Anyone else have zero ‘free time’?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it gets easier, single parent since the kids were just starting middle school and high school, work full time, volunteer tons of hours and still have time to binge watch every show I want to see.

Does your ex have the kids half the time?

Not trying to be a B, but I had a friend who was a single mom with 50/50 custody who couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get away for a weekend when DH was in a prolonged hospitalization, I was working FT and supporting our family (and my nanny and housekeeper’s families), and I had four kids at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it gets easier, single parent since the kids were just starting middle school and high school, work full time, volunteer tons of hours and still have time to binge watch every show I want to see.

Does your ex have the kids half the time?

Not trying to be a B, but I had a friend who was a single mom with 50/50 custody who couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get away for a weekend when DH was in a prolonged hospitalization, I was working FT and supporting our family (and my nanny and housekeeper’s families), and I had four kids at home.

Initially, but that trailed off, now they're here full time. Although they are old enough to mostly take care of themselves. It's almost like having roommates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is choice I guess. I really want to go to the gym and Dh encourages me. But I cannot go when the house is a disaster, dishes everywhere and laundry that needs done. Dh doesn’t see why I can’t just stop doing it.

I feel like my “free time” comes at the expense of other things. Yes I can make time for friends, but it might mean I can’t get dinner done or my work done at night. I can only shuffle all my chores a little. And if I hit the easy button too much, my whole life basically implodes under the weight of chores I didn’t complete.

So...have your husband make dinner...

Does your husband ever get to have you make dinner?

I can decide whether or not to make dinner. I can’t force DH to do it.

He sure does. The other day he had a call with a client in Asia that was going long. It was his night to be making dinner but he texted and asked if I could do it instead. I said yes. See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is choice I guess. I really want to go to the gym and Dh encourages me. But I cannot go when the house is a disaster, dishes everywhere and laundry that needs done. Dh doesn’t see why I can’t just stop doing it.

I feel like my “free time” comes at the expense of other things. Yes I can make time for friends, but it might mean I can’t get dinner done or my work done at night. I can only shuffle all my chores a little. And if I hit the easy button too much, my whole life basically implodes under the weight of chores I didn’t complete.

So...have your husband make dinner...

Does your husband ever get to have you make dinner?

I can decide whether or not to make dinner. I can’t force DH to do it.

He sure does. The other day he had a call with a client in Asia that was going long. It was his night to be making dinner but he texted and asked if I could do it instead. I said yes. See how that works?

Obviously different peoples households run differently. How do you suddenly have time to make dinner at the last minute? What are you usually doing on his nights to make dinner? Just sitting around? Did you cancel your stuff?

[Anonymous]

Lol if you have kids and don't have the groceries stocked to be able to make a quick dinner the kids will eat that's relatively well balanced nutritionally in less than 20 minutes you're doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol if you have kids and don't have the groceries stocked to be able to make a quick dinner the kids will eat that's relatively well balanced nutritionally in less than 20 minutes you're doing something wrong.

I mean, that’s fine. But if it’s his night to get the kids and get dinner on the table, and he just called you and said he couldn’t, didn’t that cause an issue for you? You just weren’t doing anything at all and had no plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am either working, parenting or doing admin relating to life and parenting at the moment at pretty much all times of day and night except when sleeping. Is this normal? I don’t remember my parents having as much to do as this.

I would like to ‘rise up’ in some way but not sure to whom exactly I would be protesting 😂

Join the club you're just like every parent except most of us see no point in complaining as we know that it all evens out as children get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is choice I guess. I really want to go to the gym and Dh encourages me. But I cannot go when the house is a disaster, dishes everywhere and laundry that needs done. Dh doesn’t see why I can’t just stop doing it.

I feel like my “free time” comes at the expense of other things. Yes I can make time for friends, but it might mean I can’t get dinner done or my work done at night. I can only shuffle all my chores a little. And if I hit the easy button too much, my whole life basically implodes under the weight of chores I didn’t complete.

So...have your husband make dinner...

Does your husband ever get to have you make dinner?

I can decide whether or not to make dinner. I can’t force DH to do it.

He sure does. The other day he had a call with a client in Asia that was going long. It was his night to be making dinner but he texted and asked if I could do it instead. I said yes. See how that works?

Obviously different peoples households run differently. How do you suddenly have time to make dinner at the last minute? What are you usually doing on his nights to make dinner? Just sitting around? Did you cancel your stuff?

Simmer down. I was finishing up work stuff at the time, which I then did after dinner. Not a big deal. You sound like you're wound pretty tight so no wonder you don't have any free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol if you have kids and don't have the groceries stocked to be able to make a quick dinner the kids will eat that's relatively well balanced nutritionally in less than 20 minutes you're doing something wrong.

I mean, that’s fine. But if it’s his night to get the kids and get dinner on the table, and he just called you and said he couldn’t, didn’t that cause an issue for you? You just weren’t doing anything at all and had no plans?

