4 year old boy won't stop peeing all around the house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has been potty trained for over a year. DH and I have caught in several times in the act. His favorite spot is on the side of a sofa chair but he also pees in other places. Once DH caught him with his pants down in the master bedroom. We have carpets!! He doesn't do this @ school. We are so furious with him and it's expensive to get the carpets shampooed. I have a shampoo cleaner but no energy to keep cleaning the floors. The TV room smells like urine sooo bad. Why why why is this happening It's my birthday today and it just happened ! I am not having anymore kids after this. two and done two and done!! I think I need to repeat this all day so I can keep calm.

Sorry, but this calls for few good swats on his bare bottom and he would lose every privilege and every toy would be put away until he earned them back never, ever again urinating any where but in the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs a pediatric consult, to see if there's anything functionally wrong down there, or in his bloodwork, such as juvenile diabetes. One symptom of juvenile diabetes is frequent urination. Please don't treat this like a behavioral issue until you've got the medical part cleared up!

If he's physically healthy and this is a behavioral, then you'll have to potty-train (timed bathroom visits, consequences for messing up the house, etc), and assess whether there is neurodivergence: kids with severe ADHD or kids on the spectrum sometimes need additional explicit instructions and reminders, or sometimes need accommodations when going to the bathroom: perhaps something is scary in your bathrooms, such as the flush, or they don't like the contact of the seat, or they don't like being in confined space... it could be anything. A neurotypical kid will adapt, but a kid on the spectrum will not be able to do that unless you modify their environment somewhat then accompany them every step of the way.

OP said he did not do this in preschool. He needs a serious consequence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs a pediatric consult, to see if there's anything functionally wrong down there, or in his bloodwork, such as juvenile diabetes. One symptom of juvenile diabetes is frequent urination. Please don't treat this like a behavioral issue until you've got the medical part cleared up!

If he's physically healthy and this is a behavioral, then you'll have to potty-train (timed bathroom visits, consequences for messing up the house, etc), and assess whether there is neurodivergence: kids with severe ADHD or kids on the spectrum sometimes need additional explicit instructions and reminders, or sometimes need accommodations when going to the bathroom: perhaps something is scary in your bathrooms, such as the flush, or they don't like the contact of the seat, or they don't like being in confined space... it could be anything. A neurotypical kid will adapt, but a kid on the spectrum will not be able to do that unless you modify their environment somewhat then accompany them every step of the way.

This makes sense, but why is he not having issues outside the house? He goes to the bathroom several times at school. It's very strange to him that he's fine at school but not at home. We were away for a whole month and he didn't pee all over DHs parents house.

Why did you leave your 4yo for an entire month?

This. Wow. I thought he wasn’t getting enough attention before I even read that.

OP here. We were with him the entire time jeez. He gets plenty of time with us. His dad also works from home 3 days a week. He sees his parents a lot more than I did as a child. Sometimes he will ask me if I have work because he's excited to do dad/ boy stuff with DH and his older brother.

He needs more attention and supervision. Put him in full time day care.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, it sounds like a psychological issue- good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has been potty trained for over a year. DH and I have caught in several times in the act. His favorite spot is on the side of a sofa chair but he also pees in other places. Once DH caught him with his pants down in the master bedroom. We have carpets!! He doesn't do this @ school. We are so furious with him and it's expensive to get the carpets shampooed. I have a shampoo cleaner but no energy to keep cleaning the floors. The TV room smells like urine sooo bad. Why why why is this happening It's my birthday today and it just happened ! I am not having anymore kids after this. two and done two and done!! I think I need to repeat this all day so I can keep calm.

Sorry, but this calls for few good swats on his bare bottom and he would lose every privilege and every toy would be put away until he earned them back never, ever again urinating any where but in the toilet.

No we do not hit children. That is the wrong wrong answer for this.

UGH! NO!

[Anonymous]

I must have missed something. Does dad work nights? Is that why he sleeps during the day?

If not, your husband has a problem. You can't leave a 4 year old alone while you sleep during the day. I'm a napper and afternoons during those years were brutal for me. But I powered through every damn day because I'm a parent. To make matters worse my husband did in fact work nights so his daytime sleep took precedence over mine. But any time my husband needed to be on child duty, he was awake and present.i was a sahm back then.

