How Much Do You & Your Spouse Drink Each Night

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd start with Al Anon for support and advice as soon as possible. Don't know if this is realistic but could you speak with his doctor? The drinking and driving really freaks me out, a very close friend's sister was murdered by a drunk driver who was drinking in the car on the way home from work. Another friend's neighbor was killed in a head on accident last week when he was driving his kids to their first day of school. The kids did survive but their dad is gone. This has implication so much bigger than just him or you and him. Do you have a contingency plan if he is jailed for DUI and loses his job? If you are finding empties in the car it's really a matter of time. Has anyone at all in his familiy stopped drinking? If not, that is telling and IMHO makes it less likely that he is going to change his behavior. He is an addict and his addiction makes him potentially lethal to everyone else on the road. Horrifying.

[Anonymous]

About a bottle a night (just me - DH does not really drink)...But I am struggling with the fact that I have a serious drinking problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 but no more than 3. it used to be a lot more. if he has sleep problems you can explain that those would cease if he stopped. Alcohol helps sleep onset occur much quicker but disrupts the later stages of sleep.

Well, he insists that the beer helps him sleep. I've found empty beer in the trunk of his car as well as bottles in his glove box. I also have found receipts to bars that were for times he was supposedly at work or on his way home. It makes me very sad. Anytime I bring it up he just tells me I am complaining and nagging.

He can go days w/out drinking but there are few and far between.

Drinking on the sly and hiding beer bottles is a classic sign of an alcoholic. Go to AlAnon and get help for yourself and help your children. Get this through your head: you are married to an alcoholic and, ultimately, will do severe damage to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 but no more than 3. it used to be a lot more. if he has sleep problems you can explain that those would cease if he stopped. Alcohol helps sleep onset occur much quicker but disrupts the later stages of sleep.

Well, he insists that the beer helps him sleep. I've found empty beer in the trunk of his car as well as bottles in his glove box. I also have found receipts to bars that were for times he was supposedly at work or on his way home. It makes me very sad. Anytime I bring it up he just tells me I am complaining and nagging.

He can go days w/out drinking but there are few and far between.

Binge drinking. It is the same--he is an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

I have never been a big drinker. Husband has had a couple of drink phases when he was younger but nothing in the last seven years and he only drinks if he is on vacation with his buddies about once or twice a year. But, I always worry in the back of my mind that he has that potential if something were to trigger it.

Luckily, I'm too vain to be an alcoholic it causes too many wrinkles etc. Ladies, find another stress-buster like dancing or a favorite sport. or even a lover. Anything, but alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Ya'll should just smoke some pot instead! Or if smoking it is not your thing, just make some brownies. I have yet to hear of any physical damage to the body from ingesting herb. Smoking yes, but not eating it.

[Anonymous]

"Go to AlAnon and get help for yourself and help your children. Get this through your head: you are married to an alcoholic and, ultimately, will do severe damage to your children. "

And do it today!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ya'll should just smoke some pot instead! Or if smoking it is not your thing, just make some brownies. I have yet to hear of any physical damage to the body from ingesting herb. Smoking yes, but not eating it.

Pot is illegal and if you get caught you might go to jail and while there some physical, emotional, and mental damage could be done.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it is possible that OP's DH sounds like he has a drinking problem. Esp b/c he has bottles in the car and apparently lies about when and how much he drinks. But reading through the posts here, I think one of two things is happening in this string. Either the responses are from tea-totters and only tea-totters or people are drastically under estimating or under representing how much they drink. The adults, including parents, in my NW Washington neighborhood drink a good deal more then described in these posts. Most have a drink or two every night.

[Anonymous]

I think some of it is an age thing. If I have two glasses of wine I'm flat on my butt (mid-40s). When I was younger I drank more, but when I got to close to a bottle at night during a hard time in my marriage, I recognized it as a problem and that I was poisoning myself. We now almost never drink unless we have a glass of wine when we go out for dinner,and both DH and I feel a lot better and healthier for it. I do think OP's DH has a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is possible that OP's DH sounds like he has a drinking problem. Esp b/c he has bottles in the car and apparently lies about when and how much he drinks. But reading through the posts here, I think one of two things is happening in this string. Either the responses are from tea-totters and only tea-totters or people are drastically under estimating or under representing how much they drink. The adults, including parents, in my NW Washington neighborhood drink a good deal more then described in these posts. Most have a drink or two every night.

I think this is right. People are seizing the opportunity to feel superior by boasting of how little they drink.

[Anonymous]

OP, I like a glass or 2 a night. Probably about 5x/week if we're honest. I'm also the daughter of an alcoholic.

I'm sorry, but your DH definitely has a drinking problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is possible that OP's DH sounds like he has a drinking problem. Esp b/c he has bottles in the car and apparently lies about when and how much he drinks. But reading through the posts here, I think one of two things is happening in this string. Either the responses are from tea-totters and only tea-totters or people are drastically under estimating or under representing how much they drink. The adults, including parents, in my NW Washington neighborhood drink a good deal more then described in these posts. Most have a drink or two every night.

I think this is right. People are seizing the opportunity to feel superior by boasting of how little they drink.

Ok, I'll help tip the balance. My husband and I (both early 40s) each have betwen 1 and 3 drinks (me wine, him beer or wine) each night. We hang out and watch TV, check e-mails, etc. and just chill. I would say most of my friends have at least a glass of wine or two most nights of the week.

[Anonymous]

My husband drank like this when he was a student, which was when I first met him. He also smoked pot. He quit both once he started working because he realized a) he was an adult, time to act like one and b) it was bad for his health. Now that we have kids he rarely drinks more than one or two beers in an evening. Your husband has a problem if he has kids and a job and is still drinking like that. It will kill him eventually, maybe even in his forties.

[Anonymous]

Drinking on the sly and hiding beer bottles is a classic sign of an alcoholic. Go to AlAnon and get help for yourself and help your children. Get this through your head: you are married to an alcoholic and, ultimately, will do severe damage to your children.

child of the alcoholic mom here. and i second this wholeheartedly. hiding the evidence is CLASSIC alcoholic behavior, and i bet he's hiding unopened alcohol in places where you won't find it either. alcoholics are really, really good at covering their tracks. trust me, i've been there. OP, PLEASE DO SOMETHING for your KIDS!!! You may think I'm being hysterical but I'm not. i said it before and i will say it again ... alcohol destroyed my mother, and destroyed my family. don't let that happen to your kids.