Kids not allowed to socialize in real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Really? Weren’t you saying something about how your kid would sneak out at night in the middle of the week? He sounds like a juvenile delinquent quite frankly.

Huh? Nobody mentioned anybody sneaking out in the middle of the night. You seem confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it common for high school kids who live in DC or other big city suburbs that aren't walkable to not be allowed to socialize with friends outside of school and clubs (including weekends)? I have a hard time seeing how this would work since if I'd tried that with my child he would have been sneaking out all the time. Is this a post-COVID thing? Mine had a taste of freedom before COVID began, so there was no way to put that horse back in the barn. Maybe today's kids are just different?

Ring a bell OP? A kid needing to sneak out on weekdays sounds like a juvenile delinquent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Lots of people work in big tech companies. It’s not as big of a deal as you make it sound and you need skill not a top five school. No, your kids don’t run circles around mine and running clubs is a joke as most don’t do much of anything. Let’s be real. Those things are for resumes. When your kids are in the top orchestras, club sports and school stuff that’s more impressive. And, given mine started algebra in 6th they aren’t exactly dumb. The kids at the school clubs do very little. Very little.

So then why is your kid not capable of managing a random mid week social outing?

Sounds like your kid isn’t capable.

Everything you list above is to try to get your kid into the college that my kid is attending.

My kid does run the top clubs…and no, not many HS kids are getting flown to client sites (yep mine too) to work on projects during breaks.

The fact you brought up an orchestra is a huge tell that about your background. You are a complete and utter cliche.

Actually it says nothing about my background. It says I support my child’s interests. Mine choose to do it. It’s not my interest at all. You clearly push only your interests.

I don’t need my kids to work and earn money during the school year. Why would you do that to them. I highly doubt what you are saying is true but ok.

Again, too clubs mean nothing. Most do very little and it’s name only.

My kid is not going to the same schools as yours. Mine doesn’t care about status and we’d rather pay for college and grad school at a school we can afford. You don’t need a degree from a so called ivy to do well in tech. And mine want a dual major so not all schools have both.

And, no, there is no time. There are often several activities a day and some things are missed or we have a delicate balancing act of leaving one to go to another and returning.

My kid loves the stuff they do…that’s why they are able to handle it while yours can’t.

Don’t give me that BS that your kid wanted to be in the orchestra…you foisted that on them starting at a young age.

Sorry…your BS just isn’t holding up.

DP. Mine absolutely does. She is very young for the level of orchestra she’s in, and is working towards being the section leader. She is good enough in her instrument to go to conservatory but hasn’t decided if that’s the path she wants to take. She also has friends there, so it’s not like there is no socialization happening at ECs, either.

Kids have different amounts of free time, and different attitudes towards what to do with it. DD chooses to stay home and relax, the one free afternoon she’s done early. She has friends that go out every day because their ECs are seasonal, they have more free time on their hands, and they are extroverted. Mine is happy with seeing friends once a week or once every other week, outside of school. The kids should each do what works for them. I don’t know why you’re so concerned with how other people’s children are spending their evenings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it common for high school kids who live in DC or other big city suburbs that aren't walkable to not be allowed to socialize with friends outside of school and clubs (including weekends)? I have a hard time seeing how this would work since if I'd tried that with my child he would have been sneaking out all the time. Is this a post-COVID thing? Mine had a taste of freedom before COVID began, so there was no way to put that horse back in the barn. Maybe today's kids are just different?

Ring a bell OP? A kid needing to sneak out on weekdays sounds like a juvenile delinquent.

Yeah…I’m not OP.

[Anonymous]

OP is insecure as hell - first she asks if it’s normal and then when a bunch of people reply yes it’s normal, she realizes her parenting sucks. She lets her kid socialize during the week or her kid would “sneak out” (her words). Yet her kid goes to a top 5 college, gets paid to be flown to client sites while in HS, rubs clubs, gets straight As, and can run circles around anyone else. And OP is combative as hell. Something isn’t adding up. I smell troll.

OP, do everyone a favor and put down the alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Really? Weren’t you saying something about how your kid would sneak out at night in the middle of the week? He sounds like a juvenile delinquent quite frankly.

Huh? Nobody mentioned anybody sneaking out in the middle of the night. You seem confused.

