Who Is Most Out Of Bounds Here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand how people think that simply outing the cheater is "destroying a marriage". Are all these people cheaters?

Dave destroyed his own marriage. OPs DH just isn't covering for him anymore.

Exactly. He was covering for him so he was ok with it until.....

Until he insulted his child? Yeah, you want to take the gloves off, OPs DH can do it better.

Don't be a d!ck if you have so much to hide I guess.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course. Dave is responsible for his own actions. And so is the op's DH. He publicly put something out there in a way that was unnecessary.

I can't believe all you people narrowing in on the defense and Dave's actions and not thinking about what they did to Dave's wife and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand how people think that simply outing the cheater is "destroying a marriage". Are all these people cheaters?

Dave destroyed his own marriage. OPs DH just isn't covering for him anymore.

Exactly. He was covering for him so he was ok with it until.....

Until he insulted his child? Yeah, you want to take the gloves off, OPs DH can do it better.

Don't be a d!ck if you have so much to hide I guess.

but why was DH ok hiding it for so long in the first place then? Bros before hoes until but only until you call my daughter fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course. Dave is responsible for his own actions. And so is the op's DH. He publicly put something out there in a way that was unnecessary.

I can't believe all you people narrowing in on the defense and Dave's actions and not thinking about what they did to Dave's wife and family.

Because those actions were already taken. Dave had already cheated. THAT was the issue that blew up the marriage, not the announcement. Dave shouldn’t brag about cheating to his friends and expect his cronies to be complicit in his infidelity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand how people think that simply outing the cheater is "destroying a marriage". Are all these people cheaters?

Dave destroyed his own marriage. OPs DH just isn't covering for him anymore.

Exactly. He was covering for him so he was ok with it until.....

Until he insulted his child? Yeah, you want to take the gloves off, OPs DH can do it better.

Don't be a d!ck if you have so much to hide I guess.

but why was DH ok hiding it for so long in the first place then? Bros before hoes until but only until you call my daughter fat?

That seems like a question for OPs DH, not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

Not when you use social media. If you sign up for that, the entire point of it is to air dirt. It is why Facebook was created after all to slag people publicly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course. Dave is responsible for his own actions. And so is the op's DH. He publicly put something out there in a way that was unnecessary.

I can't believe all you people narrowing in on the defense and Dave's actions and not thinking about what they did to Dave's wife and family.

Because those actions were already taken. Dave had already cheated. THAT was the issue that blew up the marriage, not the announcement. Dave shouldn’t brag about cheating to his friends and expect his cronies to be complicit in his infidelity.

You can't be this dumb. Yes, he cheated but the family was intact before they learned about the cheating. And if DH wanted to communicate that he could have done in private like an adult to minimize the damage to the innocent people in the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

Not when you use social media. If you sign up for that, the entire point of it is to air dirt. It is why Facebook was created after all to slag people publicly.

only low lives like you think that way. Decent people use it in a totally different way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

That guy blew up his own marriage. The wife should be running to get tested for STDS not blaming others.

So not only did she get cheated on but she deserves to be humiliated in front of the whole world for it? You are despicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dave is a horrible person, no doubt about it.

BUT I also despise friends who are ok with covering for their friends when things are good (DH knew about the affair and was ok with not saying a word) but when things go south then all of a sudden they grow a conscience and publically air dirty laundry.

I had an ex who would always bring up stuff I confided in him about when we were fighting. He acted so understanding when we were sharing and being intimate but always used it against me later during an argument.

When you do shitty things the reveal of those shitty things is out of your hands.

How about this. Stop doing shitty things.

When you have morals in the first place, you tell your friend Dave to come clean to his wife at the initial revelation of the information. You don't sit complicit for years until it suits you to go ballistic very publically. There are no heroes in this story. They are both shit people.

Nobody has the responsibility to police all their friends.

If you say a shitty thing privately you might get a shitty response privately, you do it publicly the response is public live with the consequences of YOUR actions.

You make no sense at all. Presumably, DH found out that Dave had an affair privately since they are friends. At that point, he should have told Dave that his behavior is despicable and advised him to deal with his marriage issues. I would perhaps distance myself if I found out my friend was behaving so horribly. But if you choose to be Dave's friend when learning about this information you are silently approving of it and you don't get the moral high ground later when you are wronged by Dave in a completely different situation. So either you completely stay out of it or speak up when initially learning about it.

Dave lobbed a hand grenade right at DH’s family, he Simply lobbed it back.

If you don’t want s**t to blow up in your face, don’t throw a hand grenades.