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What’s the point of redshirting when it cancels out the pride factor?
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Anonymous
Same here, but autism. Red shirting meant that he was out of diapers by the time he started school, he learned to read in 2nd grade instead of 3rd grade, and following directions was moderately easier than it would have been a year earlier. He's graduating from high school this year and still doesn't have the executive function to go to college, although it's getting better each year. It would have been worse if he had graduated last year. |
Anonymous
The whole point of getting good grades and having a good job is to have a good and fulfilling life. It’s not a game of who overcomes most hardships wins. Presumably you cook your child nutritious meals, buy books to read to them, take them to museums, put them in sports, hire a tutor if needed etc. A parent can also decide to redshirt a child because they think it’s helpful, regardless if it’s true or not. Should parents be ashamed if their kid who was well supported does great? Not at all, on the contrary, it means they did something well and rightfully they should be proud of the child and of themselves. If another child is struggling and might have benefited from redshirting but parents couldn’t afford or weren’t aware of child’s developmental issues etc., the kid has my sympathy, but that doesn’t take anything away from my own child. Still as proud of him as I can be. There’s no competition in my view, each kid has his own path in like. |
Anonymous
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I am only bothered by redshirting because I live in a place with strict rules against it. Which you think would just mean no redshirting. Instead what it means is that some parents fight tooth and nail to redshirt their kids and the school district, despite strict rules, lets them just to get them to shut up. But if you're not very well resourced and the sort of person who just does not believe rules apply to you, redshirting is not available to you.
I would vastly prefer a system like some school districts have where there is a grace period within which parents can choose whether to send their kid to K, usually for summer and early fall birthdays. And then people just decided what made the most sense for their kid. Instead the system feels unfair because only the kids who already have a ton of resources, and who have the parents most willing and able to complain loudly when unhappy, have access to redshirting. That feeling of there being two systems sparks a lot of resentment. |
Anonymous
Where’s the honor in sending your child to school when they weren’t developmentally ready and watch them struggle to keep up with the other kids. I’d rather take that decision with their pediatrician, educator and parent rather than base it on some vain and stupid pride coming from a fair challenge, whatever tf you think that is. If you think that’s gaming the system, sorry idgaf. Somehow I doubt your child will appreciate the fair challenge of being below grade level in reading and math and being bullied in school. Amazing that these nut job parents exist. |
Anonymous
Is this in NY state? That’s another case of equity policies trampling over parents choices and in the end making things less equitable. Resourced parents getting noisy and getting their way is old news, it’s always been like that. TBH there’s no reason to assume some school district paper pusher knows better what’s right for the child than their parent. It’s a pity, but the only option is to get informed and fight for what’s best for your child. |
Anonymous
Of course they are developmentally ready. Stop dumbing your kids down. |
Anonymous
What tf do you know about a child you’ve never seen in your life? The science is a little murky, redshirting gives an initial academic advantage, that doesn’t seem to last past elementary school. On the other hand redshirted boys report much greater levels well being throughout school and life. To some that means “developmentally ready”. It’s also undeniable that boys are doing worse than girls academically, today there’s a 2:1 girls:boys ratio in college, maturity level is often quoted as one of the root causes. If the parents think it’s not the right time then it isn’t. If in their mind it gives the child more maturity as an advantage in dealing with academics and executive function they can decide to hold the child back. You’re free roll the dice with your child, go for it. But from how often these threads pop up you seem to regret your choices as a parent. That’s in stark contrast with parents of redshirted kids who almost unanimously are happy with the decision and would do it again. |
Anonymous
| OP, We get that you’re upset that you started your summer birthday kid in private school on time, and that you disregarded the school’s norms for an earlier “unofficial cutoff.” And now your kid is 3 months younger than the rest of the class and you’re in your feels about it. You can switch to public school at any time when there are many summer birthday kids sent on time, especially girls. Other than that, I’d suggest you take your own advice and endlessly gas up your kid about how much she’s had to overcome and isn’t struggle the whole point of living anyway. |
Anonymous
All the other parents hate you and all the other kids make fun of your kid. Just so you know. The biggest kid in my child's class is a year older than her and guess what, sweetheart, my child can outperform your kid in school ANY. DAY. She's so much smarter than your privileged little twat brat. |
Anonymous
If you child can outperform a child a year younger, wouldn’t that mean that the parents made a good decision to redshirt their child who clearly needed a little more time to get comfortable in school and perform on grade level? Maybe don’t make fun of those kids. |
Anonymous
Cute made up story! The kid is already working 1-2 grades ahead in math, but if your precious is doing 4 grades ahead, kudos to your little imaginary genius. My kid is also very popular, who would have thought that girls like tall, confident boys, lol. Nobody is making fun of him, at least not to his face, those boys 4 inches shorter wouldn’t even dare lol. I think the rest of the class will catch up with him towards middle school, but these first years have been great in building his confidence and just making growing up easier. I’m happy I was able to give him that, I’d do it all over again. Obviously you didn’t care about these things and wanted your kid to be challenged to build character. Or just ignored your child’s needs and foolishly followed arbitrary rules from the district. Well, I hope in the end it works out for you and your kid, the real one, not the one outperforming my kid “ANY DAY”. I had a good laugh out of it. |
Anonymous
| If it’s ok for kids to accelerate and skip grades it’s also ok for kids to be redshirted. One size fits all doesn’t work for everyone. |
Anonymous
| I agree OP. We have a high schooler whom we did not redshirt. Kids need to be challenged and inspired to work for their achievements. We saw many of the older redshirted kids begin to struggle socially and motivationally as they got older. We’re glad we didn’t redshirt. There was no reason to hold our kid back and we’re proud of the social development and academic achievements. |
Anonymous
| People think redshirting is an easy way to give your kid an advantage. But there is no long term advantage and usually only lasts through younger years when they might be less squirmy in class. As they get older some of the redshirted kids are teased as dumb and held back. |
Anonymous
OP did not say that though. She actually said that redshirted kids statistically do better with grades and jobs later in life, not that they struggle socially and motivationally. |