4 year old boy won't stop peeing all around the house

[Anonymous]

I bet there is something that spooks him about the bathroom (light is off and it’s dark, or a strange sound like a fan ) or he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go pee. Probably the former. Like all things It’s a phase it will pass. Make the consequences strong, try to figure out the cause. Make a thirty minute timer where he’s required to try as you stand outside the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

Unless you're a troll, why on earth are you posting in a mommy forum ??

[Anonymous]

I have worked with kids like this. People behave in certain ways for reasons. If he isn’t doing this at school then you know it is in his control. I would have him see a behavioral therapist with you. While you are waiting for this appointment, I would dress him in clothes that are hard to take off quickly, like overalls with no fly. I would sit him down and explain that since you can’t trust him, he has to stay only in parts of the house with no carpet, like the kitchen, and I’d only let him sit on hard plastic furniture.

You need to seek couples counseling with your husband, and I would bet that this behavior is rooted in your son’s feelings about his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has been potty trained for over a year. DH and I have caught in several times in the act. His favorite spot is on the side of a sofa chair but he also pees in other places. Once DH caught him with his pants down in the master bedroom. We have carpets!! He doesn't do this @ school. We are so furious with him and it's expensive to get the carpets shampooed. I have a shampoo cleaner but no energy to keep cleaning the floors. The TV room smells like urine sooo bad. Why why why is this happening It's my birthday today and it just happened ! I am not having anymore kids after this. two and done two and done!! I think I need to repeat this all day so I can keep calm.

JFC parent your kid and punish him if he does this. He’s four? Wtf is wrong with you and your dh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with kids like this. People behave in certain ways for reasons. If he isn’t doing this at school then you know it is in his control. I would have him see a behavioral therapist with you. While you are waiting for this appointment, I would dress him in clothes that are hard to take off quickly, like overalls with no fly. I would sit him down and explain that since you can’t trust him, he has to stay only in parts of the house with no carpet, like the kitchen, and I’d only let him sit on hard plastic furniture.

You need to seek couples counseling with your husband, and I would bet that this behavior is rooted in your son’s feelings about his parents.

This behavior is rooted in a spoiled child laughing at his parents. It’s that simple stop over diagnosing this! He knows what he’s doing!

[Anonymous]

My dc we’re fully potty trained at two! They didn’t want to wear diapers or pull ups and they knew how to tie their shoes by 2 1/2! This was not that long ago. Op, your parenting sucks! As does your husbands. Maybe spend more time setting the rules and boundaries. Unless my dc was special needs I would never put up with this behavior. But then again my dc are fiercely independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

OP here. No. He's in school FT but nice try. As a parent of multiple kids, you would be more empathetic.

What does school FT mean? Full time? If he’s in school full time, why are you posting for toddlers and preschoolers on the board?

And what does doing school or preschool have to do with screen time or junk food? Are you saying that because your son goes to preschool then he therefore doesn’t get any screen time or junk food? Your post makes no sense.

Those of us who are parenting our children well do not reward them for misbehaving. If you’re doing those things, then stop. If you aren’t, and you’ve completely taken away all junk food and all screen time (and made sure he knows it’s because of the inappropriate peeing) then feel free to post that and we can help you think of other ideas that aren’t so obvious.

OP here. I have no idea why you are so hung up on junk food. We aren't American. Our kids very rarely eat junk food. He does get screen time while DH naps on the weekend. I can't do anything about that if I am working. DH makes me so angry. If we were on the same page then this would get resolved faster. Sometimes I feel like quitting my job to be home and get this resolved. I love my job so I don't want to do that but it's sucks not being able to 100 percent rely on him.

It sounds like DH needs to be the one responsible for cleaning up all the pee since he’s the reason you can’t solve the issue.

And why is he napping at 1pm every weekend?? Does he also do shift work? Or just lazy and irresponsible?

Honestly it sounds like you guys need to change your work schedule or hire a nanny. Someone who will actually raise this boy when the teachers aren’t doing it. His 8 year old brother would benefit too. He might be responsible enough to not burn the house down or pee on couches and beds himself but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to be parented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with kids like this. People behave in certain ways for reasons. If he isn’t doing this at school then you know it is in his control. I would have him see a behavioral therapist with you. While you are waiting for this appointment, I would dress him in clothes that are hard to take off quickly, like overalls with no fly. I would sit him down and explain that since you can’t trust him, he has to stay only in parts of the house with no carpet, like the kitchen, and I’d only let him sit on hard plastic furniture.