No you are confused. OP mentioned sneaking out in her very first troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if some of you aren’t aware, but social skills and networking skills are often half of what makes people successful. Not letting your kid practice that and develop those seems like a huge mistake. A lot of perfectionist academic kids burn out.

Also if your kid is only successful bc their parents force them to stay home and do work, that’s not usually sustainable once they go off to college.

The other probable reality is that most of the kids here whose parents say they are “too busy” might not be getting any invites.

And finally - this kind of strict “family only” policy is actually really common in 1st generation immigrant families.

You realize some parents aren't forcing anything and the kids are driving a lot of it. Mine are in tons of activities because it's what they want. As parents, it's a huge expense (the bulk of our spending) and time suck but we do it for them. I'd love for mine to drop some but I will never force them to drop something except if we can no longer afford it. I also support it because it's far better than some of their friends who just spend all day every day on video games and social media. If I choose activities it would look very different. But, it's not about me, it's about them.

And, forcing your kids to do their school work is not a bad thing. You seem to be against parents being involved. Time to put your kids first and support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Lots of people work in big tech companies. It’s not as big of a deal as you make it sound and you need skill not a top five school. No, your kids don’t run circles around mine and running clubs is a joke as most don’t do much of anything. Let’s be real. Those things are for resumes. When your kids are in the top orchestras, club sports and school stuff that’s more impressive. And, given mine started algebra in 6th they aren’t exactly dumb. The kids at the school clubs do very little. Very little.

So then why is your kid not capable of managing a random mid week social outing?

Sounds like your kid isn’t capable.

Everything you list above is to try to get your kid into the college that my kid is attending.

My kid does run the top clubs…and no, not many HS kids are getting flown to client sites (yep mine too) to work on projects during breaks.

The fact you brought up an orchestra is a huge tell that about your background. You are a complete and utter cliche.

Actually it says nothing about my background. It says I support my child’s interests. Mine choose to do it. It’s not my interest at all. You clearly push only your interests.

I don’t need my kids to work and earn money during the school year. Why would you do that to them. I highly doubt what you are saying is true but ok.

Again, too clubs mean nothing. Most do very little and it’s name only.

My kid is not going to the same schools as yours. Mine doesn’t care about status and we’d rather pay for college and grad school at a school we can afford. You don’t need a degree from a so called ivy to do well in tech. And mine want a dual major so not all schools have both.

And, no, there is no time. There are often several activities a day and some things are missed or we have a delicate balancing act of leaving one to go to another and returning.

My kid loves the stuff they do…that’s why they are able to handle it while yours can’t.

Don’t give me that BS that your kid wanted to be in the orchestra…you foisted that on them starting at a young age.

Sorry…your BS just isn’t holding up.

DP. Mine absolutely does. She is very young for the level of orchestra she’s in, and is working towards being the section leader. She is good enough in her instrument to go to conservatory but hasn’t decided if that’s the path she wants to take. She also has friends there, so it’s not like there is no socialization happening at ECs, either.

Kids have different amounts of free time, and different attitudes towards what to do with it. DD chooses to stay home and relax, the one free afternoon she’s done early. She has friends that go out every day because their ECs are seasonal, they have more free time on their hands, and they are extroverted. Mine is happy with seeing friends once a week or once every other week, outside of school. The kids should each do what works for them. I don’t know why you’re so concerned with how other people’s children are spending their evenings.

The orchestra has been an incredible experience for my child. I cannot imagine saying no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Lots of people work in big tech companies. It’s not as big of a deal as you make it sound and you need skill not a top five school. No, your kids don’t run circles around mine and running clubs is a joke as most don’t do much of anything. Let’s be real. Those things are for resumes. When your kids are in the top orchestras, club sports and school stuff that’s more impressive. And, given mine started algebra in 6th they aren’t exactly dumb. The kids at the school clubs do very little. Very little.

So then why is your kid not capable of managing a random mid week social outing?

Sounds like your kid isn’t capable.

Everything you list above is to try to get your kid into the college that my kid is attending.

My kid does run the top clubs…and no, not many HS kids are getting flown to client sites (yep mine too) to work on projects during breaks.

The fact you brought up an orchestra is a huge tell that about your background. You are a complete and utter cliche.

