Am I wrong to be upset with DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you. It sounds like a really special restaurant, booked and looked forward to for months. I've had to cancel things like this and it really sucks!!

But I do think you should reschedule and go to the game. I think your DH should really try to make it up to you somehow. An extra extra special date night when you can reschedule. Extra special dinner (whatever is manageable) for the night of the game. I hope he would.

This. There's such an easy and obvious compromise here.

OP graciously understand that this isn't all about her and goes and cheers on DC in the playoffs.

DH quickly makes another reservation for Saturday, but also has something small planned for after the game at home (heck even if its just flowers and some chilled champagne to celebrate whenever everyone gets home; a least a little something to acknowledge the importance).

That would be an example of a good loving supportive marriage and family.

What's currently happening is red flags everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He married a narcissist.

+1, if I were op’s spouse this incident would definitely make me lose respect for them and would be hard to forget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH.

It's really no big deal to have this dinner on Saturday night as well.

And you getting upset also minimizes the hard work DH and your DC did all season long to make the playoffs.

I woudn't make a big deal of out of this, but a small apology to DH and then a reservation for Sat night should do the trick

Why should the DH be apologized to? Women always take last place it seems.

Bc OP asked DH to entirely MISS something that's very important to him and to their child, for something for her that can VERY easily be rescheduled. That's selfishness.

It's not about "taking last place" as you put; its about compromising and considering your spouse's feelings as well.

But DH is asking that something else that's clearly important be "missed" as well, for something that was hard to schedule and was on a calendar for, it seems, a very long time.

Waiting 24 hours is not "missing" the event. She's asking him to miss it entirely. We're all suggesting she just wait a single day.

There's a HUGE difference. Honestly, OP is being a little childish.

NP, this isn’t a reservation at the Olive Garden that can easily be rescheduled. If it is a hard to get reservation it takes lots of phone calls to secure a reservation. I’m team DW. My work supports our family so I expect support in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH.

It's really no big deal to have this dinner on Saturday night as well.

And you getting upset also minimizes the hard work DH and your DC did all season long to make the playoffs.

I woudn't make a big deal of out of this, but a small apology to DH and then a reservation for Sat night should do the trick

Why should the DH be apologized to? Women always take last place it seems.

Bc OP asked DH to entirely MISS something that's very important to him and to their child, for something for her that can VERY easily be rescheduled. That's selfishness.

It's not about "taking last place" as you put; its about compromising and considering your spouse's feelings as well.

But DH is asking that something else that's clearly important be "missed" as well, for something that was hard to schedule and was on a calendar for, it seems, a very long time.

Waiting 24 hours is not "missing" the event. She's asking him to miss it entirely. We're all suggesting she just wait a single day.

There's a HUGE difference. Honestly, OP is being a little childish.

NP, this isn’t a reservation at the Olive Garden that can easily be rescheduled. If it is a hard to get reservation it takes lots of phone calls to secure a reservation. I’m team DW. My work supports our family so I expect support in return.

OMG.

This is like from Ozzie & Harriet.

Get over yourself and go support your loved ones, before its too late .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH.

It's really no big deal to have this dinner on Saturday night as well.

And you getting upset also minimizes the hard work DH and your DC did all season long to make the playoffs.

I woudn't make a big deal of out of this, but a small apology to DH and then a reservation for Sat night should do the trick

Why should the DH be apologized to? Women always take last place it seems.

Bc OP asked DH to entirely MISS something that's very important to him and to their child, for something for her that can VERY easily be rescheduled. That's selfishness.

It's not about "taking last place" as you put; its about compromising and considering your spouse's feelings as well.

But DH is asking that something else that's clearly important be "missed" as well, for something that was hard to schedule and was on a calendar for, it seems, a very long time.

Waiting 24 hours is not "missing" the event. She's asking him to miss it entirely. We're all suggesting she just wait a single day.

There's a HUGE difference. Honestly, OP is being a little childish.

NP, this isn’t a reservation at the Olive Garden that can easily be rescheduled. If it is a hard to get reservation it takes lots of phone calls to secure a reservation. I’m team DW. My work supports our family so I expect support in return.

"I make the most money so my needs come first" is not a good look...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you. It sounds like a really special restaurant, booked and looked forward to for months. I've had to cancel things like this and it really sucks!!

But I do think you should reschedule and go to the game. I think your DH should really try to make it up to you somehow. An extra extra special date night when you can reschedule. Extra special dinner (whatever is manageable) for the night of the game. I hope he would.

This. There's such an easy and obvious compromise here.

OP graciously understand that this isn't all about her and goes and cheers on DC in the playoffs.

