DH has two “work wives” and it makes me irrationally crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound nefarious, just like they are nice people.

“Leah” might not have even researched remedies…if she has a kid or her sister has a kid with eczema, it was likely just a “hey this worked for us!” thing. I mean, I share what worked for my kid with other parents if they are struggling.

Normal people chat at work and exchange basic life information. Only on DCUM do you find people who think you should not reveal anything to your coworkers.

Same. I had my kid before my best work friend, who happened to be male, had his, so I would share things I had learned about baby products or whatever. I wasn't trying to insinuate that I wanted to be the mother of his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you feeling about yourself?

dp- how does op’s self image affect her husband not respecting boundaries?

His actions reflect upon him.

What boundary did he not respect?

Whatever boundary that is making his wife uncomfortable? Each marriage has boundaries that protect the marriage. They should have them, anyway.

According to OP he has no idea she is uncomfortable with this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound nefarious, just like they are nice people.

“Leah” might not have even researched remedies…if she has a kid or her sister has a kid with eczema, it was likely just a “hey this worked for us!” thing. I mean, I share what worked for my kid with other parents if they are struggling.

Normal people chat at work and exchange basic life information. Only on DCUM do you find people who think you should not reveal anything to your coworkers.

Same. I had my kid before my best work friend, who happened to be male, had his, so I would share things I had learned about baby products or whatever. I wasn't trying to insinuate that I wanted to be the mother of his children.

I don’t think it’s weird to talk about kids with coworkers at all but I do think it’s possible OP is picking up on an underlying tone. I also think referring to coworkers as “wives” or “husbands” is kind of old fashioned and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

You're angry that he has options. Do better so that those options fade compared to you.

[Anonymous]

I am very close to the men on my team, we travel together, dinners, events, talk about everything in our lives. We are just friends and that’s it, yet the wives always get jealous.

OP, I would ask what is lacking in my life that I feel jealous of these women. In the case of my friends, their wives stay home with kids while their husbands are working hard but also having a lot of fun, so I can understand it.

[Anonymous]

Nothing gets me a boner faster than some water cooler talk about my coworker’s kid’s eczema. Definitely need to be watching out for infidelity on this one!

[Anonymous]

It's weird he is making the comparison but just do it back to him with a couple male coworkers names and see how he reacts. Not to get him jealous, but just to see if he gets suspicious or if he realizes he was being insensitive.

FWIW though we are a straight couple and my DH's work wife is a man and mine is a woman. They just happen to be each other's closest coworkers- not that we necessarily know intimate life details.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is a fool.

I work on a team with a dozen younger women. Some attractive. Some I am closer to, that can be flirty/charming. No overt lines are crossed.

But I never mention their names to my wife. Why raise her antenna and insecurity?

[Anonymous]

Any wife would get irrationally crazy if their husband constantly discussed another woman (or two!) and how great they were.

Your husband is acting like an inconsiderate + insensitive jerk.

Call him out on it & tell him to stop talking about these women.

[Anonymous]

I have a work husband and I guess a work wife? There are three of us who started the same day ten years ago and are very close. We text memes and videos and jokes and are just good, authentic friends. We’ve been known to text in the middle of the night on a weekend or at the crack of dawn. I have zero romantic interest in the man (or the woman for that matter) but it’s nice to have people you work with who you can be close to. We very rarely get together outside of work, probably once every two years or so. It’s harmless.