Actually it says nothing about my background. It says I support my child’s interests. Mine choose to do it. It’s not my interest at all. You clearly push only your interests.

I don’t need my kids to work and earn money during the school year. Why would you do that to them. I highly doubt what you are saying is true but ok.

Again, too clubs mean nothing. Most do very little and it’s name only.

My kid is not going to the same schools as yours. Mine doesn’t care about status and we’d rather pay for college and grad school at a school we can afford. You don’t need a degree from a so called ivy to do well in tech. And mine want a dual major so not all schools have both.

And, no, there is no time. There are often several activities a day and some things are missed or we have a delicate balancing act of leaving one to go to another and returning.

DP…why do you keep saying school clubs do very little? Robotics, debate, the school newspaper at many schools and numerous other clubs are very involved and compete in tournaments and competitions.

Stop making sweeping nonsense statements.

Most are not very involved from our experience and not comparable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the early 2000s with a far less hectic schedule than the kids nowadays, I still never went out on weekdays. Weekdays were for homework, sports, activities. Weekends were for socializing.

For private school kids like the ones in our school with busy schedules and large workloads, I doubt they have any free time on weekdays. My kids are still young but I don’t plan to restrict their weekend socialization other than curfew. I want them to have fun.

I have gone to midweek basketball games where STA and Sidwell play and there are lots of students.

Not sure why there is this weird misperception. We aren’t talking midweek parties here.

I also don’t get why parents are fine with their kids missing out on pretty normal HS experiences.

+1. Why are people against their kids attending school functions like a basketball game or the school play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Lots of people work in big tech companies. It’s not as big of a deal as you make it sound and you need skill not a top five school. No, your kids don’t run circles around mine and running clubs is a joke as most don’t do much of anything. Let’s be real. Those things are for resumes. When your kids are in the top orchestras, club sports and school stuff that’s more impressive. And, given mine started algebra in 6th they aren’t exactly dumb. The kids at the school clubs do very little. Very little.

So then why is your kid not capable of managing a random mid week social outing?

Sounds like your kid isn’t capable.

Everything you list above is to try to get your kid into the college that my kid is attending.

My kid does run the top clubs…and no, not many HS kids are getting flown to client sites (yep mine too) to work on projects during breaks.

The fact you brought up an orchestra is a huge tell that about your background. You are a complete and utter cliche.

Actually it says nothing about my background. It says I support my child’s interests. Mine choose to do it. It’s not my interest at all. You clearly push only your interests.

I don’t need my kids to work and earn money during the school year. Why would you do that to them. I highly doubt what you are saying is true but ok.

Again, too clubs mean nothing. Most do very little and it’s name only.

My kid is not going to the same schools as yours. Mine doesn’t care about status and we’d rather pay for college and grad school at a school we can afford. You don’t need a degree from a so called ivy to do well in tech. And mine want a dual major so not all schools have both.

And, no, there is no time. There are often several activities a day and some things are missed or we have a delicate balancing act of leaving one to go to another and returning.

DP…why do you keep saying school clubs do very little? Robotics, debate, the school newspaper at many schools and numerous other clubs are very involved and compete in tournaments and competitions.

Stop making sweeping nonsense statements.

Most are not very involved from our experience and not comparable.

The robotics team is spending 20-30 hours per week and then competing…the debate team has nationally ranked debaters and also spend 20+ hours per week and competes.

Maybe know something before you make blanket statements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not socializing on week days, normal. Teens should be doing homework and activities on weeknights.

Not allowing socializing on weekends is weird and unhealthy absent a good reason like someone is sick etc.

Are your teens so incapable that they can’t manage homework, some ECs and occasionally go to a midweek event? That’s what I am hearing.

Guess what…the highest performing teens are able to do all of this…so I guess your teens aren’t that.

When they are in the amount of activities mine are in, yes. One activity at school vs multiple at school and multiple outside school are different. Should I say no to an activity so they can hang out with your kid because you refuse more than easy school activities.

Sorry…my kid has been accepted to a top 5 college that I am sure you will be dying for your kid to attend. My kid runs circles around yours including winning several national prizes, running multiple clubs at school and getting paid to work at a tech company.

Yet…yet…yet my kid still is able to participate in midweek activities from time-to-time.

So…what is the excuse for yours?

