First period - how do you handle it with male members of family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please normalize this and make sure your sons know what is going on. More men need to learn about and understand menstruation. This will help them if they are in a relationship with a woman in the future.

No the sons don’t need to know. Weirdos.

You don't have brothers. They will find out anyway.

I have 2 brothers. Never ever have I discussed it. Was never at all necessary. What a strange assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never talked about it with my husband. I’m sure he realized that at some point it would happen and that I’d deal with it.

Why should 100% of it fall on the mom? Thats very sexist.

What girl wants to discuss her period with her dad? He has zero experience because it is about sex.

My DD? I mean she doesn’t particularly want to discuss her period I don’t think, but “can you grab me some pads - I am out” or “my cramps are really bad - would you rub my back” is addressed to whichever parent is nearby at the time.

Buying pads is so burdensome? Feels like you are trying too hard to make sure you bean count fairly.

What? Where did you get burdensome from? My DD asks whichever parent is around to get her stuff she needs, to include period supplies. Your comment makes no sense

Then 100% of what is falling on mom? What is so onerous about this that it must be shared?

I honestly don’t know what you are trying to say. Some poster asked what girl wants to discuss her period with her father. I said my DD because she turns to whoever is around when she needs help. Like wanting period supplies (or pencils or whatever). My DD would never consider not telling her dad that her period had started just like she would never keep that info from me.

Read what you’re responding to. This isn’t hard.

“Why should 100% of it fall on the mom? Thats very sexist.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please normalize this and make sure your sons know what is going on. More men need to learn about and understand menstruation. This will help them if they are in a relationship with a woman in the future.

No the sons don’t need to know. Weirdos.

You don't have brothers. They will find out anyway.

I have 2 brothers. Never ever have I discussed it. Was never at all necessary. What a strange assumption.

+1. I’ve made it to age 42 without ever discussing it with my brothers. I also didn’t discuss with them if/when I needed to start wearing a bra. Unlike some other families, I didn’t believe every natural process needed to be shared. Come to think of it, I didn’t breastfeed in front of them either, even though it’s “natural,” “there’s no shame in it,” or “they needed to know so they’d understand women.” I guess I’m a prude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DD got it a few months after turning 11. She didn't tell DW and DW just noticed a week or two later when doing laundry and found her period underwear in there (DW bought it and other supplies in advance and explained to her), then DW asked and DD confirmed. DD is quite private.

DW mentioned it to me. I'd really like to bring it up with DD, but since she didn't tell me, I'm not going to. She's still just a child to me -- when we're out in a crowd she'll reach out to hold my hand. She's not interested in make-up or fancy dresses, and still plays dolls with her younger sister. This is new territory for all of us.

Why do you want to bring it up to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange post

It is a very strange thread.

I'm the op and I think it's quite eye opening and helpful to those of us dealing with this. There is no one clear answer, which is helpful to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please normalize this and make sure your sons know what is going on. More men need to learn about and understand menstruation. This will help them if they are in a relationship with a woman in the future.

+1
I’m astounded that some posters want to perpetuate this weird shame cycle because it’s what they went through. I was shamed as a child and learned menstruation was something to hide and to be teased about. I stopped that with my kids and stress it’s a part of life so we are aware of what each other is experiencing. It’s not a big deal unless we make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please normalize this and make sure your sons know what is going on. More men need to learn about and understand menstruation. This will help them if they are in a relationship with a woman in the future.

No the sons don’t need to know. Weirdos.

You don't have brothers. They will find out anyway.

I have 2 brothers. Never ever have I discussed it. Was never at all necessary. What a strange assumption.

+1. I’ve made it to age 42 without ever discussing it with my brothers. I also didn’t discuss with them if/when I needed to start wearing a bra. Unlike some other families, I didn’t believe every natural process needed to be shared. Come to think of it, I didn’t breastfeed in front of them either, even though it’s “natural,” “there’s no shame in it,” or “they needed to know so they’d understand women.” I guess I’m a prude.

My husband grew up with one brother, no sisters. He has no problem dealing with or knowing about anything period related. But, I buy my own supplies because I know what I like or prefer and it’s just easier than getting a phone call from the store as he peruses all the options to find the “right” one. Similarly, he buys his own underpants and toiletries and does his own laundry since that’s his business. Every task doesn’t need to involve everyone. What problem are people pretending to solve here by having a family meeting to announce a young girl’s first period?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd got her period for the first time. Handling it well. Did you tell their dad, male siblings. Do you discuss period out in the open? I grew up in a conservative household with this stuff so wondering what others do.

I told him on the DL so he knew. But he said nothing to DC.

She sort of brought it up when she was ready. Now he buys her what she needs, if he's out at the store and we talk about it openly.

[Anonymous]

We just don't really discuss bodily fluids in our family unless there is a health need.

[Anonymous]

It's a celebration in our community. Google "half saree" celebration. Your kid is healthy and that is a great blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a celebration in our community. Google "half saree" celebration. Your kid is healthy and that is a great blessing.

It is celebrated on the scale of a mini-wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never talked about it with my husband. I’m sure he realized that at some point it would happen and that I’d deal with it.

Why should 100% of it fall on the mom? Thats very sexist.

What girl wants to discuss her period with her dad? He has zero experience because it is about sex.

My DD? I mean she doesn’t particularly want to discuss her period I don’t think, but “can you grab me some pads - I am out” or “my cramps are really bad - would you rub my back” is addressed to whichever parent is nearby at the time.

Buying pads is so burdensome? Feels like you are trying too hard to make sure you bean count fairly.

What? Where did you get burdensome from? My DD asks whichever parent is around to get her stuff she needs, to include period supplies. Your comment makes no sense

Then 100% of what is falling on mom? What is so onerous about this that it must be shared?

I honestly don’t know what you are trying to say. Some poster asked what girl wants to discuss her period with her father. I said my DD because she turns to whoever is around when she needs help. Like wanting period supplies (or pencils or whatever). My DD would never consider not telling her dad that her period had started just like she would never keep that info from me.

So that's your DD's relationship with her dad. OP's daughter asked not to tell her father. That's their relationship. Not all dads are great. Some are a-holes. If DD doesn't want to tell her dad, then mom shouldn't tell him. It's DD's personal information.

I can promise you my father would never ever bought period supplies for me, nor has he ever filled out a camp or medical form for any of his kids. He's not that kind of dad.

[Anonymous]

I immediately told my husband. I don’t know how my older son (dd’s older brother) learned of it but it was never a secret in our house. DD gets really bad cramps and the men know to get her tea or a couple of advil.

When I was growing up getting your period was a secret and almost shameful. I never wanted my daughter to feel the same about herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had sort of a "period party" where we celebrated her transition from girl to young woman with a lot of pomp and flair. We thought it was important to recognize the event with a grand celebration.

You forgot sarcasm tags.

[Anonymous]

We discuss these things openly. Indeed, my son knows all about it because I told him when he was little, and he's seen my pads in the bathroom. He's seen me having miscarriages too. All this is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. My husband is the sort of person who goes to buy me pads and phones me loudly from the aisle to ask "SO DID YOU WANT THE EXTRA LONG OR THE WINGS?".