Enough is enough with the redshirting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strange how it seems so many of you don’t understand how cutoff dates are arbitrary. There will always be someone on the edge of the cutoff who will either be the oldest or the youngest. Whining about how it’s not fair serves no purpose and doesn’t even make logical sense.

I agree with you that cutoff dates are arbitrary and there will always be kids who are oldest/youngest. I disagree with you that the current ability to ignore the published cutoffs and choose a different grade for your child is necessary or fair. In some school systems, the cutoffs are hard and you cannot redshirt, ensuring the age spread within a grade remains 12 months. I wish this were our rule because I think it’s a better and more fair system. People are allowed to want this and work toward its implementation. You’re allowed to prefer the current rules. You don’t need to accuse people of misunderstanding or act pedantic when people have an opinion different from yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

So they'd have Oct-Dec birthday in 2014? That's 11-9 months older than the oldest regular 3rd grader. My son had one in his class, the kid was fine except a little better at sports/leadership esp during recess, which was the daily social life of DS. But I think if they misbehave, they'd misbehave even without being redshirted.

Yes. This is OP. We expected summer redshirts but we did not expect this. It’s gotten so out of hand.

Why is it “getting” out of hand? It’s 3rd grade now. Haven’t the peers stayed the same since kindergarten? Either change schools or make the best of it. Are you also the poster constantly agitating about the basketball team that is by grade and is a constant source of frustration for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange how it seems so many of you don’t understand how cutoff dates are arbitrary. There will always be someone on the edge of the cutoff who will either be the oldest or the youngest. Whining about how it’s not fair serves no purpose and doesn’t even make logical sense.

Maybe you would feel different if your own kid was having issues that were caused by people holding their kids back. If your kid can start but you hold back then you are gaming the system in order to benefit your own child at the expense of parents who didn’t play games like that. That is inherently unfair.

And maybe you would feel different if your kid was having issues that cause you to hold back, issues that aren’t obvious and are private not shared with the other parents.

If it’s not obvious, then how big of an issue could it be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange how it seems so many of you don’t understand how cutoff dates are arbitrary. There will always be someone on the edge of the cutoff who will either be the oldest or the youngest. Whining about how it’s not fair serves no purpose and doesn’t even make logical sense.

Maybe you would feel different if your own kid was having issues that were caused by people holding their kids back. If your kid can start but you hold back then you are gaming the system in order to benefit your own child at the expense of parents who didn’t play games like that. That is inherently unfair.

And maybe you would feel different if your kid was having issues that cause you to hold back, issues that aren’t obvious and are private not shared with the other parents.

If it’s not obvious, then how big of an issue could it be?

Do you see every kids report card?

[Anonymous]

What? My fourth grader won’t be ten until next summer. He’d be so embarrassed to be going into THIRD grade as a ten year old. What is the point of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

In practical terms, how does this impact you?

I'm not someone who redshirted BTW.

I'm not someone who redshirted either, but holy moly isn't it obvious? If there are still many developmental differences at this age, it can badly affect kids that are on the younger side emotionally, socially, physically, mentally, academically, etc. and it must be frustrating if they are in the grade they are supposed to be, and other kids are not.

You’re assuming that kids emotional, social, physical, mental, academic, etc. development is synchronized with age. While there is certainly a general correlation, each child is a unique individual that may be more advanced in the development of some characteristics, and behind in the development of others.

Clearly, some kids are tall for their age and others are short. Some short kids may be smarter or more academic than some tall kids. Some kids may be more mature than others, and that may or may not correspond to their height, mental abilities, or academic levels. Not to mention that you have no idea specific issues a child might have now, much less have had before they were scheduled to start K “on time” (and it’s not any of your business).

If a child is redshirted, they are in the grade they are supposed to be in, you just don’t know why.

