Anyone else have zero ‘free time’?

[Anonymous]

I have limited free time, and admit that much of my "free time" is spent taking care of my family, driving to or watching their activities for example. Its not exactly free time, but it is leisure time, im just spending it doing things i wouldnt do if i didnt have kids, like sitting on the sideline at soccer games or playing in the pool with my kids. Can you start viewing that stuff as your free time? It may help at least psychologically.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are a single parent, your spouse/other parent should be stepping up here. Don't be a mommy martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am either working, parenting or doing admin relating to life and parenting at the moment at pretty much all times of day and night except when sleeping. Is this normal? I don’t remember my parents having as much to do as this.

I would like to ‘rise up’ in some way but not sure to whom exactly I would be protesting 😂

Didn't you post this during your free time?

op - I actually posted this while semi listening to a meeting.
I work at a co where we are billed hourly and judged on our billable utilization. I am in meetings 90% of the day. My kids are in multiple activities (which they love and gets them off ipad). I am on dcum generally when I feel like I might die of boredom during one of our interminable meetings and bc i need advice - clearly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are a single parent, your spouse/other parent should be stepping up here. Don't be a mommy martyr.

he does! he does all the house stuff, tax stuff, he invests our money market accounts and keeps an eye on stocks, he also does pick ups and drop offs and dinners and makes lunches and takes to dr appts. I do all the kidmin and buying of clothes and household stuff and organizing of travel and a lot of the admin around pickups and stuff.
I already say no to huge numbers of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years[b]. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

further explain??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

PP, you are my hero!

Not mine. The laundry I am on board with. But there are very few breakfasts and lunches a an 8yo and 5yo can make for themselves which are not super processed.

Waiting for PP to tell us her kids make their meals out of nothing but raw fruits, veggies and hardboiled eggs…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years[b]. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

further explain??

Hi.

My children started packing their own lunch and making their own breakfast daily in third grade. They also make their own breakfasts in the morning. They started doing their own laundry when they started middle sixth grade or so.

This does require that I do some prep work on the weekends. I grocery shop for ingredients that are easy for them to put together (sandwiches, cut up veggies with pita and hummus etc, grab-and-go fruit, and a side like pretzels or nuts or something). I also will make a batch of "healthy" muffins or a bread, or throw together an egg bake with veggies. My kids assemble and prepare both breakfast and lunch for themselves every morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

PP, you are my hero!

Not mine. The laundry I am on board with. But there are very few breakfasts and lunches a an 8yo and 5yo can make for themselves which are not super processed.

Waiting for PP to tell us her kids make their meals out of nothing but raw fruits, veggies and hardboiled eggs…

Didn’t she say her kids are a teen and a tween (not 8 and 5)?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have much free time. My kids are 5 and 7. I work out of the house with a 45 min - 1 hour commute. My DH is hybrid. I mention this because I think some people who WAH get more free time by doing chore type stuff during work hours when the kids are out of the house. I also volunteer a lot so in a sense I have taken kid stuff on as my hobby. I tend to get time to myself early in the morning or after bedtime but as my kids get older that after bedtime window is closing. I could be way better about taking nights or parts of a weekend to do what I want - this is a good reminder!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

What does the 5 year old make for breakfast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to become a SAHM to get free time back.

Same. I used to feel like I had zero free time. I may have watched some Netflix at 10pm before bed if that counts.

[Anonymous]

That’s my life too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not normal.

You either do a bunch of stuff that is not necessary or are super inefficient.

I mean, this completely depends on the age of the children. I have a 5, 4 and 1 year old. I assure you there isn't a minute of free time in my week.

You have a husband too.

I’m sure you have all 3 at times without his help. He can also have all 3 without your help.

Just pick a time and make that free time.

I use to take Wednesdays after work. I’d just not come home. He’d do dinner/bedtime/rtc.

I’d workout or go for a walk or meet a friend or whatever.

Free time.

Why do you assume I'm a woman or have a husband?

Does it matter either way? Your response makes me think you have no time because you’re obtuse. You waste time, are ineffective and want to be a martyr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am either working, parenting or doing admin relating to life and parenting at the moment at pretty much all times of day and night except when sleeping. Is this normal? I don’t remember my parents having as much to do as this.

I would like to ‘rise up’ in some way but not sure to whom exactly I would be protesting 😂

Didn't you post this during your free time?

op - I actually posted this while semi listening to a meeting.
I work at a co where we are billed hourly and judged on our billable utilization. I am in meetings 90% of the day. My kids are in multiple activities (which they love and gets them off ipad). I am on dcum generally when I feel like I might die of boredom during one of our interminable meetings and bc i need advice - clearly!

You get free time while your kids are in their multiple activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, absolutely the younger your kids are the harder it is.

But second, I haven't felt overwhelmed, almost ever, since my kids were 8 and 5. We are a two working parent household with a teen and a tween.

I think it is about choices. I don't feel the need to do anything if I don't think it is the highest priority for my family. That means that we say no to a lot of stuff- no PTA, only attend meetings and events related school where I truly believe there is information conveyed that impacts my kids and that I need to know (which means almost none). We worked hard to make sure my kids were age-appropriately self-sufficient (not as a way to reduce our workload, but because we think it is good parenting). As a result, I haven't packed a lunch, made breakfast, or done kids laundry in years. We are not involved in homework at all. All four members of the household split "chores" around the house. We have also developed a strong "village"- so carpooling happens easily, which means less driving around.

Ninety percent of the time, I have at least two hours of "free time" every day before I go to sleep at 10:00.

I'm not trying to be smug. My sincere advice is to take a hard look at all the things you do that take up your time and consider what would happen if you just...didn't do it.

What does the 5 year old make for breakfast?

PP here. I never said my five year old made breakfast. I said I haven't been overwhelmed since my youngest was 5.
They started making their own breakfast around 8.