It’s not a balancing test. And a criminal going unpunished is far less of a concern than an innocent person being imprisoned. That’s pretty much the driving theory behind our criminal justice system. |
It’s not about shifting blame, it’s about being proactive rather than reactive. I would rather my daughter NOT be victimized in the first place than worry about reassuring her that it’s not her fault and that she didn’t deserve it after the fact. I also taught my kids to make sure all cars are stopped before they cross the street, even if they’re in a crosswalk or have the walk signal. Cars are supposed to stop, but in the real world some of them don’t. Hoping that other parents teach their kids not to mow down pedestrians isn’t doing anything for my kids’ safety. You can’t possibly be this dense? |
You are projecting. I mentioned nothing about blame. But if defensive driving skills allow you to swerve in time and not die in a fatal accident - yeah i think not dying is a good thing. Just like not experiencing the trauma of rape is kind of the goal here. You won’t ever prevent these things, but you can reduce your chances a little without living in fear. Still go out to that bar, just keep your hand on your drink. Why are you arguing small things like this? Do you just like arguing for fun? |
My jaw is hitting the floor #boymom |
Neat way to change the narrative— wearing a seatbelt is the law. Defensive driving isn’t. Interesting you think precautions that only apply to women should be seen as the law. |
So teach your boys to take precautions so they won’t be victimized. Start with “don’t have sex with someone while you are they are drunk” and move on to “don’t pressure anyone into having sex” and then “don’t have sex with anyone who you haven’t known for long”. I think a poster elsewhere called it “defensive driving” |
You are ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t even know where to start with this drivel but I’ll take the easy mess: conflating the parents of three men with the experience of all men being raised in this country is demonstrative an utter lack of education. Did you learn nothing of math in school? Did you ever learn about statistics? Do you know what the word “statistics” even means? I hope you aren’t teaching your daughter mathematics. 😬 |
The example I know of where a boy was falsely accused (proven by text later) did not involve pressure or alcohol. The girl said as much in the exculpatory text. They’d known each other for a long time. I’m sure you think it’s still the boy’s fault somehow and that he deserved to have his life derailed. |
I sure am. The mathematics is that 1 in 4 college women experience sexual assault or misconduct at University. Who do you think carries out these assaults? One extremely busy predator the police are just ignoring? Or just boys who have been raised to think rules don’t apply to them and they will never experience consequences because “boys will be boys”? |
Deserved? No I don’t think an innocent party deserves to have their life derailed. But as people are saying about women— all the precautions in the world can’t always save you from a bad actor. statistically this boy’s situation, if it is as reported, is very rare. |
1. Some girls will text this when they get scared. 2. Even if she did make it up and it’s a terrible situation for the boy doesn’t negate that 1 in 4 girls are assaulted or raped between ages 18-22. And that is just reported. Do you think 1 in 4 boys are wrongly accused and have their lives “derailed” 3. Many girls are too ashamed/ embarrassed to report because of parents like the ones in this thread that victim blame for not being defensive enough. So instead their lives get derailed as they start to think wrong of themselves, cut themselves, have immense PTSD, depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. But yes, let’s keep talking about the rare story of a boy being falsely accused. Just another reason a girl wouldn’t come forward. |
THIS!!! No one is saying there aren’t random false accusations or that they aren’t a big deal, but the reason it is so crazy to hear when they come out is because of how rare that situation is compared to like 30% of woman getting SA’d before age 21. Which I guess is so common that it is just glossed over as “don’t girls know how to cover their drinks, geez!” |
Ding ding ding! The thread has come full circle with this post! This is exactly what the boys are doing (some taking it further to don’t date or even compliment girls at all) - they are taking precautions to protect themselves. Hence the “lack of romance”. |
I mean… if over 25% of the female population is actually being sexually assaulted during the brief age range (NB I do not believe this statistic for a second) then YES cover your drinks, dummies!! It’s not safe out there! I suspect the main disconnect here is the changing definition of sexual assault. Nowadays “assault” covers anything from forcible rape to drunken hook-ups the girl regrets the next day. Or simply this nebulous concept of “pressure”, not of the physical or livelihood variety, but of the girl not wanting to he seen as difficult or a prude and sadly her mother (or father) never taught her to take some GD agency in her life and actually SAY no when she means no, and then maybe leave if the boy keeps trying to “pressure” her after she says no. So I think that there are probably MANY “false” allegations (from the boy’s perspective) but which the girl fervently believes because this is what girls are being taught these days. They’re always victims. |
Wut? You're right it's not a balancing test since false accusations are so incredibly rare and it's extraordinarily rare for an innocent person to be imprisoned. In contrast, people get away with crimes all the time. So for you to suggest the exception is a bigger concern than the norm? Wild. |