If it’s any consolation, there may be a child who was “supposed to be” in your child’s class, but was redshirted because their parents felt that their child wasn’t ready for K when your child was. Instead of sending this hypothetical child to school when they couldn’t sit still and would wander around the classroom when the teacher was trying to explain a lesson, or when they hadn’t learned emotional control and might strike out at other kids when they got frustrated, or weren’t ready academically and required extra instruction from the teacher when your child was ready to learn something new, or had speech problems so severe that without an extra year of speech therapy even their parents couldn’t really understand them, or had medical issues that caused potty training issues that they were working with the pediatrician to resolve, etc., their parents did your child a HUGE favor by redshirting that child and giving them extra time to address those problems so that they would be less disruptive to their classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? My fourth grader won’t be ten until next summer. He’d be so embarrassed to be going into THIRD grade as a ten year old. What is the point of this?

OP didn’t say they were going into third grade as a 10 yo. OP said that in December, more than 3 months into the year, they were 10 yo. They were only held back 1 year, which isn’t that big a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

So they'd have Oct-Dec birthday in 2014? That's 11-9 months older than the oldest regular 3rd grader. My son had one in his class, the kid was fine except a little better at sports/leadership esp during recess, which was the daily social life of DS. But I think if they misbehave, they'd misbehave even without being redshirted.

Yes. This is OP. We expected summer redshirts but we did not expect this. It’s gotten so out of hand.

Why is it “getting” out of hand? It’s 3rd grade now. Haven’t the peers stayed the same since kindergarten? Either change schools or make the best of it. Are you also the poster constantly agitating about the basketball team that is by grade and is a constant source of frustration for you?

We have room for everyone on our schools sports team because it’s no cut but it is by grade so the oldest kids tend to be best. Which is fine, just annoying. They definitely let everyone know they are better too. It’s all fine, I would just describe it as annoying since many people use it as a tool to have an advantage in team sports and don’t really have a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

In practical terms, how does this impact you?

I'm not someone who redshirted BTW.

I'm not someone who redshirted either, but holy moly isn't it obvious? If there are still many developmental differences at this age, it can badly affect kids that are on the younger side emotionally, socially, physically, mentally, academically, etc. and it must be frustrating if they are in the grade they are supposed to be, and other kids are not.

You’re assuming that kids emotional, social, physical, mental, academic, etc. development is synchronized with age. While there is certainly a general correlation, each child is a unique individual that may be more advanced in the development of some characteristics, and behind in the development of others.

Clearly, some kids are tall for their age and others are short. Some short kids may be smarter or more academic than some tall kids. Some kids may be more mature than others, and that may or may not correspond to their height, mental abilities, or academic levels. Not to mention that you have no idea specific issues a child might have now, much less have had before they were scheduled to start K “on time” (and it’s not any of your business).

If a child is redshirted, they are in the grade they are supposed to be in, you just don’t know why.

If it’s any consolation, there may be a child who was “supposed to be” in your child’s class, but was redshirted because their parents felt that their child wasn’t ready for K when your child was. Instead of sending this hypothetical child to school when they couldn’t sit still and would wander around the classroom when the teacher was trying to explain a lesson, or when they hadn’t learned emotional control and might strike out at other kids when they got frustrated, or weren’t ready academically and required extra instruction from the teacher when your child was ready to learn something new, or had speech problems so severe that without an extra year of speech therapy even their parents couldn’t really understand them, or had medical issues that caused potty training issues that they were working with the pediatrician to resolve, etc., their parents did your child a HUGE favor by redshirting that child and giving them extra time to address those problems so that they would be less disruptive to their classmates.

Don’t hurt yourself doing backflips like that!

If red shirting wasn’t an advantage then nobody would red shirt. You can’t deny it. There is some serious next level gaslighting going on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? My fourth grader won’t be ten until next summer. He’d be so embarrassed to be going into THIRD grade as a ten year old. What is the point of this?

OP didn’t say they were going into third grade as a 10 yo. OP said that in December, more than 3 months into the year, they were 10 yo. They were only held back 1 year, which isn’t that big a difference.

It’s only a year but it’s a big gap in elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

In practical terms, how does this impact you?

