DS Dating Someone with a Small Child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


He does but he will ruin his life if he pursues a more serious relationship with her. A 29 yo who doesn't know what to do with her life. Who relies on others to support her child. Who can't even support herself. That's not a life, that's freeloading.


The more you come back to post, the worse you sound. Just FYI.

Disagree. I do not think OP is awful at all. I would feel the exact same way. But he is an adult, and there is nothing OP can really do directly. In addition to the suggestions I made above about getting another family female (preferably his generation) to talk to him, another way is to ask questions about who really looks after the child now. Is it the GF or has she ceded all those parental responsibilities to her parents since she is living at home? A 29 yo without education, job and living at home with parents is indeed a freeloader.

Let me guess, you’re pro-life

If my adult DD had a child with an unsupportive or abusive partner we would welcome her home and support her and our grandchild in whatever way we could. Maybe this family values mom spending a lot of time with baby and young child and are working to make that happen. OP is so negative and judgmental and doesn’t really seem to know the GF at all. But it always comes back to this- he’s an adult and OP needs to keep her mouth shut. If she wants a good relationship with her son she should be kind to all girlfriends, like ‘em or not.

[Anonymous]

So why don't you ask your son what he sees in her? I think it's reasonable you bring out what's wrong with the whole situation. Sure, he can get mad at you, but at least you've spoken. I would emphasize that the GF has a bad relationship with kid's dad, meaning there are issues that your son should not be wanting to be a part of. Also, if he intends to get a bigger place to include her and her son, ask if this is something he's willing to pay for in the long run? Also, that he's literally wasting his best years and will miss out on a girl with no kids/good education/who would actually be a wife material. Nice girls will not want to date a guy who has lived with a crazy older woman with a kid. We, humans, judge others based on what kind of friends/GFs one keeps and this is no different. Sure, he might like hot sex, but at what cost?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

That's how we feel too! A clean cut kid, with goals, good job, his own place, no debt, looks good. He is nice to her and kid. Who wouldn't want that?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this woman. She has a child? She has what appear to be supportive parents who let her live with them after getting out of what seems to have been a bad relationship? Is she tainted now or something, scarlet letter style?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

That's how we feel too! A clean cut kid, with goals, good job, his own place, no debt, looks good. He is nice to her and kid. Who wouldn't want that?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this woman. She has a child? She has what appear to be supportive parents who let her live with them after getting out of what seems to have been a bad relationship? Is she tainted now or something, scarlet letter style?

Um, no. She's someone who cannot support herself and her child, hence had to move back in with her parents. She's looking for a meal ticket. We're not talking about an 18 yo who had a kid oops! and needs help, because she hasn't managed to obtain education yet or a job. We're talking about a 29 yo with no education and no job, who for some reason or another has done nothing with her life. There are plenty of women who work managerial positions at her age or younger, earning their own keep, after having graduated college or having a master's degree by then. What did you do at 29?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

That's how we feel too! A clean cut kid, with goals, good job, his own place, no debt, looks good. He is nice to her and kid. Who wouldn't want that?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this woman. She has a child? She has what appear to be supportive parents who let her live with them after getting out of what seems to have been a bad relationship? Is she tainted now or something, scarlet letter style?

Um, no. She's someone who cannot support herself and her child, hence had to move back in with her parents. She's looking for a meal ticket. We're not talking about an 18 yo who had a kid oops! and needs help, because she hasn't managed to obtain education yet or a job. We're talking about a 29 yo with no education and no job, who for some reason or another has done nothing with her life. There are plenty of women who work managerial positions at her age or younger, earning their own keep, after having graduated college or having a master's degree by then. What did you do at 29?

She has no job according to OP whose account I find very sus. Did her son tell her she doesn't have a job? did she grill the girl when she came over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

That's how we feel too! A clean cut kid, with goals, good job, his own place, no debt, looks good. He is nice to her and kid. Who wouldn't want that?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this woman. She has a child? She has what appear to be supportive parents who let her live with them after getting out of what seems to have been a bad relationship? Is she tainted now or something, scarlet letter style?

Um, no. She's someone who cannot support herself and her child, hence had to move back in with her parents. She's looking for a meal ticket. We're not talking about an 18 yo who had a kid oops! and needs help, because she hasn't managed to obtain education yet or a job. We're talking about a 29 yo with no education and no job, who for some reason or another has done nothing with her life. There are plenty of women who work managerial positions at her age or younger, earning their own keep, after having graduated college or having a master's degree by then. What did you do at 29?

She has no job according to OP whose account I find very sus. Did her son tell her she doesn't have a job? did she grill the girl when she came over?

She works a few hours a week at some dealership, no benefits, no stable income. She relies on her parents a lot for money. I know for a fact she asked DS for money too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

That's how we feel too! A clean cut kid, with goals, good job, his own place, no debt, looks good. He is nice to her and kid. Who wouldn't want that?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this woman. She has a child? She has what appear to be supportive parents who let her live with them after getting out of what seems to have been a bad relationship? Is she tainted now or something, scarlet letter style?

