision of the district and she feels she unfairly followed rules that others bypassed.

She’d be better off focusing on her child, but she relives the discontent of her choices through unhinged posts on DCUM. Can’t be good for her or the child, yet she does it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that kids who are older generally do better in school and end up with better jobs. But the whole point of getting good grades and having a good job is to have something to be proud of, and outperforming kids a year younger than you is nothing to be proud of.

The point is rubbing the success of my child in the face of other parents that were too dumb to redshirt their kids when countless studies show it’s a MAJOR ADVANTAGE for grades and career. I relish their envious looks and snide comments, it just proves I did the RIGHT THING and they were just sheep following stupid rules. Nothing they have compares to the success of my child, while theirs is embarrassingly stupid and can barely keep up with school work, this year and the next year, all the way to COMMUNITY COLLEGE, while mine will be targeting IVY”s.

OUTPERFORMING kids a year younger is so much better than being a LOSER amongst kids your own age. Nobody will interview a Harvard graduate and ask how old they were when they went to freaking KINDERGARTEN!

OP, if you’re one of those parents sorry, NOT sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did redshirt, so that my son has every single advantage he can get. It may not be fair, but you know what else is fair? Life. One year of physical and brain development makes a difference. While his classmates barely do single digit addition his teacher gives him three digit addition worksheets. Since he’s a head above the other kids nobody dares to bully him and he’s bossing the other kids around.

Some sour grape moms with tiny underdeveloped kids make some snide remarks at sports events, but who cares. My son is a star and they are just envious.

The head start is super important. If this is something that matters to you, redshirt your kid. If you didn’t and missed the train, too bad. Stop whining and move on. Do better next time, lol.

All the other parents hate you and all the other kids make fun of your kid. Just so you know. The biggest kid in my child's class is a year older than her and guess what, sweetheart, my child can outperform your kid in school ANY. DAY. She's so much smarter than your privileged little twat brat.

The jokes on you and your child! Imagine how much BETTER she would have been if she were held back one year. She could have made it into Harvard, now the best she can do is maybe Iowa State! LOL, GO CARDINALS, LOL!

[Anonymous]

Good trolling, hopefully that’s going to end the unhinged redshirting threads.

[Anonymous]

I truly don't care if people redshirt, especially if you are dealing with special needs.

However, I am done with parents who redshirted and then complain about how slow the pace of the class is or how elementary the material is for their child or how immature the rest of the kids are. Of course it's too basic for your NT kid that you held back for a sports advantage, they should be in the next higher grade!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, the more recent research shows the opposite- that kids who are not redshirted do better academically after controlling for all the variables including SES and parental education levels.

Because they didn’t need to be redshirted. Duh.

We redshirted one dc due to special needs. He’s never going to be valedictorian. Calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that kids who are older generally do better in school and end up with better jobs. But the whole point of getting good grades and having a good job is to have something to be proud of, and outperforming kids a year younger than you is nothing to be proud of.

The point is rubbing the success of my child in the face of other parents that were too dumb to redshirt their kids when countless studies show it’s a MAJOR ADVANTAGE for grades and career. I relish their envious looks and snide comments, it just proves I did the RIGHT THING and they were just sheep following stupid rules. Nothing they have compares to the success of my child, while theirs is embarrassingly stupid and can barely keep up with school work, this year and the next year, all the way to COMMUNITY COLLEGE, while mine will be targeting IVY”s.

OUTPERFORMING kids a year younger is so much better than being a LOSER amongst kids your own age. Nobody will interview a Harvard graduate and ask how old they were when they went to freaking KINDERGARTEN!

OP, if you’re one of those parents sorry, NOT sorry!

I don't actually care about redshirting, especially because usually it's done because child has a developmental delay of some kind and of course I would never begrudge doing what is right to help a child with special needs, but my kid is the youngest in the grade and is at the top of her class. You are vastly overstating the benefits of redshirting, which are marginal at best, and far less important than things like parents' level of education, SES level, and willingness to invest those resources in your kid. Also just a kid's natural intelligence level and predisposition to learning. Redshirting is not going to get your kid into Harvard if he wouldn't have gotten in without it. You know that, right?