DH quickly makes another reservation for Saturday, but also has something small planned for after the game at home (heck even if its just flowers and some chilled champagne to celebrate whenever everyone gets home; a least a little something to acknowledge the importance).

That would be an example of a good loving supportive marriage and family.

What's currently happening is red flags everywhere

This is a great solution, PP! No chips on anyone's shoulders, everyone cheering for everyone else.

Also, it's a matter of math, 2 (DH & kid) vs. 1 (DW). She is outnumbered, but it doesn't mean everyone can't celebrate (kid included) her work accomplishment on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He married a narcissist.

+1, if I were op’s spouse this incident would definitely make me lose respect for them and would be hard to forget

That's unfortunate for you. It's not that big an incident. Life happens people.

[Anonymous]

I am Ann Landers. Here's the thing. It seems a bit boorish or low-EQ that DH didn't couch it with an offer to reschedule.

Kids sports can occupy an outsized fixation in many families' minds. Everyone thinks their kid is going to the Olympics. It seems like it could have been handled with more balance, not just -- we're overthrowing your special milestone for a game.

Messaging is of the essence, in a successful marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH.

It's really no big deal to have this dinner on Saturday night as well.

And you getting upset also minimizes the hard work DH and your DC did all season long to make the playoffs.

I woudn't make a big deal of out of this, but a small apology to DH and then a reservation for Sat night should do the trick

Why should the DH be apologized to? Women always take last place it seems.

Bc OP asked DH to entirely MISS something that's very important to him and to their child, for something for her that can VERY easily be rescheduled. That's selfishness.

It's not about "taking last place" as you put; its about compromising and considering your spouse's feelings as well.

But DH is asking that something else that's clearly important be "missed" as well, for something that was hard to schedule and was on a calendar for, it seems, a very long time.

Waiting 24 hours is not "missing" the event. She's asking him to miss it entirely. We're all suggesting she just wait a single day.

There's a HUGE difference. Honestly, OP is being a little childish.

NP, this isn’t a reservation at the Olive Garden that can easily be rescheduled. If it is a hard to get reservation it takes lots of phone calls to secure a reservation. I’m team DW. My work supports our family so I expect support in return.

Okay so it may require postponing for weeks but it can be rescheduled. On the other hand both of your parents (including your father who is the lead coach) skipping out on your playoff game (which truly can’t be rescheduled) because your mother insisted her prescheduled date night takes precedence is fodder for months of therapy down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.

Yep.

I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?

Many of us are getting “stepmom vibes” because it’s so hard for us to imagine a mother having so little regard for her own child, plus husband too, that she’d demand to keep a date night rather than celebrate something important for her child and husband that can’t be moved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.

Yep.

I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?

Many of us are getting “stepmom vibes” because it’s so hard for us to imagine a mother having so little regard for her own child, plus husband too, that she’d demand to keep a date night rather than celebrate something important for her child and husband that can’t be moved.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is giving me step-mom vibes.

Yep.

I never came back because I'm finishing a huge project. Not a stepmom. That child all 10 lbs came flying out of my body. What an unusual thing to say! What are stepmom vibes?

Many of us are getting “stepmom vibes” because it’s so hard for us to imagine a mother having so little regard for her own child, plus husband too, that she’d demand to keep a date night rather than celebrate something important for her child and husband that can’t be moved.

This seems very Trad Wife-y.

[Anonymous]

I feel for the kid. OP wants her husband to celebrate her at the expense of both parents missing something important for the kid.

"hey Jason where are your parents?"
"oh, my mom finished a work project and wanted to go out to celebrate with my dad so they couldn't come"

So ridiculously selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you. It sounds like a really special restaurant, booked and looked forward to for months. I've had to cancel things like this and it really sucks!!

But I do think you should reschedule and go to the game. I think your DH should really try to make it up to you somehow. An extra extra special date night when you can reschedule. Extra special dinner (whatever is manageable) for the night of the game. I hope he would.

This. There's such an easy and obvious compromise here.

OP graciously understand that this isn't all about her and goes and cheers on DC in the playoffs.

DH quickly makes another reservation for Saturday, but also has something small planned for after the game at home (heck even if its just flowers and some chilled champagne to celebrate whenever everyone gets home; a least a little something to acknowledge the importance).

That would be an example of a good loving supportive marriage and family.

What's currently happening is red flags everywhere

Absolutely! So many DHs on here seem totally clueless though. But him doing these small extra things to go a bit OTT will probably go a long way to making OP feel appreciated and seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, is this a work dinner.... or one for the two of you?

I don’t get this either.

I assume it’s a dinner date reservation for the two of them. Yet her hockey kid has a playoff game. Head coach is responsible for whole team and should be there. He can make it up to you with two dinners.