Um, no. She's someone who cannot support herself and her child, hence had to move back in with her parents. She's looking for a meal ticket. We're not talking about an 18 yo who had a kid oops! and needs help, because she hasn't managed to obtain education yet or a job. We're talking about a 29 yo with no education and no job, who for some reason or another has done nothing with her life. There are plenty of women who work managerial positions at her age or younger, earning their own keep, after having graduated college or having a master's degree by then. What did you do at 29?

She has no job according to OP whose account I find very sus. Did her son tell her she doesn't have a job? did she grill the girl when she came over?

She works a few hours a week at some dealership, no benefits, no stable income. She relies on her parents a lot for money. I know for a fact she asked DS for money too.

how do you know all of this?

[Anonymous]

Who would be interested in getting involved in this drama. Ugh.

I’m in my early 30s and married now, but when I was on dating apps in my 20s I regularly came across men who tried to hide this type of crap. Anyone with kids was a hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Send him to a resort or something where he can get a lot of cute girls
not in the us preferably
that might clear his head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult.

He is 23 and hormone crazy. He would pay a surcharge to rent a car because insurance companies don't trust the judgment of a 23 year old.

Good luck, OP. I hope you had a good conversation about birth control with him.

he is an adult and gets to make his own choices. If she continues to meddle, she will likely have even less "say" in the future.

[Anonymous]

I literally have talked to my kids about practicing near-brutal honesty. They are 19 and 21, so we will see how it goes.

I told them they need to be brutally honest when I am starting to lose my shit and take away the car keys and put me in a home.

I literally told them...don't wait until I am gone...tell me when I am still reasonably of sound mind and can take action on my own accord.

The flip side is I told them I will be honest with them when it comes to their adult decisions and dating.

We have already had the talk...you meet a girl with a kid, unless her last name is Gates or Rockefeller (make sure it's the billionaires)...you wish her well and move on to the next girl.

Same for ADD or ADHD or all this other nonsense. Know how to spot the signs and don't waste any more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally have talked to my kids about practicing near-brutal honesty. They are 19 and 21, so we will see how it goes.

I told them they need to be brutally honest when I am starting to lose my shit and take away the car keys and put me in a home.

I literally told them...don't wait until I am gone...tell me when I am still reasonably of sound mind and can take action on my own accord.

The flip side is I told them I will be honest with them when it comes to their adult decisions and dating.

We have already had the talk...you meet a girl with a kid, unless her last name is Gates or Rockefeller (make sure it's the billionaires)...you wish her well and move on to the next girl.

Same for ADD or ADHD or all this other nonsense. Know how to spot the signs and don't waste any more time.

Oh look!!!! Another vile person just OP. I hope your grandchildren have ADD/ADHD or some other "nonsense" you POS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally have talked to my kids about practicing near-brutal honesty. They are 19 and 21, so we will see how it goes.

I told them they need to be brutally honest when I am starting to lose my shit and take away the car keys and put me in a home.

I literally told them...don't wait until I am gone...tell me when I am still reasonably of sound mind and can take action on my own accord.

The flip side is I told them I will be honest with them when it comes to their adult decisions and dating.

We have already had the talk...you meet a girl with a kid, unless her last name is Gates or Rockefeller (make sure it's the billionaires)...you wish her well and move on to the next girl.

Same for ADD or ADHD or all this other nonsense. Know how to spot the signs and don't waste any more time.

How do you spot an extreme a$$hole such as yourself? I'd really like to never interact with anyone remotely like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally have talked to my kids about practicing near-brutal honesty. They are 19 and 21, so we will see how it goes.

I told them they need to be brutally honest when I am starting to lose my shit and take away the car keys and put me in a home.

I literally told them...don't wait until I am gone...tell me when I am still reasonably of sound mind and can take action on my own accord.

The flip side is I told them I will be honest with them when it comes to their adult decisions and dating.

We have already had the talk...you meet a girl with a kid, unless her last name is Gates or Rockefeller (make sure it's the billionaires)...you wish her well and move on to the next girl.

Same for ADD or ADHD or all this other nonsense. Know how to spot the signs and don't waste any more time.

Oh look!!!! Another vile person just OP. I hope your grandchildren have ADD/ADHD or some other "nonsense" you POS.

Go look at the relationship board and get back to me.

50% of the threads are people who married someone with ADD/ADHD and now their marriage and lives are a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally have talked to my kids about practicing near-brutal honesty. They are 19 and 21, so we will see how it goes.

I told them they need to be brutally honest when I am starting to lose my shit and take away the car keys and put me in a home.

I literally told them...don't wait until I am gone...tell me when I am still reasonably of sound mind and can take action on my own accord.

The flip side is I told them I will be honest with them when it comes to their adult decisions and dating.

We have already had the talk...you meet a girl with a kid, unless her last name is Gates or Rockefeller (make sure it's the billionaires)...you wish her well and move on to the next girl.

Same for ADD or ADHD or all this other nonsense. Know how to spot the signs and don't waste any more time.

Oh look!!!! Another vile person just OP. I hope your grandchildren have ADD/ADHD or some other "nonsense" you POS.

Go look at the relationship board and get back to me.

50% of the threads are people who married someone with ADD/ADHD and now their marriage and lives are a disaster.

Like I said, POS!!!!! Go F yourself.