Do you include a check to the family with your condolence card at a funeral?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is standard in Hawaii. You put $20 or $50 (cash, not check) in the condolence card at the funeral or when you send it. It would be very rude not to do so. Doesn’t matter what your “culture” is, it is the culture of Hawaii.

+1. Just wanted to warn people not to put cash, money orders or gift cards in the mail. I've had them stolen repeatedly by mail personnel in transit from Hawaii to Los Angeles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this may also be a southern thing. My mother’s family is from the south and she has always done this.

Definitely not. Never heard of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this may also be a southern thing. My mother’s family is from the south and she has always done this.

We noticed this when my Dad died -- they had retired to the South from NY, and my mom was shocked with the amount of money she received in condolence cards. It was definitely not our custom. Although one cousin did slip my mom some money at the memorial dinner we had for Dad after the NY burial. (it was like 60 people with a large buffet and open bar, so that felt a little less weird)