I'm not someone who redshirted BTW.

I'm not someone who redshirted either, but holy moly isn't it obvious? If there are still many developmental differences at this age, it can badly affect kids that are on the younger side emotionally, socially, physically, mentally, academically, etc. and it must be frustrating if they are in the grade they are supposed to be, and other kids are not.

You’re assuming that kids emotional, social, physical, mental, academic, etc. development is synchronized with age. While there is certainly a general correlation, each child is a unique individual that may be more advanced in the development of some characteristics, and behind in the development of others.

Clearly, some kids are tall for their age and others are short. Some short kids may be smarter or more academic than some tall kids. Some kids may be more mature than others, and that may or may not correspond to their height, mental abilities, or academic levels. Not to mention that you have no idea specific issues a child might have now, much less have had before they were scheduled to start K “on time” (and it’s not any of your business).

If a child is redshirted, they are in the grade they are supposed to be in, you just don’t know why.

If it’s any consolation, there may be a child who was “supposed to be” in your child’s class, but was redshirted because their parents felt that their child wasn’t ready for K when your child was. Instead of sending this hypothetical child to school when they couldn’t sit still and would wander around the classroom when the teacher was trying to explain a lesson, or when they hadn’t learned emotional control and might strike out at other kids when they got frustrated, or weren’t ready academically and required extra instruction from the teacher when your child was ready to learn something new, or had speech problems so severe that without an extra year of speech therapy even their parents couldn’t really understand them, or had medical issues that caused potty training issues that they were working with the pediatrician to resolve, etc., their parents did your child a HUGE favor by redshirting that child and giving them extra time to address those problems so that they would be less disruptive to their classmates.

Don’t hurt yourself doing backflips like that!

If red shirting wasn’t an advantage then nobody would red shirt. You can’t deny it. There is some serious next level gaslighting going on here.

Yes, just be upfront about it. It would be refreshing to hear. “It’s so nice to have an older kid. I never have to worry about their confidence and they get to be recognized as a leader. Schools and sports are easy for him”

[Anonymous]

Didn't read all the posts, but 10 in 3rd grade is held back, not red shirting. And there are probably a lot more families in that position due to covid. 2015/2014 kids were entering K in 2020. Its not hard to understand why more families held them backnor repeated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid followed the cut offs and started 6th grade as a 10 yo this fall. There shouldn't be any 10 yos in 3rd grade.

Your cutoffs are weird. My 11yo is in 5th grade with a September birthday, after the cutoff.

DP but FCPS has a September 30th cut-off. My kid will be 10 for the first couple weeks of 6th. Meanwhile my Feb. birthday kid started 6th as an 11 yo and turned 12 in the middle, like you'd expect.

My school, like many others, has a Sept 1 cutoff.

Yes, Maryland is Sept 1. Virginia and DC are Sept 30. Schools start back in August in many places, so there are 10 yo 6th graders for a few weeks.

Yes thats my son with a late August birthday. He turned 11 the second week of 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? My fourth grader won’t be ten until next summer. He’d be so embarrassed to be going into THIRD grade as a ten year old. What is the point of this?

My friend' son turned 10 in 3rd. He was red shirted and then retained in K. So essentially started 2 years later than he should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange how it seems so many of you don’t understand how cutoff dates are arbitrary. There will always be someone on the edge of the cutoff who will either be the oldest or the youngest. Whining about how it’s not fair serves no purpose and doesn’t even make logical sense.

Maybe you would feel different if your own kid was having issues that were caused by people holding their kids back. If your kid can start but you hold back then you are gaming the system in order to benefit your own child at the expense of parents who didn’t play games like that. That is inherently unfair.

And maybe you would feel different if your kid was having issues that cause you to hold back, issues that aren’t obvious and are private not shared with the other parents.

If it’s not obvious, then how big of an issue could it be?

Do you see every kids report card?

Do they give report cards in preschool when you are making the decision to send on time or hold back?