Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite way to do this is to split parents. The parent who is related to the couple or knows them best goes, and the parent who doesn’t stays home with the kids. It’s great to have a solo night, it makes travel much easier and cheaper, and a wedding is a great place to go stag. You probably already know people and if not, you can always make friends at a wedding. We do this even if our kids are invited. I don’t want to wrangle my kids at a wedding unless I really have to.

I love getting away to a quick solo wedding, and so does my spouse. Try it!

Yes! We are seeing this more and more. It makes so much more sense than airfares for a family of 5, with the kids skipping school for a parent's cousin's wedding the kids barely know.

Also feel free to say no to a wedding. We had to, eventually, at the height of weddings for our cohort. It got to be too much with taking up all our travel budget and leave time, and having to forego other fun longer trips, to dash from a wedding in a random city for the weekend, without even getting travel deals, chaotic.

I think, for us, the disappointing part is that there isn't one family wedding we can go to because of this. So I don't mind skipping all or most but we don't get to see family even once because they all are not allowing kids.

I totally get the one wedding where the best man is a pedophile (no joke) but the rest it just sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I’ve never been invited to that many child-free weddings. Honestly, OP, the bolded makes me wonder if one of your children is difficult. What do all of these child-free weddings have in common? Your kids. Any other connections that these weddings in common? Maybe an adult who can’t handle noise, or a different child who’s obnoxious? Maybe these are all friends who attended this one amazing child-free wedding and are copying the experience? Are they all strapped for cash and this is a way to cut corners? Look for the common thread. That will tell you the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I’ve never been invited to that many child-free weddings. Honestly, OP, the bolded makes me wonder if one of your children is difficult. What do all of these child-free weddings have in common? Your kids. Any other connections that these weddings in common? Maybe an adult who can’t handle noise, or a different child who’s obnoxious? Maybe these are all friends who attended this one amazing child-free wedding and are copying the experience? Are they all strapped for cash and this is a way to cut corners? Look for the common thread. That will tell you the answer.

My one kid is gifted and going to TJ the other is probably about as calm as you can get, so no behavior issues. There is a pedophile (convicted) in the family that is a cousin and possibly causing all of this

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. My kids (old elementary and tweens and teens!) were not invited to a few family weddings and it stung. Because it was a family wedding, I wanted to go but felt kind of hurt that the bride and groom- late twenties/early thirties- would be so offended at the sight of my kids. It left a bad taste and I hated telling my kids- sorry, cousin X doesn’t want you around. These weddings took place in a fxing barn, btw- outside at a farm. Line dancing. With fireworks after. Totally casual locations that would have accommodated kids just fine. I felt hurt and feel more distant from this part of my family as a result. Definitely did not rush to send baby gifts when these people started having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

We have family members who did the same thing. I think I posted about it on here years back. They wanted our children in the wedding party and rehearsal but didn't want them at the reception or rehearsal dinner. I was also in the wedding party. They didn't tell us our kids weren't invited to the reception until after we'd paid for my dress and alterations, kids' outfits, etc and also offered no help with arranging childcare.

I am fine with child-free weddings and receptions but if you want kids to be in your wedding, you need to either allow them to attend the reception or hire a babysitting service.

Anyway, OP, if I were in your situation I would just not go.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t most weddings mostly childfree? The only weddings my children have been invited to are family ones. I can’t remember a wedding where everyone’s children were invited. I am almost 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gives me a great reason not to attend. Weddings blow anyways

Correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I’ve never been invited to that many child-free weddings. Honestly, OP, the bolded makes me wonder if one of your children is difficult. What do all of these child-free weddings have in common? Your kids. Any other connections that these weddings in common? Maybe an adult who can’t handle noise, or a different child who’s obnoxious? Maybe these are all friends who attended this one amazing child-free wedding and are copying the experience? Are they all strapped for cash and this is a way to cut corners? Look for the common thread. That will tell you the answer.

My one kid is gifted and going to TJ the other is probably about as calm as you can get, so no behavior issues. There is a pedophile (convicted) in the family that is a cousin and possibly causing all of this

Gee, ya think?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I’ve never been invited to that many child-free weddings. Honestly, OP, the bolded makes me wonder if one of your children is difficult. What do all of these child-free weddings have in common? Your kids. Any other connections that these weddings in common? Maybe an adult who can’t handle noise, or a different child who’s obnoxious? Maybe these are all friends who attended this one amazing child-free wedding and are copying the experience? Are they all strapped for cash and this is a way to cut corners? Look for the common thread. That will tell you the answer.

My one kid is gifted and going to TJ the other is probably about as calm as you can get, so no behavior issues. There is a pedophile (convicted) in the family that is a cousin and possibly causing all of this

Gee, ya think?!

Honestly I don't know why anyone would invite a pedophile over the kids in the family, but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

It’s an invitation not a summons. Just say no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the weddings I go to a child-free and it is much preferable.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we are not planning a child free wedding but I expect that the parents will look after them and remove them if they are too destructive.

Your in for a surprise!

[Anonymous]

"no kids" has become such a tell. This is the signal for someone's bridezilla fantasy, and should be taken as a warning. It's not about getting married, it's about having a wedding. Eww.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

Don't go.

[Anonymous]

Weddings are rarely at a good time of day for children. Who really wants to chase their 3 year old at the cocktail hour and then, wait until 8 PM to be served dinner.