Well I guess I could sit there and be pissed. To be honest I'm much happier going through the day as if my spouse were not even going to participate (as if I were divorced).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is choice I guess. I really want to go to the gym and Dh encourages me. But I cannot go when the house is a disaster, dishes everywhere and laundry that needs done. Dh doesn’t see why I can’t just stop doing it.

I feel like my “free time” comes at the expense of other things. Yes I can make time for friends, but it might mean I can’t get dinner done or my work done at night. I can only shuffle all my chores a little. And if I hit the easy button too much, my whole life basically implodes under the weight of chores I didn’t complete.

So...have your husband make dinner...

Does your husband ever get to have you make dinner?

I can decide whether or not to make dinner. I can’t force DH to do it.

He sure does. The other day he had a call with a client in Asia that was going long. It was his night to be making dinner but he texted and asked if I could do it instead. I said yes. See how that works?

Obviously different peoples households run differently. How do you suddenly have time to make dinner at the last minute? What are you usually doing on his nights to make dinner? Just sitting around? Did you cancel your stuff?

Simmer down. I was finishing up work stuff at the time, which I then did after dinner. Not a big deal. You sound like you're wound pretty tight so no wonder you don't have any free time.

+1. I’m the wife and breadwinner. Sometimes you just need to do the task and get on with it. Take out the negative emotional energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of it is choice I guess. I really want to go to the gym and Dh encourages me. But I cannot go when the house is a disaster, dishes everywhere and laundry that needs done. Dh doesn’t see why I can’t just stop doing it.

I feel like my “free time” comes at the expense of other things. Yes I can make time for friends, but it might mean I can’t get dinner done or my work done at night. I can only shuffle all my chores a little. And if I hit the easy button too much, my whole life basically implodes under the weight of chores I didn’t complete.

So...have your husband make dinner...

Does your husband ever get to have you make dinner?

I can decide whether or not to make dinner. I can’t force DH to do it.

He sure does. The other day he had a call with a client in Asia that was going long. It was his night to be making dinner but he texted and asked if I could do it instead. I said yes. See how that works?

Obviously different peoples households run differently. How do you suddenly have time to make dinner at the last minute? What are you usually doing on his nights to make dinner? Just sitting around? Did you cancel your stuff?

Simmer down. I was finishing up work stuff at the time, which I then did after dinner. Not a big deal. You sound like you're wound pretty tight so no wonder you don't have any free time.

+1. I’m the wife and breadwinner. Sometimes you just need to do the task and get on with it. Take out the negative emotional energy.

It’s not “negative emotional energy.” If she was at home finishing work and it isn’t a big deal to make dinner, then why did she ask him to make dinner at all?
She initially said that she asked him to make dinner because she was making time to see friends. Then it changed to asking him to leave an important call and come home to make dinner for no reason. That’s stupid. Why would that ever be the plan?
And what’s so awful about still seeing your friends and not getting dinner made? Asking your kids to fix themselves something or getting takeout?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it gets easier, single parent since the kids were just starting middle school and high school, work full time, volunteer tons of hours and still have time to binge watch every show I want to see.

Does your ex have the kids half the time?

Not trying to be a B, but I had a friend who was a single mom with 50/50 custody who couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get away for a weekend when DH was in a prolonged hospitalization, I was working FT and supporting our family (and my nanny and housekeeper’s families), and I had four kids at home.

Initially, but that trailed off, now they're here full time. Although they are old enough to mostly take care of themselves. It's almost like having roommates.

Then your kids are only doing activities at school and visit friends within walking distance (or not at all). My kids have music lessons, orchestra, practices, games, meeting up with friends from other neighborhoods and school project meetups. I’m driving them around most evenings till 9pm. Not binging Netflix.

[Anonymous]

I'd say not normal. I have 3 kids (2, 4, and 10), DH and I both work. Most days, I have at least 1 hr of free time to do a thing I love, which is fussing over plants in the back yard. Today, planted two gooseberries.

Part of how I was able to get the time is that 1) DH supports my interest and 2) Because I forced my hand, in a way. Many plants are in containers and will quickly suffer if behind on watering. So it's a must for me to go out and at least spend the time watering, giving me a break at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am either working, parenting or doing admin relating to life and parenting at the moment at pretty much all times of day and night except when sleeping. Is this normal? I don’t remember my parents having as much to do as this.

I would like to ‘rise up’ in some way but not sure to whom exactly I would be protesting 😂

You just wasted your precious free time by posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am either working, parenting or doing admin relating to life and parenting at the moment at pretty much all times of day and night except when sleeping. Is this normal? I don’t remember my parents having as much to do as this.

I would like to ‘rise up’ in some way but not sure to whom exactly I would be protesting 😂

Join the club you're just like every parent except most of us see no point in complaining as we know that it all evens out as children get older.

Except that not every parent does feel like this per the thread