I think if he works nights then you just cannot work these long weekend shifts. It seems like common sense that one parent needs to be awake during all daylight hours.

My son is now 12, and I'm back to being able to nap on the weekends thank God. You two should be able to figure this out for the next few years.

[Anonymous]

Op, have you set up some behavioral systems? At 4, he can absolutely understand why this isn't acceptable and he can understand a reward system. For every day that he doesn't pee on the floor, he gets a hot wheels. OR every day he pees on the floor, he loses his evening to show. If you've done these things, it's time to visit the doctor.

[Anonymous]

** I meant he loses his evening TV show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has been potty trained for over a year. DH and I have caught in several times in the act. His favorite spot is on the side of a sofa chair but he also pees in other places. Once DH caught him with his pants down in the master bedroom. We have carpets!! He doesn't do this @ school. We are so furious with him and it's expensive to get the carpets shampooed. I have a shampoo cleaner but no energy to keep cleaning the floors. The TV room smells like urine sooo bad. Why why why is this happening It's my birthday today and it just happened ! I am not having anymore kids after this. two and done two and done!! I think I need to repeat this all day so I can keep calm.

Sorry, but this calls for few good swats on his bare bottom and he would lose every privilege and every toy would be put away until he earned them back never, ever again urinating any where but in the toilet.

No we do not hit children. That is the wrong wrong answer for this.

OP here. Lets just say that I know someone who knows someone who may have tried that already and that person may be his dad and myself




UGH! NO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:** I meant he loses his evening TV show.

op. he only watches TV when I am at work, which is 2 days a week. on Saturday, he watches a movie with his older brother and Sunday something. during the week, he isn't allowed to watch TV. He's not allowed in the tv room. we are getting it shampooed on Monday. he did quality for early intervention but not speech. he has a special education therapist and behavior, but we haven't started services yet, and they could care less about the accidents. they say until he's in kinder it's "fine"

[Anonymous]

I know someone asked this before but is he afraid of your bathroom?? Is it like always the same time of day? Or like after something specific?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:** I meant he loses his evening TV show.

op. he only watches TV when I am at work, which is 2 days a week. on Saturday, he watches a movie with his older brother and Sunday something. during the week, he isn't allowed to watch TV. He's not allowed in the tv room. we are getting it shampooed on Monday. he did quality for early intervention but not speech. he has a special education therapist and behavior, but we haven't started services yet, and they could care less about the accidents. they say until he's in kinder it's "fine"

You need to get private services and work on parenting. Your oldest is not an appropriate babysitter.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at dad takes a nap every weekend day and leave the 8 year old to watch the 4 year old. I have a 7 year old and for the majority of his life his dad has worked on at least one weekend day leaving me to parent alone during that time. You know what I do not do, and never have done unless I was seriously ill?? TAKE A NAP. Most adults do not get to take a nap during the day. What is wrong with your husband that he needs a nap every weekend day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

OP here. No. He's in school FT but nice try. As a parent of multiple kids you one would think you would be more empathetic.

sounds very trollish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:** I meant he loses his evening TV show.

op. he only watches TV when I am at work, which is 2 days a week. on Saturday, he watches a movie with his older brother and Sunday something. during the week, he isn't allowed to watch TV. He's not allowed in the tv room. we are getting it shampooed on Monday. he did quality for early intervention but not speech. he has a special education therapist and behavior, but we haven't started services yet, and they could care less about the accidents. they say until he's in kinder it's "fine"

You need to get private services and work on parenting. Your oldest is not an appropriate babysitter.

If we could afford private services, FT daycare, and babysitters, do you really think I would work on the weekends? You realize medical professionals have to work weekends so you can get care, right? Firefighters, police officers, etc., work weekends and nights, and they are allowed to have children. Some parents work opposite schedules for a reason, and in the summertime, it works out well because I can be with the kids during the week instead of summer camps. We have expenses, mortgage, and food costs. Our car, and we only have one, is very old. On this website, people assume everyone posting is rich. The expenses in the US are unbelievable at times. Healthcare is prepaid where we are from. Before we see the doctor we know the price. Before an x-ray, we know the price. Insurance isn't really a thing, either. We are doing our best and making the best decisions for our family. Our child could be in school every day for 8 hours, but our schedule allows us to pick him up at 3 pm.