DS Dating Someone with a Small Child

[Anonymous]

and I am not OK with that. He is 23. She is 29. With a kid. She is very pretty but a hot mess, "still figuring things out". He is a catch, a young, successful adult, with a good job, no debt, he lives by himself but recently started saying how he wants to move in with her.

Just here to vent. So not what I hoped for him.

[Anonymous]

Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

No education. No stable job. She lives with her parents. Problems with the child's father.

I can't leave it alone. He wants me to accept her like I accepted all of his ex-gfs.

[Anonymous]

You've got 2 choices. 1. Get over it and realize it's not about you. Be nice to her and be warm and welcoming. 2. Continue to judge her and believe she's not good enough for your son and then deal with the fall out. Which very well could be him freezing you out of his life.

Personally, I'm a fan of option 1 in any situation where there is no harm being caused to any of the parties.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if you're ok with it. Either you accept her or you risk alienating him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

No education. No stable job. She lives with her parents. Problems with the child's father.

I can't leave it alone. He wants me to accept her like I accepted all of his ex-gfs.

He knows how you feel. What do you hope to accomplish by not leaving it alone? If he hasn't seen your side of it yet, he's very likely to choose her over you. Do you really want to ruin your relationship with your son because you don't like his girlfriend? That seems foolish to me.

[Anonymous]

Men in his 20s like to deal with a hot mess. I hope she doesn’t get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've got 2 choices. 1. Get over it and realize it's not about you. Be nice to her and be warm and welcoming. 2. Continue to judge her and believe she's not good enough for your son and then deal with the fall out. Which very well could be him freezing you out of his life.

Personally, I'm a fan of option 1 in any situation where there is no harm being caused to any of the parties.

Exactly !!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men in his 20s like to deal with a hot mess. I hope she doesn’t get pregnant.

That's our biggest fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

No education. No stable job. She lives with her parents. Problems with the child's father.

I can't leave it alone. He wants me to accept her like I accepted all of his ex-gfs.

Of course, you can leave it alone. It's clear you want to meddle and break them up. The "she is not good enough for my boy" is a tale as old as time. He is an adult. Leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

He is an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult.

He is 23 and hormone crazy. He would pay a surcharge to rent a car because insurance companies don't trust the judgment of a 23 year old.

Good luck, OP. I hope you had a good conversation about birth control with him.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult.

He will be now with a dependent GF and child.

[Anonymous]

It's OK.. but if the genders were reversed....