I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

It's outrage, not outraged. How many mimosas have you had?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If the hosting family was Indian, they would probably be inclusive, call entire families, provide a hot meal with options as well as pizza and cake, have goody bags for all the kids, provide beer and wine for the adults, pack leftovers for the guests to take home and also have a clown or magician to entertain the guests.

I live in an area with lots of Indians. My kids have yet to be invited to one of their parties. My dd is close to one girl too. They say they only have family parties and don’t invite friends.

Code for we only invite Indian people
-signed, a foreigner (and I’ve seen it with my compatriots too)

We are a mixed Asian family. We have gotten invited to a few Indian parties and they are mostly all Indian. Our family friend parties are also mostly Asian friends. We have been to parties where majority of party is African or black or Latino. We have one good friend who is Serbian and we have been to a few of their mostly Serbian parties. This is not unique to Indians. The most obvious one is if you go to a mostly all white party of a white family.

It’s understandable. It’s just a fact

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If the families are hispanic, you should expect they'll bring their entire family, some random cousins, their neighbor and a friend they picked up on the way.

Yes, this is accurate

But to other people, that is seen as taking advantage of their hospitality. There are capacity limits and headcount involved, it's not a free for all unless specifically mentioned in the invitation.

Just take it into account with certain cultures
I think the memo is to be culturally aware
Except of course for the representatives of said cultures
Fwiw I am not American and it bugs me

The only culture that matters is the host's. It's not the host's job to cater to every individual's cultural quirks. Guests need to be culturally aware and sensitive and not unintentionally insult. This is just how it works. If it's the host's culture that shoes are off in the house then the guests comply, it doesn't matter that it's not the guest's culture to NOT remove shoes.

I agree. My initial post was sarcastic.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I really don’t think normal people care. This is a popular sensationalized DCUM topic.

Popular birthday parties venues like public parks, trampoline places, bowling/arcade, no one cares if siblings are there. Generally parent drops the invites kid in the party area then pays for and entertains the sibling. No one cares.

They most certainly do not do this. They show up and expect the hosts to set another seat at the table, serve food and cake, and pay for entry. The idea that there are secret siblings there but out of sight just does not happen. Those siblings also are usually first in line demanding a goody bag.

The fact that you don’t know about it is the entire point, dummy.

Because it never happens. How dumb do you think everyone is? That kid always shows up when its time to cut the cake. I have 3 kids, going to weekend parties is like a 2nd job. I've seen this more times than I can count.

You should count your blessings that your kids have friends so you have some semblance of a social life. You’re going to be a lonely, bitter old lady not long after your kids leave the nest if you persist with your hateful attitude.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

Yes, that's why I said to write "no siblings" or to otherwise make it clear on the invitation. Then you can move on without worrying about who will show up randomly at the door. And you can enforce the rules. As someone else said upthread, this is not an unsolvable problem.

I have received invitations specifying space constraints- it's not a big deal!

Are you joking? Hosts now have to be bouncers and awkwardly eject people who show up uninvited? The crashers are counting on the hosts just being polite and not barring their entry. There is no enforcement b/c that would be awkward to counter someone else's rudeness.

I doubt that if you write "no siblings" a bunch of uninvited guests will show up. I think you're looking for something to whine about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t think normal people care. This is a popular sensationalized DCUM topic.

Popular birthday parties venues like public parks, trampoline places, bowling/arcade, no one cares if siblings are there. Generally parent drops the invites kid in the party area then pays for and entertains the sibling. No one cares.

They most certainly do not do this. They show up and expect the hosts to set another seat at the table, serve food and cake, and pay for entry. The idea that there are secret siblings there but out of sight just does not happen. Those siblings also are usually first in line demanding a goody bag.

The fact that you don’t know about it is the entire point, dummy.

Because it never happens. How dumb do you think everyone is? That kid always shows up when its time to cut the cake. I have 3 kids, going to weekend parties is like a 2nd job. I've seen this more times than I can count.

You should count your blessings that your kids have friends so you have some semblance of a social life. You’re going to be a lonely, bitter old lady not long after your kids leave the nest if you persist with your hateful attitude.

I'm sorry you found out today that you are rude and culturally incompetent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

Then you write "Grandmas and siblings welcome!" on your invitations. But unless it says that, it's not a free for all.

[Anonymous]

I had this happen ten years ago when our kids were young. It used to confuse me, as well.

