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How Much Do You & Your Spouse Drink Each Night
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Anonymous
| I don't drink that much. Probably zero drinks on any given weeks. If I do it's usually a beer or two. I can't bother buying wine because it goes bad before I am able to drink an entire bottle. I do drink more in social situations but I don't socialise often. DH drinks a beer or two a year. |
Anonymous
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Neither DH nor I drink at all, unless we're at a hotel wedding or something similar.
I used to drink quite a bit and enjoyed that a lot. Unclear what happened. |
Anonymous
| Just to balance out the teetotalers in this thread - my husband and I always have a glass of wine w dinner. After dinner we may have another and sometimes before we have a drink. That said , if he were going through a 6pack each night I'd want to talk. |
Anonymous
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man...ya'lls drink a lot!!!
I have about 3 glasses of wine a week, same for my DH. |
Anonymous
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OP: My father and grandfather drank like this. They were functional alcoholics. But eventually it did catch up with them both. My father eventually went from being what I would call a heavy drinker to a full-blow alcoholic. He did not have behavior problems either, but the alcohol led to to moodiness, depression and an early death at 67. He was deeply unhappy and my mother was the classic co-dependent. I had severe depression in my late teens and early twenties trying to understand and cope.
My siblings who never did therapy or went to Al-Anon are nice, functional people, but our family interactions can be unpleasant or shallow. We as the kids were deeply affected and we don't get along well. My one sibing is married to someone who is an alcoholic. These patterns repeat themselves in families and you have to work to break the cycle. We also had a friend who drank like your DH. She died at 38 because of complications from a damaged liver. She just didn't last as long as my father. I found Al-Anon very helpful. It changed my behavior and how I interacted in the family. It ended up changing the family and my father gave up drinking for the last year of his life, but it was too late. Your DH has to come to realize this is a problem. You can only learn more about alcohol and how to change yourself. Nagging will not help nor make any changes. |
Anonymous
| I drink about 2 beers a night, DH about 4. Yep- we also regard this as too much alcohol. Working on cutting back and not using it as THE way to relax and unwind at night. It is difficult because we both really truly love the taste of a strong hoppy beer. |
Anonymous
DH & I used to share a bottle of wine nightly, but now with two kids, we hardly ever drink. We are so spent by the end of the night, alcohol puts us right to sleep. That would be great, but we have so much to do at night, we cannot afford to sleep alymore. 
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Anonymous
I agree with you and aprilmayjune, it is NEVER too late to care and say something about a potential problem. When I met my DH I was a smoker, he was not. He was constantly on my back about it and we was right. I gave up smoking for my DH and for my future children. You OWE ot to your children to live a long life to the extent of your control. My DH has weight issues, always has and I'm always on his back, if he does not want to lose weight for himself, what about his kids? That is the only motivation he has to change. |
Anonymous
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my mother was like this. she started out drinking socially, then 2-3 drinks a night (the equivalent to a 6 pack for a man), then all of a sudden we looked around one day and she was a full-blown drunk. it took a few years, but that's how it happened. and once she crossed that line ... well, i don't really want to go into the nightmare that ensued, but by the time she got sober she was drinking up to a case of beer a day and washing it down with double martinis.
an extreme case, maybe, but i'm just pointing it out to show you that he's sitting on the edge of the abyss, and just a little bit of stress might nudge him over. i second and third the suggestions that you go to Al-Anon and get the tools you need to help him and your family. alcoholism destroyed mine. |
Anonymous
| OP: I think you should post a new thread, something like "Heavy Drinking Spouse" - finding out that other people have no drinks or a few drinks a night isn't really going to help mitigate your anxiety. I understand that parallel people are trying to draw with eating and smoking, and both have negative health ramifications, but they do not impact interpersonal relationships the way that drinking does. Alchoholics tend to be very emotionally shallow and the quality of your relationship with your spouse or the behavior that is modelled for the kids is impacted no matter how much of a "mellow" drunk DH is. Growing up in an alchoholic home will be something your kids are affected by for the rest of their lives and in all of their personal and even work relationships unless they invest a LOT of work in their own "recovery", just not the same as Mommy eating a lot of Oreos. Unless people have experience with alchoholism, they are minimizing how devestating it is to children and families. Look into Alanon today. If your kids are old enough there is even Alateen. Best to you and your family. Your instincts are telling you that this is a problem in your family, that he dismisses you and won't even discuss it confirms that. No person who can easily stop would be so invested in making YOU the problem. Highly recommend Adult Children of Alchoholics (ACOA) to anyone reading. |
Anonymous
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OP I believe that the fed gov defines "heavy drinking" as 5 or more drinks on one occasion, your DH is exceeding that nightly.
Really read the following link, I grew up in a family of drinkers, dad died of liver disease and mom drank to cope with him. The impact on me was huge, there were ripple effects all through my family. It's not a healthy environment for kids at all despite the big house, fancy vacations, etc. We have all struggled as adults, none of us are close. Look into AlAnon, pls, for your kids. If DH stops drinking try to get him to get treatment, AA, therapy, rehab, whatever. A "dry drunk" still lacks the ability to relate to others in an emotionally healthy way or to cope with normal problems and stress. That is what is driving the drinking and just removing the booze doesn't fix the underlying problem. http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html |
Anonymous
| I drink 1 bottle of beer after work. Sometimes I throw in a couple small glasses of wine. DH only drinks once in awhile and he'll have a beer. |
Anonymous
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"Nothing nightly. Maybe one or two drinks on Friday or Saturday. Never seems to be both. I feel too sluggish in the morning from just that. No tolerance these days"
Ditto. |
Anonymous
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The #1 priority of an addict is their next fix.
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Anonymous
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1-2 but no more than 3. it used to be a lot more. if he has sleep problems you can explain that those would cease if he stopped. Alcohol helps sleep onset occur much quicker but disrupts the later stages of sleep.
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