Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

[Anonymous]

So don’t go, and don’t get so worked up over it. RSVP “no, with regrets,” literally a checkbox on a card.

You’re OK, OP. You are fine. Deep breaths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

No, they don’t realize “how impossible it is” becuase you are dumb enough to twist yourself into a pretzel to make it possible. Simply say no and don’t go. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are entitled to have the kind of wedding they want, OP. Just decline, nbd.

I think that there may be a little too much entitlement going on with these spoiled brides today. Weddings are about friends and family too. If they weren’t, more people would just go to the courthouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't go, then. Would you rather have been not invited?

I'm this poster. Wow, so you would have been rather not invited. You sound like a miserable person.

NP- well sure. It's a no-go from the start, but now they have the invite and have to send regrets AND a gift. My preference would be no invite as well.

[Anonymous]

Probably boring anyway. I skip childfree weddings unless local.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

So the couple get the cute shot of the flower girls walking down the aisle and then their services are no longer needed.

Your friends are terrible people.

This is insanity. I would not participate in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am fine with people having child free weddings. I also assume this means they’re fine with a higher no-RSVP rate for people who can’t manage a weekend away from kids. It’ll be fine if you RSVP no.

This. I assume people who have child free weddings want a lot of “no” responses, especially from people who don’t live locally.

[Anonymous]

I understand not having a ton of kids but kids of close family should absolutely be invited. In a couple years they will expect you to throw a baby shower and for their new little snowflake to be invited everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't go, then. Would you rather have been not invited?

I'm this poster. Wow, so you would have been rather not invited. You sound like a miserable person.

NP- well sure. It's a no-go from the start, but now they have the invite and have to send regrets AND a gift. My preference would be no invite as well.

NP. No, no one “has to” send a gift. You aren’t very well-versed in etiquette, are you? If you were, you would know that gifts are not required, and that the couple getting married has no right to “expect” a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're blessed to have an excuse not to go.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

Seriously. This is awful. It's like the bride/groom don't realize children are actually people too, just there for a pretty picture. I would bow out of this wedding.

I think it's totally reasonable to have a child-free wedding (although not at all the norm in my family - weddings are for the families, the whole family) but if you do you 1) have to include any children participating in the actual wedding in all the other events and 2) not get mad at people not coming because they have childcare issues.

[Anonymous]

we had a child free wedding, and hired babysitters to watch the kids for the duration of the wedding and reception because we knew folks were coming out of their way to come to our wedding and some entire families were coming. i don't think its fair to have a child free wedding without offering a support - especially if folks are traveling - at least with the baby sitter set up families can spend their mornings together, do some sort of pre-date night routine, etc.

personally, looking back, i would have loved to have had the kids there (growing up all the weddings were come one come all -but may be an ethnicity thing - weddings are family events, and we want families to be there) but it was a numbers issue - we just didn't have the funds to pay for all the kids to have a seat at the time and babysitters were our compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand not having a ton of kids but kids of close family should absolutely be invited. In a couple years they will expect you to throw a baby shower and for their new little snowflake to be invited everywhere.

Agreed. My DD was so hurt when she wasn’t invited to her aunt’s wedding. My desire to celebrate every little thing for this married couple has plummeted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think more people are having child free weddings because parents aren’t parenting kids. Kids are wild and parents think it’s just so cute, but it’s not.

—parent and teacher

As a kid that was so fun! We always free ranged at big parties and looked out for one another. It was awesome. We laughed at the grown ups, danced, hid under tables calling it a clubhouse. Different times.