Lack of Romamce Among Gen Z teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think dating in high school is a generally bad idea. It is a throw back from an era when people married before they were even 20. These days, it is not uncommon for college educated people to wait until 30. There is really nothing wrong with waiting until college to start romance. Emotionally and physically safer choice. Among my teen's friends, the only one dating in high school is super religious, whose life goal is to become a parent as soon as possible.

I so agree. I also find it kind of creepy---the parents fixated on their HS kids' BFs and GFs---taking them on family trips and meeting the kids' parents. It's really gross.

My parents never would have had my BF come on a family vacation (if I had a BF in HS...lol).

Kids having sex in HS are not ready for the emotional fallout from those choices.

Then--it's a fact that the earlier kids start having sex--the more promiscuous they become and the likelihood of cheating down the road are also higher. Studies actually done on this.

Most kids have sex really young have emotional dysfunction in their home lives.

+200 the mothers overly invested in their HS teens love lives is really disturbing (and their popularity).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids have any good role models in this area in the older young adults they know, the dating scene has changed so much.

This video caught my attention:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFyBJaoNyGY


Sure growing up in the 80s wasn't exactly like the beginning of the film, but it certainly was different than what we have now.

What is your point? That people communicating online and meeting people with shared interest who have expressed in interest in dating you is inferior to interrupting someone at lunch and judging exclusively on looks? And the creepy stalker song is the anthem of gold dating?

So Tinder is not judging exclusively by looks?
Guess what! They don't care that you like long walks on the beach. They like or don't like how you look.

And the stalker song was tongue in cheek. Of course it's a weird song but many have played it at their weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. It's...interesting and I wonder how they will turn out.
My 17.5 year old daughter has never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone (I believe this when she tells me). She's pretty, outgoing, friendly, stylish, etc and interested in boys. It's just never happened for her. She attends an all-girls school but when I talk to moms who went there 30 years ago they had plenty of exposure to boys. Now many of the girls live like nuns: they study 3 hours a day, do extracurriculars, sports and go through high school never having more than a few words with a guys.

This is all markedly different from my own high school life. I didn't have sex until college but from age 14 on I was kissing boys, making out (just shy of sex), dating. My life revolved around boys and I was a great student. But somehow I had hours and hours to think about them and my kid just slogs away at academics and all the rest of the crap that high schoolers today fill their time with.

You send your kid to an all girls school and sign her up for club sports, how is she supposed to meet boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, sperm counts and testosterone levels have been steadily declining over the past 50 years. I can't remember what the studies have shown -- maybe about 1 to 2% per year? And I think the rate of decline is even accelerating these days. So...

+1

I wonder if there has also been a similar alteration in girls' hormones.

This is bad news and I'm surprised that more people are not sounding the alarm about it.

It’s a good thing. People will have less kids.

Disruption of hormones is never a good thing, individually or at a society level.

Do some reading, please. Be curious. Learn about this issue.

What can I tell you, mankind evolves. You can’t expect humans to be the same now as when you were a kid.

I can tell you that we are looking at the destruction of our species. It has happened to other species in the past. Now we are doing it to ourselves.

Ok so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like all these adults somehow forgot how sexual assault was the norm 30 years ago. Pop in a VHS and look!

Either accept sexual assault as an unpleasant experience that most people survive, like a car crash, or accept sexual isolation and safety, like staying off the roads. There is no 100% freedom with 100% safety.

Yes, I would take the current trends of delaying relationships over the misogyny and acceptance of sexual harassment that happened frequently in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. It's...interesting and I wonder how they will turn out.
My 17.5 year old daughter has never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone (I believe this when she tells me). She's pretty, outgoing, friendly, stylish, etc and interested in boys. It's just never happened for her. She attends an all-girls school but when I talk to moms who went there 30 years ago they had plenty of exposure to boys. Now many of the girls live like nuns: they study 3 hours a day, do extracurriculars, sports and go through high school never having more than a few words with a guys.

This is all markedly different from my own high school life. I didn't have sex until college but from age 14 on I was kissing boys, making out (just shy of sex), dating. My life revolved around boys and I was a great student. But somehow I had hours and hours to think about them and my kid just slogs away at academics and all the rest of the crap that high schoolers today fill their time with.

You send your kid to an all girls school and sign her up for club sports, how is she supposed to meet boys?

