First period - how do you handle it with male members of family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and I can assure you they would not want to hear about this.

Do better. Honestly if you are raising boys who are squeamish about this, you are doing them a disservice.

Boys are squeamish when they are not familiar. Do talk about it with them and help them become familiar. They will most likely live with a woman one day, and at a minimum we make up half the population. Understanding periods goes a long way toward understanding what life is like for women.

Many of us were taught heavy shame surrounding our periods. Raising a generation of men who DO NOT see the shame is a huge gift you could give the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and I can assure you they would not want to hear about this.

Do better. Honestly if you are raising boys who are squeamish about this, you are doing them a disservice.

Boys are squeamish when they are not familiar. Do talk about it with them and help them become familiar. They will most likely live with a woman one day, and at a minimum we make up half the population. Understanding periods goes a long way toward understanding what life is like for women.

Many of us were taught heavy shame surrounding our periods. Raising a generation of men who DO NOT see the shame is a huge gift you could give the world.

NP. Literally no one but your Dr wants to hear about your period. It isn’t that it makes boys “squeamish” it is that they do not care. Same goes for everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Im a couple years from this but i have two girls. Its up to them if they want to talk about it publicly. We are a no shame household so they know about periods and supplies etc. and Dh is very supportive and has bought me supplies when needed so i would tell him. He is goofy and would totally do a period party with red velvet cake and all sorts of kitsch. But only if the kids want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow your DDs lead. This is her body and decides when/how to share information about it. I would tell DH, but that’s it.

This.
We are a 2 mom family so not really an issue but I wouldn’t discuss it with make relatives in front of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not their business. Did you guys talk about your sons wet dream?

To state the incredibly, incredibly obvious, these are not the same thing.

Both are signs of puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little torn on not telling the dad. I'm all for privacy, but also this is a medical thing that they dad should know. IMO, it's not the same as a wet dream.

yes it is. it’d not a “medical thing” - it’s a bodily fluid emission just like any other. no need to treat it any differently unless it becomes a medical issue, like anemia.

I've never seen a health form that asked about a wet dream, but many do ask about menstruation.

Well, read between the lines, so many moms asking about why their sons are still wetting the bed in teen years. Mom - it’s not Pee!

[Anonymous]

Girls these days are so much less embarrassed about these things. And thank god! Why should anyone be?

My mom asked if she could tell my dad, and he did. He congratulated me and was cutely excited, lol. It seemed like a bigger deal to him than my mom which is funny in hindsight.

Don’t make it a big deal. Say it like you’d say someone is getting their appendix removed. It’s just a normal bodily thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

What kind of man who has fathered a daughter couldn’t figure this out? Your dad wasn’t very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls these days are so much less embarrassed about these things. And thank god! Why should anyone be?

My mom asked if she could tell my dad, and he did. He congratulated me and was cutely excited, lol. It seemed like a bigger deal to him than my mom which is funny in hindsight.

Don’t make it a big deal. Say it like you’d say someone is getting their appendix removed. It’s just a normal bodily thing.

Some girls might be embarassed. But it seems the OP wants to know what she should be doing or who she should be telling. The point is it depends on what the daughter wants to do and how she wants to handle and how open she wants to be. So the only thing to do is ask her daughter how she wants to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

What kind of man who has fathered a daughter couldn’t figure this out? Your dad wasn’t very smart.

What's your point? Blood in the toilet is either period blood or something indicative of illness. As a mom if you see blood in the toilet would you ignore it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

What kind of man who has fathered a daughter couldn’t figure this out? Your dad wasn’t very smart.

What's your point? Blood in the toilet is either period blood or something indicative of illness. As a mom if you see blood in the toilet would you ignore it?

I’ve been in to many women’s restrooms and seen blood or remnants of blood in the toilet. I know exactly why its there. Don’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

What kind of man who has fathered a daughter couldn’t figure this out? Your dad wasn’t very smart.

What's your point? Blood in the toilet is either period blood or something indicative of illness. As a mom if you see blood in the toilet would you ignore it?

I’ve been in to many women’s restrooms and seen blood or remnants of blood in the toilet. I know exactly why its there. Don’t you?

Actually you don’t know why it’s there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

What kind of man who has fathered a daughter couldn’t figure this out? Your dad wasn’t very smart.

What's your point? Blood in the toilet is either period blood or something indicative of illness. As a mom if you see blood in the toilet would you ignore it?

I’ve been in to many women’s restrooms and seen blood or remnants of blood in the toilet. I know exactly why its there. Don’t you?

Actually you don’t know why it’s there

Yes I’m sure loads of women are walking around with hemorrhoids and colon cancer and not the much more obvious reason. Especially young girls. Think horses, not zebras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't know. He saw blood in the toilet once and thought I was severely ill. If I had a daughter I'd tell her dad. No need to wait for him to discover it in some embarrassing way on his own.

It's not a daughter's obligation for her body to be a biology lesson for her father. A grown man should be able to figure this out on his own. If he's doing embarrassing things when he sees blood in a toilet in a house with women it's because he's an embarrassment of an adult male.

Right. But dads home alone with young daughter and sees blood in the toilet but doesn't know she's started her period... what should he do? If my dad had known I'd been menstruating for a year, maybe he wouldnt have said anything about it. Instead, he had no idea I'd started my period already and questioned me as though I was very ill, which really embarrassed me because then I had to be the one to tell him. The alternative would be to get ahead of the situation and tell your child's FATHER hey, your daughter started her period. So when issues arise, he's aware and prepared.

Yeah, a first period shouldn’t be something you keep from the other parent. It is in no way comparable to male signs of puberty bc it often doers have medical implications for girls. The cramps, they need meds, they may ask to stay home from school, they may call you from school wanting to go home, they may not want to go to sports practice at times- it’s all relevant why and Dad should be aware. Plus mom isn’t always there. Maybe she has a work trip, is gone from the weekend, etc. Telling the father- the other parent, does not mean you think it’s fine to share with siblings, uncles, etc.