Visiting non-drinkers

[Anonymous]

I didn't grow up with alcohol as part of family celebrations. It was around but we didn't (and still don't) have family dinners where alcohol was served and, as an adult, I can take or leave alcohol. I would not bring a bottle nor think twice about not having alcohol on NYE as I have spent many a NYE sober (and some not sober, because, again, I drink, I just don't care that much about it and generally don't drink much).

[Anonymous]

You need to drink to feel comfortable in a “socially charged” situation? Hmmm…

[Anonymous]

If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

But you're not an alcoholic. Not at all. This is totally healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to drink to feel comfortable in a “socially charged” situation? Hmmm…

Right? It's classic addict mentality. Can't handle reality w/o drug-of-choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I will be spending New Year’s Eve with my son’s girlfriend’s parents for the first time . They apparently do not drink (though are okay if their adult kids do). I enjoy wine with dinner, and to be honest would ideally have some wine on New Year’s Eve—especially in a socially charged situation—nothing excessive at all.

But, perhaps it is rude of me to bring wine, if they don’t drink? (No one under 21 will be present.) Thanks.

Bringing wine to a place where you know people are deliberately abstaining is excessive. If you can't go a night without it, even in "a socially charged situation" you may have a problem with alcohol use/dependence.

Spend a single sober night. You will survive. Unless, of course, you won't, in which case, you're already an alcoholic and will need supervised detox to deal with your DTs.

Seriously, though. The fact that the thought of being without booze for a single event is giving you this much stress indicates you have a problematic relationship to alcohol. There are all kinds of programs that can help you with this.

-7+ years sober (and I used to "sneak a flask" to all kinds of things I "enjoyed more w/o booze", so I get it)

Blah blah blah. It’s not just any night we’re talking about, folks. It’s NYE! Basically anyone who drinks has a glass of champagne on NYE. You’re acting like it’s a random Tuesday night in March. Get over yourself. Just because you’re an alcoholic doesn’t mean everyone is.

It's one night. There's nothing magical about a glass of alcohol on new year's. Plenty of people don't drink. If you can't be one of them, if you're so addicted that you have to bring booze somewhere you know it won't be, that's not about "enjoyment", it's about your addiction.

Fighting this hard for it, like it's some sort of sacred thing, represents a very flawed relationship to a food item. Do you go this hard for eggs on Easter? Goose on Christmas?

Sober up. If you can't, well, there's your problem

If someone really wants to bring pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving it doesn't make them an addict. Some people treat alcohol like food. It's just another item on the table to sample and not consumed as a drug. It doesn't have a hold on us as it apparently does for you.

Thank you.

Why are so many people using “need” interchangeably with “prefer?”

If it's a simple preference, there'd be no trouble going without. I'd prefer sunshine, but if it rains, so be it.

If you know a party/household is dry, but you're making all sorts of excuses about why you should bring booze, that's not "prefer". It's not really "need" either; nobody "needs" alcohol. But the mentality presents as a need, and the linguistic attempts to hide it (preference, tradition, enjoyment) are being called out as what they are: dodges and code words.

Nobody needs booze, and if it's true that you simply "prefer" it, well, you don't always get your preferences, right? For a non-addicted adult, this isn't even a question.

The OP said they were non drinkers. Not dry. Dry to me sounds more deliberate. I am a non drinker and non pumpkin eater. I don't like them and don't serve them but couldn't care less if someone brought them. It would be different if someone were allergic or a recovering addict. That'd what OP needs to find out from their kid.

[Anonymous]

What’s interesting to me is the twisting of norms just because it’s alcohol.

Most people
On here would agree to never bring something extra to a dinner party as it may mess up the host’s menu. It’s not a hostess gift either, as the hosts will not use it.

It seems like a weird hill to die on over a “preference”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

Beyond trashy. This is alcoholism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

Beyond trashy. This is alcoholism.

Of course it is, but this is not from OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

But you're not an alcoholic. Not at all. This is totally healthy.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's not just us (some of us) on an anonymous forum thinking - that it will seem odd that alcohol is so important. What about the Hosts? You should care a little more about not having them wonder. That's why you should fit in to whatever is ordinary at their house. They don't know you *can't* go without alcohol. These people don't know you.

[Anonymous]

+1 These are potentially your kid's future inlaws. Co grandparents of your grandkids.
Don't make it clear at first meeting you're not allowed to take them places unsupervised because you may be drinking.
Also they will wonder if it runs in your family

[Anonymous]

OMG, some of you people are really over the top.

[Anonymous]

I don’t drink alcohol but would have it available for guests. Why don’t you ask your son what the vibe is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need to steady your nerves before and after a night in a socially charged situation, park nearby. Chug some vodka with a breath mint chaser when you arrive. Slip out for something you forgot just before midnight and chug some more. Put bottle in trunk because of open container law. Bring in Resolutions list or a bell to ring or something you "went to get."

+1
I like someone that plans ahead!