Moms what marriage advice would you give your daughters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

[Anonymous]

Any man who wants to be a SAHD is a huge RED FLAG!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Most DDs are mentally ill

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/newsletter/the-despair-of-young-liberal-women/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marry a nerd

Only if you’re super independent and social outside of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Acute anxiety or depression is not a mental disorder.

Chronic anxiety or depression is a symptom of an underlying mental disorder, often adhd or asd, which should be treated as well.

[Anonymous]

The most significant drawback to DCUM is that the women posters focus on evaluating men, and their drawbacks instead of concentrating on themselves when considering relationship issues.

The best advice for a DD is to get to know yourself first and then consider what you want in a spouse. For example, what are you willing to do in a relationship, what type of man to enjoy being with, etc.

If you know yourself, then you can know others. But going into dating with a checklist (e.g., must love cats, must make $___ annually, etc.) is stupid and shortsighted. Unless you want the men you date to see if you "check their boxes" instead of seeing you for who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice I’ve given is to wait until you’ve achieved your educational goals before starting any relationship, that a partner should Support and encourage your goals, and should always make you feel safe and comfortable.
For maintaining a good relationship, communication and respect and honesty. And remember, you can only control yourself. Your partner may flake, no matter what.

Then this morphs into, “Wait until you have some financial stability,” and the goalposts keep moving. Then you end up spending $100,000 on IVF and still can’t get pregnant. There’s a reason that no women until the last 60 years of recorded history waited until their 30s to get in a relationship and start a family, and it’s not just the patriarchy.

This tbh. Don't overinvest in education and career so much that you aren't dating to marry until your 30s or 40s. You just need something to fall back on if worst comes to worst, not making it your whole lifestyle... If you do, men of value will just pick the young college grad with no fertility concerns / debt / therapy baggage, and there will be no getting those misspent years of your youth back. Those years of your life are priceless - invest them well.

Have your education wrapped up by 24 at the latest, but preferably sooner. That gives you just a few years to find a really good man before your options are limited to the bums already warned about ITT.

Your advice is that women should not be doctors or get their phDs? Terrible advice!

[Anonymous]

I would give the advice of Waylon Jennings: if you are a good-hearted woman don’t fall in love with a good-timing man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't. There isn't a damned thing you'll have, with certainty, in a marriage that you can't have in a relationship that isn't government-bound. It's a hell of a lot easier to leave a partner than it is to leave a spouse. Have you own affairs in order such that the "financial incentives" of marriage aren't a draw. No health insurance, cheaper rates, etc. are worth what you may end up going through as a person who needs to ask the government for permission to leave "your person" if/when they stop acting like they're actually your person.

So just don't. Have a life that belongs to you. Get an education, get a job you find meaningful and as satisfying as a job can be, have friends, travel, engage in relationships when you want to and LEAVE THEM when they're no longer aligned with your goals. Never let anyone mistreat you twice (and most people should get cut off after the first round; forgive them and LET THEM GO).

And take your birth control. Never trust that a man is going to have/use a condom.

Uh, if you have children, this is a good thing.

If you have children, it's better to be stuck to someone who doesn't want to model a healthy, functional relationship?

No, it's not. And child support is child support, married or not.

There is no advantage to being married to someone who isn't a loving, supportive, capable and competent partner, and no disadvantage to not being married to someone who is. Being able to get out fast is always a plus. People change, sometimes overnight, and being stuck with someone who sucks "for the kids" is a nightmare all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Acute anxiety or depression is not a mental disorder.

Chronic anxiety or depression is a symptom of an underlying mental disorder, often adhd or asd, which should be treated as well.

Anxiety and depression are also something that I tell my daughter to watch out for. Not a deal breaker but should be considered before marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most significant drawback to DCUM is that the women posters focus on evaluating men, and their drawbacks instead of concentrating on themselves when considering relationship issues.

The best advice for a DD is to get to know yourself first and then consider what you want in a spouse. For example, what are you willing to do in a relationship, what type of man to enjoy being with, etc.

If you know yourself, then you can know others. But going into dating with a checklist (e.g., must love cats, must make $___ annually, etc.) is stupid and shortsighted. Unless you want the men you date to see if you "check their boxes" instead of seeing you for who you are.

Love this! Definitely a conservation starter for my teen daughter
And me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice I’ve given is to wait until you’ve achieved your educational goals before starting any relationship, that a partner should Support and encourage your goals, and should always make you feel safe and comfortable.
For maintaining a good relationship, communication and respect and honesty. And remember, you can only control yourself. Your partner may flake, no matter what.

Then this morphs into, “Wait until you have some financial stability,” and the goalposts keep moving. Then you end up spending $100,000 on IVF and still can’t get pregnant. There’s a reason that no women until the last 60 years of recorded history waited until their 30s to get in a relationship and start a family, and it’s not just the patriarchy.

This tbh. Don't overinvest in education and career so much that you aren't dating to marry until your 30s or 40s. You just need something to fall back on if worst comes to worst, not making it your whole lifestyle... If you do, men of value will just pick the young college grad with no fertility concerns / debt / therapy baggage, and there will be no getting those misspent years of your youth back. Those years of your life are priceless - invest them well.

Have your education wrapped up by 24 at the latest, but preferably sooner. That gives you just a few years to find a really good man before your options are limited to the bums already warned about ITT.

Your advice is that women should not be doctors or get their phDs? Terrible advice!

Advance degrees and career should go hand and hand with life, can't put one or the other on hold. 24-34 is a woman's peek time for finding and strengthening a relationship and having first child.

[Anonymous]

*hand in hand

[Anonymous]

Don't marry for the $$$ or the D.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, most women with unrealistically high expectations, are better off staying single than being disappointed and disappointing. Not worth it.