Maybe it's because I'm an older mom, but I think it's an important life lesson for kids to learn that they are not invited to everything, and that their sibling is allowed to have their own friends, and their own events, where they are not included. It's about teaching your child a little bit of humility (how to deal with occasional rejection or non-inclusion), and boundaries, as a future adult.

When one of my kids had a birthday party to attend, I dropped them off. Then younger sibling and I went to do something in the meantime. These are important life lessons.

[Anonymous]

^younger sibling...meant to write "other sibling".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

Then you write "Grandmas and siblings welcome!" on your invitations. But unless it says that, it's not a free for all.

I think you're just stirring the pot. There's no way you have any real friends with your attitude. Write "no siblings" or "no grandmas" or whoever has been showing up at your parties and be done with it. But I seriously doubt this is the monumental problem you have made it out to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

Then you write "Grandmas and siblings welcome!" on your invitations. But unless it says that, it's not a free for all.

I think you're just stirring the pot. There's no way you have any real friends with your attitude. Write "no siblings" or "no grandmas" or whoever has been showing up at your parties and be done with it. But I seriously doubt this is the monumental problem you have made it out to be.

WTF are you talking about. You're saying it doesn't exist. Multiple people in here are saying it happens, sometimes it's a problem. You're stirring the pot by saying it never happens or nobody ever cares. Just say you've never seen it or move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

Then you write "Grandmas and siblings welcome!" on your invitations. But unless it says that, it's not a free for all.

I think you're just stirring the pot. There's no way you have any real friends with your attitude. Write "no siblings" or "no grandmas" or whoever has been showing up at your parties and be done with it. But I seriously doubt this is the monumental problem you have made it out to be.

WTF are you talking about. You're saying it doesn't exist. Multiple people in here are saying it happens, sometimes it's a problem. You're stirring the pot by saying it never happens or nobody ever cares. Just say you've never seen it or move along.

The OP who started an entire thread to complain about this “problem” admitted several pages in that SHE HAS DONE THIS HERSELF! (But only once so it’s okay I guess?).

I find this entire thread befuddling. Yes, it happens sometimes, no, it’s not some insurmountable problem. Most of you are just unhappy and bored and looking to complain.

[Anonymous]

One particular party was at a venue. It's a knock off version of sky zone in my town. You rent the whole place for the party and provide your own food. I assume parents know you're not paying per person so they assume it's ok to bring siblings or something. We had a party there several years ago and so many siblings came. AND their parents allowed them to take goodie bags. I didn't plan on twice the number of freaking goodie bags. Invited kids didn't even get one because parents let their 3 year old siblings take them.


That really chapped my hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

I don't do this myself, but I understand it. We invite everyone and serve full meals and have goody bags for all the RSVPs plus extra. I don't worry if an extra sibling shows up. I think most people are doing their best. It's a kids party, not a wedding. Life goes on.

Then you're not having a venue party where there are caps on sizes. Do you understand how there might be other constraints when the party is not in your backyard?

I do have venue parties but I plan for this. And if I was that constrained I would write "no siblings" or something to that effect on the RSVP. Like I stated in my first post. This is not worth worrying about- just make it clear.

Good to know you rent the entire venue out to accommodate everyone's extended family. Did it occur to you other people have more modest budgets and would like a fun party with a few close friends? Or is it: "no fun parties for poor kids because someone want to bring their cousin and Grandma too"?

I would love if if someone brought their grandma to my kid's party. Grandmas are the best!

Then you write "Grandmas and siblings welcome!" on your invitations. But unless it says that, it's not a free for all.

I think you're just stirring the pot. There's no way you have any real friends with your attitude. Write "no siblings" or "no grandmas" or whoever has been showing up at your parties and be done with it. But I seriously doubt this is the monumental problem you have made it out to be.

WTF are you talking about. You're saying it doesn't exist. Multiple people in here are saying it happens, sometimes it's a problem. You're stirring the pot by saying it never happens or nobody ever cares. Just say you've never seen it or move along.

The OP who started an entire thread to complain about this “problem” admitted several pages in that SHE HAS DONE THIS HERSELF! (But only once so it’s okay I guess?).

I find this entire thread befuddling. Yes, it happens sometimes, no, it’s not some insurmountable problem. Most of you are just unhappy and bored and looking to complain.

You decided it's not a problem. Do you think a lot of people are excited that their party bill is now $200 more when unexpected guests show up? It's never just one. You must be really bored to be challenging other people's realities for no real reason.