Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are rarely at a good time of day for children. Who really wants to chase their 3 year old at the cocktail hour and then, wait until 8 PM to be served dinner.

We have multiple people on this thread whose teenagers were excluded. The majority of children aren’t 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t most weddings mostly childfree? The only weddings my children have been invited to are family ones. I can’t remember a wedding where everyone’s children were invited. I am almost 60.

I’m 44 and remember going to several weddings. However they were down-home church weddings with casual receptions.

I think that as the cost of catering and food went up the less children are invited. And now you have parents who don’t parent and feral kids.

However it’s rude and selfish of the bride and groom to not invite the flower girls from up thread. That is not normal and the PP should decline for her kids to be used as instagram props for a bridezilla.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never understood no kids at weddings, especially the weddings where kids are included in the wedding party but then no one else can bring kids (or the pp whose kids aren’t invited to the ceremony! WTF!). Just don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we are not planning a child free wedding but I expect that the parents will look after them and remove them if they are too destructive.

Your in for a surprise!

Do you mean “you’re”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t most weddings mostly childfree? The only weddings my children have been invited to are family ones. I can’t remember a wedding where everyone’s children were invited. I am almost 60.

I’m 44 and remember going to several weddings. However they were down-home church weddings with casual receptions.

I think that as the cost of catering and food went up the less children are invited. And now you have parents who don’t parent and feral kids.

However it’s rude and selfish of the bride and groom to not invite the flower girls from up thread. That is not normal and the PP should decline for her kids to be used as instagram props for a bridezilla.

+1. As a child I went to all of my relatives’ weddings and many family friend weddings. Kids were all over the place . I would say they were fairly normal weddings but not super formal or expensive.

My own kids have never been to a wedding, but we just haven’t been able to travel to the few weddings that we were invited to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I’ve never been invited to that many child-free weddings. Honestly, OP, the bolded makes me wonder if one of your children is difficult. What do all of these child-free weddings have in common? Your kids. Any other connections that these weddings in common? Maybe an adult who can’t handle noise, or a different child who’s obnoxious? Maybe these are all friends who attended this one amazing child-free wedding and are copying the experience? Are they all strapped for cash and this is a way to cut corners? Look for the common thread. That will tell you the answer.

My one kid is gifted and going to TJ the other is probably about as calm as you can get, so no behavior issues. There is a pedophile (convicted) in the family that is a cousin and possibly causing all of this

You had to work in the gifted/TJ part, didn’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are almost all grown now and I haven’t been to a wedding in some time but I would simply say no. If it’s a really important occasion for you (a close family member or best friend) and you can’t leave your child due to distance or nursing, I would ask the bride if the venue has an extra room where a babysitter can stay with your child throughout but you are able to check in. We had this arrangement at a family members wedding and it worked out well. If it ends up not being an option, the couple will at least know you tried to make it work and then you don’t need to feel at all guilty for not going. But for a standard wedding, no is absolutely fine.

We were invited to our nephews wedding last year but my 15 yo was not. If it had been local I would have had no issue but I wasn’t leaving my 15 yo home alone DH went without me. I didn’t feel at all guilty. My sense is couples know some people won’t make it when they elect to have a kid free wedding.

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Tell them that flower girls services are 10,000 a piece. Or an invitation to it all.

[Anonymous]

The kids who are in the wedding should absolutely be invited to the reception!

My adult dd had a no-kids wedding (she and dh are young adults and their friend group doesn't really have kids yet) but had my youngest dd flower girl (her full sister), the co flower girl and the ring bearer at the reception. She never considered not having them.

I did actually have kids at my own wedding and liked that, but I can see how it's not for everyone. I also didn't have a problem declining an invitation that was no kids, if I could not figure out a good way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never understood no kids at weddings, especially the weddings where kids are included in the wedding party but then no one else can bring kids (or the pp whose kids aren’t invited to the ceremony! WTF!). Just don’t get it.

It's cultural. I've only been to one wedding that included kids and didn't attend a wedding myself until my 20s when friends started getting married. I have kids bur greatly prefer child free weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never understood no kids at weddings, especially the weddings where kids are included in the wedding party but then no one else can bring kids (or the pp whose kids aren’t invited to the ceremony! WTF!). Just don’t get it.

Noise. disruption. ruined videos. My sister married into the Mormon faith and was tired of events being ruined by screaming children so her invite said "no children undef 12 please". It was a gorgeous weddkng with lovely country club dinner after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think more people are having child free weddings because parents aren’t parenting kids. Kids are wild and parents think it’s just so cute, but it’s not.

—parent and teacher

As a kid that was so fun! We always free ranged at big parties and looked out for one another. It was awesome. We laughed at the grown ups, danced, hid under tables calling it a clubhouse. Different times.

Charming. Crashing into adult legs while playing tag under the tables and being obnoxious running around. This is why people don't want kids at their receptions. And the type of people who desperately want their kids there are the least likely to adequately supervise. They are just too cheap and too enmeshed to hire sitters. The bride and groom know exactly what they are doing planning for these child free weddings, they expect certain people to decline, it's all part of the headcount plan.

[Anonymous]

Many of the weddings I’ve been to have included *some* kids - usually +/- 5 nieces/nephews but not kids of friends or cousins. I feel like this is a reasonable compromise.

[Anonymous]

Divide. You and DH go separately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are almost all grown now and I haven’t been to a wedding in some time but I would simply say no. If it’s a really important occasion for you (a close family member or best friend) and you can’t leave your child due to distance or nursing, I would ask the bride if the venue has an extra room where a babysitter can stay with your child throughout but you are able to check in. We had this arrangement at a family members wedding and it worked out well. If it ends up not being an option, the couple will at least know you tried to make it work and then you don’t need to feel at all guilty for not going. But for a standard wedding, no is absolutely fine.

We were invited to our nephews wedding last year but my 15 yo was not. If it had been local I would have had no issue but I wasn’t leaving my 15 yo home alone DH went without me. I didn’t feel at all guilty. My sense is couples know some people won’t make it when they elect to have a kid free wedding.

Yikes.

Most parents won’t leave 15 year olds home overnight.