Irrational jealousy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s okay to leave a 6 year old with a babysitter and have both parents jaunt off to Africa for a week? Sorry but no.

Your kid is 6 and you're complaining about the school year?!?

Also, it's easier to travel when your kids are in school because they're occupied for most of the day. So if they had planned the trip in summer you'd be whining about that.

How would it being in the summer help OP and this trip? It would be easier for caregiver to take care of a child who is in school all day. Also a 6 year old could miss a week of school.

I said I thought summer would be harder but OP is griping about her first grader being in school for some reason...

[Anonymous]

OP here. It's been 7 days and I'm still seething with resentment that my friends had an expensive couples trip in Africa during the school year and somehow my idiot husband not only thought it was okay to go and leave me behind with the kids but also my friends were okay with that. I do not want to be friends with these people any more. I'm done.

Again, is this irrational? I just am so resentful. I've always wanted to go to this place. Why couldn't it have been a priority for our family to go together than going at an odd time and spending so much money on one person staying in a luxury room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's been 7 days and I'm still seething with resentment that my friends had an expensive couples trip in Africa during the school year and somehow my idiot husband not only thought it was okay to go and leave me behind with the kids but also my friends were okay with that. I do not want to be friends with these people any more. I'm done.

Again, is this irrational? I just am so resentful. I've always wanted to go to this place. Why couldn't it have been a priority for our family to go together than going at an odd time and spending so much money on one person staying in a luxury room?

Trust me, they aren't sad the friendship is over. I'm sure they were thrilled you didn't go. Enjoy your pathetically miserable life, you deserve it. No wonder your husband travels so much for work. I wouldn't want to have to be near you either. Try not to ruin your kid too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's been 7 days and I'm still seething with resentment that my friends had an expensive couples trip in Africa during the school year and somehow my idiot husband not only thought it was okay to go and leave me behind with the kids but also my friends were okay with that. I do not want to be friends with these people any more. I'm done.

Again, is this irrational? I just am so resentful. I've always wanted to go to this place. Why couldn't it have been a priority for our family to go together than going at an odd time and spending so much money on one person staying in a luxury room?

Be mad at you husband, sure. Being mad that your friends didn't cater to you is ridiculous. But I doubt they will be heartbroken over you ending the friendship. No one wants to be friends with someone like you.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the real talk. The room was $800/night. Does that make any difference in the calculus of my husband going alone or friends thinking its okay to have a birthday party not aligning with school which not all can attend or that its okay that he attends and not me?

And yes, I agree, I think since the friends were fine with me not attending it's very clear how they feel about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the real talk. The room was $800/night. Does that make any difference in the calculus of my husband going alone or friends thinking its okay to have a birthday party not aligning with school which not all can attend or that its okay that he attends and not me?

And yes, I agree, I think since the friends were fine with me not attending it's very clear how they feel about me.

Would you stop concentrating on the wrong thing? Your issue is your husband and your crappy marriage. Though I think you need to be honest about how much you contribute to the dynamic. And no, it makes no difference. Again your friends DO NOT HAVE TO CATER TO YOU. If the cost was an issue that's a discussion you should have had with your HUSBAND. I don't think I've ever seen such a dense and immature poster on here. And yeah, they didn't want you because you are insufferable. You would have made everyone miserable.

[Anonymous]

It should be telling that no one seems to want you around.

[Anonymous]

OP, perhaps their “good” time didn’t align with yours. If your child is young, you could have made accommodations for school *for a rare once in a lifetime trip to Africa*

Sounds like 5 couples were able to make the timeline happen. It wasn’t about you.

Your resentment should be directed at your husband, if you must be resentful. They didn’t decide for your husband to go alone, or to leave you home, or for your child to not come. These are choices you made for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, perhaps their “good” time didn’t align with yours. If your child is young, you could have made accommodations for school *for a rare once in a lifetime trip to Africa*

Sounds like 5 couples were able to make the timeline happen. It wasn’t about you.

Your resentment should be directed at your husband, if you must be resentful. They didn’t decide for your husband to go alone, or to leave you home, or for your child to not come. These are choices you made for your family.

But her friends should have planned around OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of ours held his 50th birthday abroad. It was couples only. We have all been friends for 20 years. We are the only ones with a young child. My husband went and joined the 5 couples. I stayed back alone to be with the kids. I’m quite resentful of my husband and especially the birthday person. He half-heartedly said I could bring my kid but I know it would be inappropriate and it’s smack in the middle of the school year. Am I just being irrational with jealousy of everybody? Not just my husband?

Yet another example of waiting way too long to have kids leading to social and mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of ours held his 50th birthday abroad. It was couples only. We have all been friends for 20 years. We are the only ones with a young child. My husband went and joined the 5 couples. I stayed back alone to be with the kids. I’m quite resentful of my husband and especially the birthday person. He half-heartedly said I could bring my kid but I know it would be inappropriate and it’s smack in the middle of the school year. Am I just being irrational with jealousy of everybody? Not just my husband?

Yet another example of waiting way too long to have kids leading to social and mental health issues.

Just imagine how much she's screwing up her poor kid. N

[Anonymous]

You need therapy. You are so out of line it's crazy.

Yes, you could have left your 6 year old with a baby sitter to go enjoy this fancy hotel. Why do you keep complaining about this? It's done, and you keep choosing to martyr yourself and it's going to get you divorced with 50% custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need therapy. You are so out of line it's crazy.

Yes, you could have left your 6 year old with a baby sitter to go enjoy this fancy hotel. Why do you keep complaining about this? It's done, and you keep choosing to martyr yourself and it's going to get you divorced with 50% custody.

I think everyone would probably be better off with that. Ops husband and friends can be done with her and her kids can get a break from her.

[Anonymous]

Irrational? No.

I would have more of an issue with the fact that your husband regards parenting as a part time job than anything to do with your child free friends. Don’t be shocked if those friendships fade if you are the only parent in the group. It’s just a matter of people preferring friends who have similar lifestyles. Very common.

[Anonymous]

OP is hilarious. I am in many friend groups. It is almost impossible to find a time for all five of us to meet up and one person doesn’t come. This is for a local meal.

I would say getting multiple couples to go on a big international trip is pretty good. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the birthday man.