Hobbies that are Dealbreakers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nonsense post. The issue is the obsession not the hobby.

+ million. Anyone who judges the hobby itself is probably pretty lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was involved with a guy post-divorce who asked me if I wanted to try mountain biking. I did, he bought us both very nice bikes and we both got totally into it, I loved it.

Several guys at work have busted arms and collarbones mountain biking - needed surgery to install plates and pins. Another guy doesn't even know what happened, he was mountain biking and woke up in the hospital.

Kind of a red flag hobby if you ask me, but maybe there are more sedate trails you can ride on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the endorphin rush from things like running and cycling (maybe weightlifting too?), for some people, affects their brains and bodies to the point that the craving for that rush overwhelms their common sense and skews their sense of perspective. From threads here about this over the years, it gets described much like an addiction.

I lift weights and I think it's a habit, not an addiction. A lot of it is the knowledge that if I quit going, I will lose all the painfully acquired progress and have to work hard to regain it. Probably running and cycling are the same way. If you run enough to get good at it, then quit for a while, restarting again is a real drag.

I have no doubt that some people would regard the amount of time I spend in the gym as indicating addiction and body dysmorphia. Oh well! I don't care what they think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Triathlons. CrossFit. Anime. Golf. Cheese making.

Crossfit? What is the difference between that and just going to the gym for an hour a day (and I go to crossfit)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Triathlons. CrossFit. Anime. Golf. Cheese making.

Crossfit? What is the difference between that and just going to the gym for an hour a day (and I go to crossfit)?

What’s wrong with any of these in non-obsessive doses? Nothing

[Anonymous]

Motorcycles, mountain bikes…what about skiing/snowboarding, martial arts, kayaking, surfing, hiking, bird watching….i could go on.

Maybe playing piano and dungeons and dragons are about as extreme as dc area women are willing to go?

Man, you got to live a little - maybe that is why so many are single around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the endorphin rush from things like running and cycling (maybe weightlifting too?), for some people, affects their brains and bodies to the point that the craving for that rush overwhelms their common sense and skews their sense of perspective. From threads here about this over the years, it gets described much like an addiction.

I lift weights and I think it's a habit, not an addiction. A lot of it is the knowledge that if I quit going, I will lose all the painfully acquired progress and have to work hard to regain it. Probably running and cycling are the same way. If you run enough to get good at it, then quit for a while, restarting again is a real drag.

I have no doubt that some people would regard the amount of time I spend in the gym as indicating addiction and body dysmorphia. Oh well! I don't care what they think.

I’m going to guess this crowd skews undisciplined. Makes them cast stones at anyone who shows consistency.

I want to people to post their screen time totals before slamming any hobbies.

[Anonymous]

I dated a marathon/tri-athalon obsessed guy as well, and although it lasted a couple of years I'm glad I moved on. I was at his wedding and the rabbi said "Larla and Larlo both know a lot about marathons" and I thought to myself "Good, they are both interested in that" and then the rabbi said "Larlo running them, and Larla cheering him on" and I knew I'd dodged a bullet that she hadn't.

But really the only nonstarters for me would be video games and D&D type bs. No gamers, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a marathon/tri-athalon obsessed guy as well, and although it lasted a couple of years I'm glad I moved on. I was at his wedding and the rabbi said "Larla and Larlo both know a lot about marathons" and I thought to myself "Good, they are both interested in that" and then the rabbi said "Larlo running them, and Larla cheering him on" and I knew I'd dodged a bullet that she hadn't.

But really the only nonstarters for me would be video games and D&D type bs. No gamers, thanks.

Dodged a bullet because she happily supports her husband?!
He dodged the bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a marathon/tri-athalon obsessed guy as well, and although it lasted a couple of years I'm glad I moved on. I was at his wedding and the rabbi said "Larla and Larlo both know a lot about marathons" and I thought to myself "Good, they are both interested in that" and then the rabbi said "Larlo running them, and Larla cheering him on" and I knew I'd dodged a bullet that she hadn't.

But really the only nonstarters for me would be video games and D&D type bs. No gamers, thanks.

Dodged a bullet because she happily supports her husband?!
He dodged the bullet.

You clearly don't know what you are on about.

Probably 30% or more of any given year's weekends involved a marathon, tri-athalon, or even ironman, and all other free time was spent training for these races. Social life was dominated by work-out friends. Want to go on a long couple's weekend with good friends? Forget it, it's the weekend of the Boston Marathon. Need help with the kids' Saturday activities? Too bad, he's on an all-day bike ride that day with bike friends getting ready for a triathlon. Getting the kids ready for school in the morning? Do it yourself, that's when he's at the gym for his swim lessons. A trip for your birthday? Nope, it's the week of the marathon that qualifies for Boston. In other words: Good luck having a life together, or even your own, when a spouse's life revolves around this. Oh, and if you live in Chicago, your kid might get frostbite when you have to travel for work and he refuses to give up his morning run even though it is below freezing, thinking the stroller and extra weight is "great for training."

I definitely dodged a bullet. We are still friends though, so I know he's still crazed about all of this many years later. But yes, his DW supports him -- she was all desperate to marry an Ivy League doctor. Lol. So pathetic. Lots of that going on around here though.

[Anonymous]

I thank the good Lord that I did not marry a video gamer or online gamer. Immature, unsexy habit.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised I don't see auto-racing on here. Women tend to get a bit antsy when a good weekend means only 2 or 3 thousand in tires, fuel and maintenance (this is just having fun at the track . . .not real racing). Forget the initial cost of the car, trailer, truck, travel time, etc.

[Anonymous]

World of Warcraft - complete time suck that caused my college boyfriend to flunk out of school
Anime - he will leave you for an Asian woman at first opportunity
PC gaming in general (Nintendo type stuff doesn't seem to be as addictive) - again time suck, they will spend beautiful summer Saturdays doing this
I ended up with a husband with no real hobbies, he messes around with guitar but that's it. I have quite a few but none of them take precedence.

[Anonymous]

Deal-breaker is someone who is obsessed with their kid(s). Constantly gushing/ talking about/ focused on, to the point that anything else is not important. They are boring as friends and as boyfriends. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't broken up with anyone over this, by cycling is a deal breaker for me at this point.

I had an ex-fiancé who played on/managed a highly competitive amateur soccer team. He was obsessive about it, to the point that I usually came second to soccer. We'd be on vacation and he'd spend half the time on his phone about soccer. We'd be hiking and he'd be 20 ft behind me texting about the soccer team.

I'm not saying we broke up over it specifically, but it ruined a huge part of our relationship.

Cyclists are horrible people.