Friend bringing kids and dogs on our girls weekend trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

My guess is she doesn't care that much about OP or this "girls trip" and is looking for a subsidized beach trip with her kids that she otherwise couldn't afford.

This is such a mean, sad attitude. Can't we think the best of people? These are close friends.

This is a naive take. A friend that felt really sad about this turn of events would have called their friend to discuss in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would respond and say it sounds like the timing isn't ideal and you're rescheduling.

How to do with non-refundable accommodations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would respond and say it sounds like the timing isn't ideal and you're rescheduling.

How to do with non-refundable accommodations?

OP will probably have to eat the cost or try to re-let the place, maybe at a small loss. I
think it’s good to keep in mind for the future that it’s worth the extra money for refundable accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

My guess is she doesn't care that much about OP or this "girls trip" and is looking for a subsidized beach trip with her kids that she otherwise couldn't afford.

This is such a mean, sad attitude. Can't we think the best of people? These are close friends.

This is a naive take. A friend that felt really sad about this turn of events would have called their friend to discuss in the first place.

She’s probably embarrassed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

My guess is she doesn't care that much about OP or this "girls trip" and is looking for a subsidized beach trip with her kids that she otherwise couldn't afford.

This is such a mean, sad attitude. Can't we think the best of people? These are close friends.

This is a naive take. A friend that felt really sad about this turn of events would have called their friend to discuss in the first place.

Yep. How entitled that the Friend just texts and says: Oops, kid and dog sitter canceled so I'm bringing them all for our Girlfriend Getaway Weekend.
At the very least she should have texted or called to explain the situation.

OP needs to either cancel and send money back (which is what I would do unless it was someone I was incredibly close to and loved dearly, but any of those people in my life would have asked) or tell Friend that she will have to share the one room with all of them and pay the pet deposit.

This has disaster written all over it. OP is going to get stuck with "damages" with 2 rambunctious kids and a dog in a small 2 bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

My guess is she doesn't care that much about OP or this "girls trip" and is looking for a subsidized beach trip with her kids that she otherwise couldn't afford.

This is such a mean, sad attitude. Can't we think the best of people? These are close friends.

This is a naive take. A friend that felt really sad about this turn of events would have called their friend to discuss in the first place.

She’s probably embarrassed

No, an embarrassed person would call or text and ASK. This friend didn't do that. Just stated. That is an entitled person, not an embarrassed person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Is this now the usual relationship between old, close friends? These posts make me so sad. The normal response should be something like... "oh no, i'm so sorry you're stuck with bringing the kids and dog. don't worry, we can still have lots of fun. i'll bring a few more bottles of wine and grab some of the good tequila at liquor store. do you have any air mattresses? if not, i can bring mine. the kids can sleep in the living room. have your kids ever played taco/goat/cheese/pizza? i'll bring a set!"

Yes, it is frustrating and disappointing. But you should make the best of it in support of your good, close friend. Because that is what good, close friends do for one another.

+1 Can't we be forgiving and show some grace to our close friends? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow up. There is no such thing as a girls trip when people have children.

LMAO. I’ve gone on several trips with other moms. It’s called a husband, grandparents, babysitter, etc., to watch the kids. Sorry if you’ve isolated yourself and deluded yourself to the point where you don’t think other moms have freedom, but we do.

And you all are desperate wannabe cougars who will be divorcees.

Sad when you want to bring other women down.

The irony

[Anonymous]

She was very inconsiderate and rude to just presume changing the plans like this would be ok w you. She should not be *telling* you that her plans changed and now she has to bring kids and a dog. She should be explaining that her childcare fell through, asking what you want to do, apologizing for the inconvenience, giving options such as “I understand if you want to ask another friend to go instead.” She should not be just assuming bringing 2 kids and a dog is the only alternative.

I have a lot of sympathy for her situation as a single mom and childcare falling through but this was a situation that called for a conversation, not her just texting you this change of plans without asking for your opinion. I feel like her rudeness would put me off the most. I’d offer to refund her money and ask another friend to go.

[Anonymous]

Who asks a single woman with young kids who can barely afford it to vacation with?

[Anonymous]

The presumption of the friend to think that she and OP should share a room and give the kids an entire room to themselves is what this is making this a 100% no-go.

Here are the choices:
1) Board the dog. No dog. This is a non-starter.
2) Bring an air mattress or two and friend sleeps with the kids, or kids stay in the main room on air mattresses or couch. OP gets her own bedroom. Non-negotiable.
3) Friend buys the lion’s share of food AND cooking. She’s feeding three and OP should not have to subsidize two unplanned-for, un-agreed-upon extra mouths. Nope.

If friend can’t abide by this, then trip’s off. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the kids are 6 and 10 and they are very rambunctious. She also will need to pull the kids out of school for a day since we have the rental Thursday through Mon.

I’d love to go solo and that might be what I will need to do since I already have the money. If I cede it to her, getting her to pay my cost + the pet fee will probably send her over the edge. I also worry about this because it is all on my cc and what if any damage occurs? It’s on me.

I’ve known her since we were in 6th grade. We are mid 40s now.

Ugh, I hate awkward money situations.

Yeah, no way. But so awkward. I feel for you. Let us know how this works out.

[Anonymous]

I only read the first and last page tbh. I'm a mom of two kids myself (5&8). I would be upset as well. How badly does she need this break? Is she really at her breaking point where she is in desperate need of a fun weekend? Since you've known each other basically your entire lives....that changes things.

Is it just you and her or others going as well?

The kids can sleep on an air mattress or bring sleeping bags in her room. She needs to pay the dog fee entirely. I would plan on possibly have some alternative plans at times without her, because she can't go out to bar, ect.

[Anonymous]

All of this should be discussed by phone not text.

I feel for you OP but also feel for the friend especially if she has limited resources and limited sitting options.

Is it possible she felt like she’d be sticking you with the rental/letting you down if she backed out all together?

Decide what you can live with - changing the tone of the trip but having a different kind of fun or buying out her half and finding someone else to go with.

[Anonymous]

I would put my foot down on the dog coming. She can probably get a sitter for the same $150. If you really want to see her you could go Thursday and have a nice night alone and she could come Friday after school with the kids. Not saying what she is doing is great or correct but it could be a way to salvage the trip