Am I wrong to be upset with DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally would want to celebrate at the hockey game if my kid and DH were that involved. But I would also want my DH to take the lead in making this up to me by rescheduling the dinner and maybe some other date night while you wait for this special restaurant.

Would you ask him to do all of this or expect that he would just know that he needs to go all out to make it up to you?

Make it up to me? It's not like he is ditching the dinner for poker night out with the boys!!

OP's own kid is in the hockey playoffs and SH is the coach.

OP, are you sure you are not the step mom? I too am getting those vibes as you seem to care less for your kid that one normally does....

[Anonymous]

I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

[Anonymous]

OP - just a quick apology to DH and move on. It doesnt have to be a big deal. You were wrong, but not over-the-top wrong. The weekend can still be salvaged.

[Anonymous]

Dr. Ramani now has a book... about narcissistic abuse, wish OP's husband and kid would read it.

[Anonymous]

As a European, I will never understand how Americans put children's sports over an adult's major professional accomplishment. Actually, scratch that. It's not just Europeans. It's everyone in the world, probably. I have East Asians in my family, and they would prioritize the work milestone. I have colleagues from the Indian subcontinent. They would prioritize the work milestone too.

I would be extremely hurt and offended if my husband reacted that way. It would actually be a form of deep betrayal. But then my husband is also European and would never make that mistake.

We have markedly different values, don't we? Fascinating.

Puh-lease, I know from personal experience the role soccer plays in the lives of European families whose kids play. In some places, they're just as passionate about basketball. Of course, it's mostly boys' sports because of the gender inequities common in European athletics.

The irony of your post is that the US is waaaay behind Europe in work/life balance - especially the mandatory minimum number of vacation days EU members have to provide. Given all your free time that allows you to have so much quality time with your families, it's no wonder you'd prioritize something like work because you don't have to sacrifice 'family time' the rest of the year. Besides, whenever OP's project completion is 'celebrated', it will have absolutely no impact on the outcome of her efforts or diminish the 'accomplishment' - unlike her DH and DC who, if they miss this activity, will never have the opportunity to experience it again. Why is OP diminishing the efforts her DH and DC have made to achieve their milestone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

Troll Op is still here trolling?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

Sure it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

Sure it is.

Perplexing why this fascinates you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

Sure it is.

Perplexing why this fascinates you.

I think you posted on the wrong thread. This makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

You can go to dinner any time. The hockey game happens only once. Game wins. I think you're being selfish, but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Think of this hocky season as the conclusion of his own big project. He's the head coach of a team that made the playoffs. Seriously, it's not just about the kids, but about his own feeling of accomplishment and success. He needs to be there and it would be great if you could support him. Remake the reservations for a later date, even if it's a month out.

I am sorry but a child's hockey game and extracurricular coaching is not the same as a major work project.

It's not like she's missing completing the project for the hockey game, so you're comparing apples to oranges. The issue is a hockey game versus a dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Women will always be last.

Your DH kinda sucks, not because of the game he can't control the schedule and as the head coach he has to show, but his attitude sucks.

He should have been empathetic and rescheduling the dinner.

He should not have tried to shame and guilt you for being disappointed.

You have the right to be disappointed.

You deserve to be celebrated.

You go to that dinner. Congratulations!

Yuck. It's more like some women will always be self-centered narcissists looking for excuses to complain when they aren't the center of attention.

The celebratory dinner can be rescheduled and there is more than one restaurant in the area.

Wow, wow, wow. Yikes. More like women are not nearly celebrated enough and deserve to be put first FOR ONCE.

Oh please. If the roles were reversed and the mom was the coach I'd tell the dad to suck it this. This has NOTHING to do with the fact that OP is a woman so stop trying to make it sound like it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% say he should coach playoffs. 100%.
You can reschedule your dinner.
He has coached all season for this - and now they make playoffs. No way would I expect my husband to miss.
First, I would be going to playoff to watch my kid (it’s play offs)- then I would super fast reschedule for Sunday night when fewer reservations or easier to get—- or I would call restaurant and see if anyway they can move me to next weekend (assuming no final game).
I’m a corporate attorney- and I have kids- so understand working and major milestone- and also sports.
This wouldn’t even cross my mind to go to dinner. Your husband wil be distracted anyhow.
He should have called you today “honey that was our big celebration- can we move it to next weekend- would that be ok”.
But that’s minor. Hands down he’s in the right to expect dinner to be rescheduled.

This is a milestone unlike anything typical in the corporate world. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I want to see my kid play. It's the offhand way my spouse just suggested we punt to midweek.

Would you have been happier if he had punted to the next weekend? He probably said mid-week because it would be sooner but you're complaining because mid-week doesn't seem important. If he had said next weekend you'd be mad that it wasn't sooner. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

DH should express regret for the unavoidable conflict, and make the effort to replace the original work celebration with something even better.
Marriage works better when partners give, not take.