She's not in club sports (you made that up--i did not say it). Somehow the moms I know who attended this girls school or others like it 30 years ago were able to meet boys. Now there are few parties, no dating and just a lot of studying, extracurricular activities, and internet time. The moms I know say that their daughters' experiences are very different than their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my 15 year daughter can't stand the guys at her school they are very immature and dumb .

Not sayin this in a negative way but your daughter will be the 23 year old with the 35-40 year old guy. Especially in this area. The expectation is that any guy worth dating will make at least $250k before age 25.

The "good life" of financial over-stability and a lifestyle that conforms to the Gram norms will be driving factor. I also feel a lot of woman will choose to be alone unless they can have the top 2-5% or better. That anything else will be a loss in their minds and not worth there time or energy. 10-15 years from now will be a telling time in history and we will not be able to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Gen Z daughter can't wait to go to college to meet new young men. She isn't interested in any boys at her high school.

Are you serious? Guys are SO MUCH worse in college. She isn't going to have a clue and get played by every guy there.

[Anonymous]

So I'm the poster with the DS who is afraid of getting into trouble with teen dating in the age of the internet. It's not just him, I've heard him and his friends talking about it. It's a part of being a teen nowadays. We didn't have to deal with that as teens. They feel a little beat down that they are cast as innately someone to be afraid of because of their gender. It brings up good convos on gender equality, prejudging, and feeling the repercussions of problems they didn't themselves create.

It's different than what girls and girl moms worry about but boils down to the same thing. Respect for all and for all to experience intimacy without fear.

And FWIW, this can happen w/MM and FF teen relationships as well.

[Anonymous]

I can say that my teen boy is not worth any teen girl's crush. Maybe in a couple of years but certainly not now. He has not reached the stage of puberty where he could return any girl's affection.

He may have an athletic build, be decently smart, and quietly nice but he still plays Minecraft with his goofball friends and watches low-key horror movies at sleepovers. There are plenty of other "faster" developing boys are interested in dating and girls.

For now, persistent texts from girls only leaves him confused and worried about being rude. Check back in two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are kids doing these things. Your kids aren’t. Which is fine too.

Many of them are dating, having sex, all of it.

THIS

And I can guarantee since the kids all have phones and social media, many of them aren't even telling their parents a thing.

Also, in middle school, the big source for making out or getting to 2nd base was during after school clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can say that my teen boy is not worth any teen girl's crush. Maybe in a couple of years but certainly not now. He has not reached the stage of puberty where he could return any girl's affection.

He may have an athletic build, be decently smart, and quietly nice but he still plays Minecraft with his goofball friends and watches low-key horror movies at sleepovers. There are plenty of other "faster" developing boys are interested in dating and girls.

For now, persistent texts from girls only leaves him confused and worried about being rude. Check back in two years.

There are boy moms and then there are complete ick boy moms. We all know which one you are sweetie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 15 year daughter can't stand the guys at her school they are very immature and dumb .

Not sayin this in a negative way but your daughter will be the 23 year old with the 35-40 year old guy. Especially in this area. The expectation is that any guy worth dating will make at least $250k before age 25.

The "good life" of financial over-stability and a lifestyle that conforms to the Gram norms will be driving factor. I also feel a lot of woman will choose to be alone unless they can have the top 2-5% or better. That anything else will be a loss in their minds and not worth there time or energy. 10-15 years from now will be a telling time in history and we will not be able to fix it.

DP. All of that from the PP’s daughter thinking 15 year old boys are immature?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can say that my teen boy is not worth any teen girl's crush. Maybe in a couple of years but certainly not now. He has not reached the stage of puberty where he could return any girl's affection.

He may have an athletic build, be decently smart, and quietly nice but he still plays Minecraft with his goofball friends and watches low-key horror movies at sleepovers. There are plenty of other "faster" developing boys are interested in dating and girls.

For now, persistent texts from girls only leaves him confused and worried about being rude. Check back in two years.

There are boy moms and then there are complete ick boy moms. We all know which one you are sweetie

PP sounds like on of the few DCUM posters who is actually realistic about her child. He sounds great. Let the kids be goofy kids. And stop with the sweetie nonsense. You’re the ick one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old DS told me that one thing he is afraid of regarding relationships is that he'll get sent a revealing pic and then be in possession of CP. Also doesn't want to make any first moves to avoid being accused of anything. He said he feels more comfortable about having a relationship after he turns 18.

Aint no way a teen said this. And that isn't how possession of CP works. Get a clue lady!!