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How Much Do You & Your Spouse Drink Each Night
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Anonymous
| DH has a beer every night, and on a weekend night might treat himself to two. He absolutely loves beer. I don't drink at all. |
Anonymous
| I probably drink a glass of wine 2 or 3 times a month. Sometimes I may go a few months without drinking. My husband would probably have one or two drinks every night but I have relayed to him that this would not be acceptable to me (I've had a few alcoholics in my family and daily consumption of alcohol is just not something I could deal with). |
Anonymous
Did you marry DH with the idea that you could change him? Because the only person yo can chage is yourself. The most important thing to an alcoholic is where is his next drink. My sister was married to an alcoholic and he was sober the first six years and the he started drinking again. It is hell on earth for spouse and children. If you are asking the question of how much DH drinks every night as well as yourself, you've got a problem and you know you have one. Go to an AA meeting and get help before your children are screwed up forever. |
Anonymous
|
I drink one or two glasses a week.
My husband might have one beer a week and is definitely a wine drinker when we are out or entertaining. If we are home alone - we have half a bottle but it is not often at all. |
Anonymous
|
OP,
Second the AlAnon suggestion. They may even have online resources. Try a few different meetings if the first doesn't click. The hard thing is that even if you someday divorce, he will get visitation and you will always be worried for the safety of your kids when with him. On the other hand, grew up in an alchoholic home (parents stayed together) and I wouldn't wish that on any kid. Wild guess - he comes from a family of drinkers, yes? |
Anonymous
|
OP,
Yes Alon is the way to go. I almost married someone who drank this much, I didn't realize he had a drinking problem until after we'd broken up. Do you know his doctor? He should find something to scare sense into him. Good luck. |
Anonymous
|
DH drinks 1 to 3 beers or glasses of wine 1 to 3 nights a week. Maybe once a month we'll go to a party, and he'll have 4 beers (and I'll drive home!). I drink maybe 1 glass of wine or beer 2-3 nights a week. I get tipsy maybe 2-4 times a year, and only when I know that my kids are not going to be in my care. Last time was on my birthday when my parents had the kids and I drank 3 gin and tonics...next time will probably be six months later when I go to a wedding out of state and my sister watches the kids.
On the topic of whether OP "should" address this with her husband even though he drank when she married him, I agree w/ the PPs who think it's OK. I've struggled with my weight all my life and been obese in the past. I was in great shape when I met, dated and married my husband, but he knows about my history. 5 years and 2 kids later, I have 30lbs to lose. My DH and I have had some pretty frank discussions about my weight, and he expressed concern for my health, our future, and the example I'll set for our kids. And I agree with him! Hence the weight watchers and the (ugh!) 5am runs. I'm not equating alcoholism with overeating, but I definitely disagree with the idea that OP has no right to address something that is potentially damaging to her husband's health, her marriage, and her children because he drank before they got married. |
Anonymous
| About a glass or two a night after the kids go to bed. There is nothing better - it's quiet, the lights are dimmed and we watch a movie/catch up on the whole day events. |
Anonymous
Yes, he does come from a family of drinkers. |
Anonymous
This is OP, I didn't marry him thinking I could change him. I didn't really think he drank that much before we had kids. He isn't a mean "drunk" and he doesn't act odd, I just think it's way too much to be drinking on a nightly basis. I am not a drinker. I may have a glass of wine if we go out to dinner but I certainly do not drink at home given the level of concern I have for DH. The thing is no matter what approach I take or how gentle and loving I try to sound to him it's just nagging. |
Anonymous
| It's a fair bit more than any definition of moderate drinking. |
Anonymous
| Does he ever not drink at night? Can he go w/o drinking? |
Anonymous
| We have a drink or two 2-4 nights per week. |
Anonymous
We do the exact same thing. Actually, we went out on Saturday night (kids were at my parent's house 2 hours away) and we each had 3 drinks... now that's a party! |
Anonymous
|
Take this drinking quiz -
http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/ |