You need to seek couples counseling with your husband, and I would bet that this behavior is rooted in your son’s feelings about his parents.

This behavior is rooted in a spoiled child laughing at his parents. It’s that simple stop over diagnosing this! He knows what he’s doing!

Imagine being 4 years old and not spending much time with your parents all week, then finally it’s the weekend and you think yay… but then mom goes to work and dad says he’d rather nap in the middle of the day than actually spend any time with you. I might pee on a couch too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

You won’t feel that way when you’re alone and 80.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, try to assess whether there's stress at school. If there's a bully or a conflict you don't know about, it can make a child regress in their potty-training.

I thought about this, but he seems fine, and he's very verbal. He tells us all kinds of things about school. He even notices stuff about his teacher that most kids may be unable to articulate. For examples there was something his teacher did at circle time when we toured the school i.e. passing around a candle and I asked him if she does that a lot and he said she only does that when new people come He said "when new humans come teacher is different, her is nice and does fun things."

Um - your example of his being advanced verbally includes several oddities - grammatical errors, missing articles, strange word choices. Reads like robot speech. Is this really how he talks? He refers to people as “humans”?

If so, this may indicate neurodiversity. Often folks on the spectrum have odd speech patterns.

I think OP is a troll. Making up the weird speech. Doesn't sound like a four year old to me, even a neurodivergent one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has been potty trained for over a year. DH and I have caught in several times in the act. His favorite spot is on the side of a sofa chair but he also pees in other places. Once DH caught him with his pants down in the master bedroom. We have carpets!! He doesn't do this @ school. We are so furious with him and it's expensive to get the carpets shampooed. I have a shampoo cleaner but no energy to keep cleaning the floors. The TV room smells like urine sooo bad. Why why why is this happening It's my birthday today and it just happened ! I am not having anymore kids after this. two and done two and done!! I think I need to repeat this all day so I can keep calm.

I truly cannot tell if you are talking about a human or a canine.

[Anonymous]

I'm having the same issue with my elderly cat, and I sympathize!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with kids like this. People behave in certain ways for reasons. If he isn’t doing this at school then you know it is in his control. I would have him see a behavioral therapist with you. While you are waiting for this appointment, I would dress him in clothes that are hard to take off quickly, like overalls with no fly. I would sit him down and explain that since you can’t trust him, he has to stay only in parts of the house with no carpet, like the kitchen, and I’d only let him sit on hard plastic furniture.

You need to seek couples counseling with your husband, and I would bet that this behavior is rooted in your son’s feelings about his parents.

This behavior is rooted in a spoiled child laughing at his parents. It’s that simple stop over diagnosing this! He knows what he’s doing!

Imagine being 4 years old and not spending much time with your parents all week, then finally it’s the weekend and you think yay… but then mom goes to work and dad says he’d rather nap in the middle of the day than actually spend any time with you. I might pee on a couch too!

Oh please. Many of us didn’t spend hours of fun time with our parents on the weekends and we didn’t pee on couches.

Op you never mentioned if he gets consequences besides having to clean up. I would implement a time out or have him do a non preferred task. If he can control it at school and grandma’s house then he’s definitely playing you because he CAN.

Kids are smarter than you think. And I don’t buy the line that kids only misbehave when theyre trying to communicate a need.

Sometimes that’s true, yes, but they’re designed to push boundaries and it’s your job to draw and hold those boundaries. If you don’t get this under control he WILL start doing this at school when he smells weakness.

[Anonymous]

I think you mentioned you had recently been away for a month and didn’t have issues at your parents’? Given that he only does this at home, it really sounds like he wants the attention to me. If peeing in weird places is the only way you guys come running it makes sense that he’s going to keep doing that. What happens if you go out of your way to give him positive attention in other ways? Can you set aside some chunk of the week for focusing on kids? Like DH starts the weekend with some kind of treat or let’s the kids choose what he does with them 100% for an hour or so and you pick each kid up early once a week for some 1:1 time with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think my DD would ever be trained. She was 4 when her preschool teacher advised us to make her start cleaning up the mess. It was amazing how quickly things changed after that.

This is my suggestion. Make a cleaning process that he has to do every time. Make it as annoying as possible (even if it accomplishes very little). Cornstarch is good to absirb liquid and then he has to vacuum it up.