Lots of people work in big tech companies. It’s not as big of a deal as you make it sound and you need skill not a top five school. No, your kids don’t run circles around mine and running clubs is a joke as most don’t do much of anything. Let’s be real. Those things are for resumes. When your kids are in the top orchestras, club sports and school stuff that’s more impressive. And, given mine started algebra in 6th they aren’t exactly dumb. The kids at the school clubs do very little. Very little.

So then why is your kid not capable of managing a random mid week social outing?

Sounds like your kid isn’t capable.

Everything you list above is to try to get your kid into the college that my kid is attending.

My kid does run the top clubs…and no, not many HS kids are getting flown to client sites (yep mine too) to work on projects during breaks.

The fact you brought up an orchestra is a huge tell that about your background. You are a complete and utter cliche.

Actually it says nothing about my background. It says I support my child’s interests. Mine choose to do it. It’s not my interest at all. You clearly push only your interests.

I don’t need my kids to work and earn money during the school year. Why would you do that to them. I highly doubt what you are saying is true but ok.

Again, too clubs mean nothing. Most do very little and it’s name only.

My kid is not going to the same schools as yours. Mine doesn’t care about status and we’d rather pay for college and grad school at a school we can afford. You don’t need a degree from a so called ivy to do well in tech. And mine want a dual major so not all schools have both.

And, no, there is no time. There are often several activities a day and some things are missed or we have a delicate balancing act of leaving one to go to another and returning.

DP…why do you keep saying school clubs do very little? Robotics, debate, the school newspaper at many schools and numerous other clubs are very involved and compete in tournaments and competitions.

Stop making sweeping nonsense statements.

Most are not very involved from our experience and not comparable.

Now you are making me sympathetic to the OP…you said you don’t care about “status”, but you are now saying things aren’t “comparable”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the early 2000s with a far less hectic schedule than the kids nowadays, I still never went out on weekdays. Weekdays were for homework, sports, activities. Weekends were for socializing.

For private school kids like the ones in our school with busy schedules and large workloads, I doubt they have any free time on weekdays. My kids are still young but I don’t plan to restrict their weekend socialization other than curfew. I want them to have fun.

I have gone to midweek basketball games where STA and Sidwell play and there are lots of students.

Not sure why there is this weird misperception. We aren’t talking midweek parties here.

I also don’t get why parents are fine with their kids missing out on pretty normal HS experiences.

+1. Why are people against their kids attending school functions like a basketball game or the school play.

I don’t think anyone has said that they’re against it. Most of us are saying that it’s unlikely, given kids’ schedules, for them to attend during weekdays. Near as I can tell, there are games and performances on Fridays, which are probably easier for kids to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the early 2000s with a far less hectic schedule than the kids nowadays, I still never went out on weekdays. Weekdays were for homework, sports, activities. Weekends were for socializing.

For private school kids like the ones in our school with busy schedules and large workloads, I doubt they have any free time on weekdays. My kids are still young but I don’t plan to restrict their weekend socialization other than curfew. I want them to have fun.

I have gone to midweek basketball games where STA and Sidwell play and there are lots of students.

Not sure why there is this weird misperception. We aren’t talking midweek parties here.

I also don’t get why parents are fine with their kids missing out on pretty normal HS experiences.

+1. Why are people against their kids attending school functions like a basketball game or the school play.

I don’t think anyone has said that they’re against it. Most of us are saying that it’s unlikely, given kids’ schedules, for them to attend during weekdays. Near as I can tell, there are games and performances on Fridays, which are probably easier for kids to attend.

Yes there are. Friday night games and Friday or Saturday night performances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the early 2000s with a far less hectic schedule than the kids nowadays, I still never went out on weekdays. Weekdays were for homework, sports, activities. Weekends were for socializing.

For private school kids like the ones in our school with busy schedules and large workloads, I doubt they have any free time on weekdays. My kids are still young but I don’t plan to restrict their weekend socialization other than curfew. I want them to have fun.

I have gone to midweek basketball games where STA and Sidwell play and there are lots of students.

Not sure why there is this weird misperception. We aren’t talking midweek parties here.

I also don’t get why parents are fine with their kids missing out on pretty normal HS experiences.

+1. Why are people against their kids attending school functions like a basketball game or the school play.

Why not let your kids be in the school play or play in the basketball game?