Am I wrong to be upset with DH?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How come OP never came back?


Because some people don't stay here all day monitoring threads.


How about answering the questions? Who is attending this dinner?


What's up with the aggressive questioning? My DH and I had this on our calendar for quite some time. I file my project at 5 p.m. and dinner was at 6. Basically hitting "send" and then celebrating after a long arduous work journey. It's not a work dinner.

But honestly...your tone is kind of pointlessly rude.


I once had something like that except at 5 the thing didn’t go through and I was there two hours late troubleshooting with IT. It's cutting it close.

I get that it sucks and you're disappointed but his thing isn't changeable. You have some options for Friday. Go home and relax in an empty house with a glass of wine. Use those reservations to go out and celebrate with a friend or colleague. Go to the kid's game and maybe they will even win! Then you can have a nice family dinner celebrating all of you together. Make a new reservation with husband and have another month of looking forward to that dinner.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!


Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.


Wow, wow, wow. Yikes. More like women are not nearly celebrated enough and deserve to be put first FOR ONCE.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How come OP never came back?


Because some people don't stay here all day monitoring threads.


How about answering the questions? Who is attending this dinner?


What's up with the aggressive questioning? My DH and I had this on our calendar for quite some time. I file my project at 5 p.m. and dinner was at 6. Basically hitting "send" and then celebrating after a long arduous work journey. It's not a work dinner.

But honestly...your tone is kind of pointlessly rude.


I once had something like that except at 5 the thing didn’t go through and I was there two hours late troubleshooting with IT. It's cutting it close.

I get that it sucks and you're disappointed but his thing isn't changeable. You have some options for Friday. Go home and relax in an empty house with a glass of wine. Use those reservations to go out and celebrate with a friend or colleague. Go to the kid's game and maybe they will even win! Then you can have a nice family dinner celebrating all of you together. Make a new reservation with husband and have another month of looking forward to that dinner.



This is one thing that no one has mentioned, or at least focused on - OP's kid(s) hockey team made the playoffs! They must be very excited, and I'm sure would love to have their mother there. But not only has OP shown *no* inclination to go to the game, she wants the kids' other parent, who also happens to be the head coach of the team, to miss the came as well and attend a previously scheduled *date night,* because she just finished a big work project and has hard-to-get reservations.

That's self-centered on a level you rarely see, even on DCUM.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!


Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.


Wow, wow, wow. Yikes. More like women are not nearly celebrated enough and deserve to be put first FOR ONCE.


That PP was rude but to most of us this isn't a gender issue. If this were a dinner for DH and DW were a dance instructor and DD got invited to do a big recital at the last minute, my response to the situation would be the same and I suspect most posters agree.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!


Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.


.thank you for proving my point 😃
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!


Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.


Wow, wow, wow. Yikes. More like women are not nearly celebrated enough and deserve to be put first FOR ONCE.


That PP was rude but to most of us this isn't a gender issue. If this were a dinner for DH and DW were a dance instructor and DD got invited to do a big recital at the last minute, my response to the situation would be the same and I suspect most posters agree.


+1

In fact, I bet in most situations like this, the gender would be reversed. DH gets a big promotion and wants to celebrate but its open night for DD's HS play, and DW is the director. Something like that.

DH would be getting roased in this forum, and rightfully so. Just like OP deserves to get roasted here. She's being a little childish and a little selfish.

People need to understand that "not being first doesnt automatically mean that you're last" OP should take a second, re-assess her behavior, and gracefully wait until Sunday (and also go cheer on your kid, FFS)
Anonymous
Team Kid. I would not want to miss watching my kid in a playoff game.

It’s understandable to be disappointed. Reschedule dinner and celebrate another night when your husband is more present.
Anonymous
He married a narcissist.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!


Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.


.thank you for proving my point 😃


No one is saying that OP shouldn't be celebrated, you dope. We're saying that she doesn't need to be celebrated at that particular date and time, that the celebration can be moved, and that the playoff game that her kids are playing in, and that her husband is coaching, can't. Is that really so difficult to understand?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.


Yep.


I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?

Perhaps you should ask yourself why you sound like a horrible parent and a spouse? Poor kid, having a narc mom.
Anonymous
Dinner is self-congratulatory; game is being there for your kid.
Anonymous
OP is a total petulant......narc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.


Yep.


I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?


I said that because from your post you're upset your DH isn't choosing celebrating you over supporting/celebrating his kid so I honestly thought you were the kid's stepmom. Most parents I know wouldn't make this an either/or and would be excited for their kid to be in the playoffs and reschedule their date night celebratory dinner.
Anonymous
I feel for you. It sounds like a really special restaurant, booked and looked forward to for months. I've had to cancel things like this and it really sucks!!

But I do think you should reschedule and go to the game. I think your DH should really try to make it up to you somehow. An extra extra special date night when you can reschedule. Extra special dinner (whatever is manageable) for the night of the game. I hope he would.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.


Yep.


I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?


It’s weird that you still can’t figure this out after all of the feedback you’ve received. Maybe because most loving parents would prioritize supporting their children/coaching spouse in an actual live playoff game (which can’t be moved) in a heartbeat rather than acting like a petulant toddler and demanding their husband abandon their child and his team prioritize a date night (that can easily be moved) to fete their own accomplishments.

Hopefully when you come out from the fog of your oh so important project you’ll realize just how ridiculous and self absorbed you sound and apologize to you family for acting like a diva
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