Moms what marriage advice would you give your daughters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What advice would you give your daughter regarding how to pick a man that would be a good husband and father? What advice would you give about maintaining a marriage? I need your collective wisdom!

Pay attention to how he treats people when he thinks no one’s watching, how he treats waitstaff, etc. Find someone who makes you laugh, and that you can “just be” with. Don’t marry a guy who won’t be the passenger in a car driven by his wife, or any other LDE stuff like that.

Advice for maintaining a marriage: admit when you’re wrong, and apologize. Forgive the little things, you’re both humans just trying your best. Have lots of sex.

What is LDE?

Little dick energy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is intelligent and ambitious, so I'll encourage her to date and ultimately marry someone of similar intelligence, ambition, and work ethic. He should share the same values around family, money, sex, and leisure.

+1 yes! Be equality yoked

[Anonymous]

If you didn't pick a good partner yourself, shouldn't you let them make their own choices instead of repeating or avoiding yours.

[Anonymous]

Marry someone who values and takes pride in caring for his family.
A man who can keep a steady job even if it’s not going well, not constantly switching jobs because they think their boss is an idiot and the grass is greener somewhere else. (They will switch up wives at some point with this attitude).
You let be on same page about money. NOT, “I will manage all of our finances since good at that” NO. You both should have competence to manage a household and shared funds. Don’t marry until you both know how to set goals, save and the difference between a need and want.
Never marry someone with a bad temper.
Never ever marry someone who gives you the silent treatment ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who wants to be a SAHD is a huge RED FLAG!

Can you explain why?

If a man you are dating says this it really indicates lack of ambition and willingness to sponge off you. I know it’s sexist but most men should have a normal drive to work and provide for their family.

[Anonymous]

I only have sons but the main thing is to marry someone who also wants to work and is ambitious and is your equal in effort and is bringing an equal amount to the table. That’s the advice I give them that’s also suited to girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at your future FIL. That is who you will be married to in 20 years. Not in all cases, but often holds true.

So true. My wife turned out to be just like her mother, namely an absolute disaster and train wreck. I should have seen the red flags. All the sh**t she was complaining about her mom about vowing not be like her never materialized. She not only matched her toxic personality, but I think she exceeded them. So guys look at your MIL before you marry her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Acute anxiety or depression is not a mental disorder.

Chronic anxiety or depression is a symptom of an underlying mental disorder, often adhd or asd, which should be treated as well.

Anxiety and depression are also something that I tell my daughter to watch out for. Not a deal breaker but should be considered before marriage.

The amount of women I have come across dealing with depression and anxiety has been an eye opener. I do not know the reasons, but it may be something new. I hope our society looks into this.

Men are by default slapped with standard labels. Women not so much. And I think they will really benefit from society taking a closer look.

The assumption is that men are the issues and women are okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get a tattoo if you want a good man to marry you.

This is pretty old fashioned and not really good advice anymore

[Anonymous]

Who:
- Most of what others have stated
- Someone you feel like you can totally be yourself with
- Someone you really like, admire and whom you like talking to
- Ideally big picture vision and values align
- Someone who has the skills (not quick to anger, can verbalize feeling) to work through conflict and differences.

Once in a relationship:
- Realize that every characteristic has pros and cons; you like that he plans dates but later you complain that he's rigid and never goes with the flow.
- Accept that the relationship is made up of two imperfect humans. We are all worthy of love and are there to make the journey through life a bit better.
- Don't let conflicts build up; try to forgive and "forget" (don't let negative energy carry over into future interactions) as much as you can.
- Don't worry too much about things being balanced; if you usually have to initiate sex, it's not ideal but is it better to not have it at all?
- Look for all the ways they show they love you; it may not be how you express it and it may change over time but it's there.

[Anonymous]

You can do all the right things and still end up with a dud. If you marry young then the person you are with in 20 years may not be the same one you married (goes both ways). Maintain a strong support system and don’t be afraid to cut your losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for a man whose parents have a stable marriage and who gets along with his family members. Get a solid education and work a few years before marriage, no earlier than 25. He needs to like dogs, have an education and a steady job. Ask about history of mental illness or ADHD.

So, I take it, someone allergic to dogs isn't husband material no matter what?
You 'dog mommas' are batshit crazy.

[Anonymous]

Education wrapped up by 24???
So don’t be a woman doctor or get a doctorate?
This sounds like some Trumper stuff where a woman’s value is only in her looks, so better marry early as you will “be an old ugly maid” if you wait till 28.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I’m the PP above. I forgot to quote the poster who said to advise young women to be done with their education by 24 to get on that marriage thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have sons but the main thing is to marry someone who also wants to work and is ambitious and is your equal in effort and is bringing an equal amount to the table. That’s the advice I give them that’s also suited to girls

Are you also teaching your sons to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, schedule appointments and do all of the unpaid things involved in running a household? I’m teaching my daughter to look for a man who will be an equal domestic partner, especially if he expects her to be an equal financial one.