Lack of Romamce Among Gen Z teens

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The boys are terrified of accusations of sexual assault and that’s frankly realistic.


100%

I have two sons who witnessed a close family friend go through a false SA report. They saw the fallout from it. They saw his life fall apart and still see how hard he's worked to rebuild a tiny semblance of normalcy for himself years later. They saw him have to change his name and move across the country to even be able to live because no matter what, once the accusation is out there, you are forever guilty in the public's eyes.

Both date but only do so in group settings. They make sure to not spend too much alone time with girls without others present. It's sad it has come to this, honestly.


How do you know it was false?


Not the PP but in the case that I know about the accuser sent a text message to someone else saying she made it all up because she was mad at the boy. The person receiving the text message screenshotted it and saved it. That didn’t stop the boy’s life from being entirely derailed.


Same at our HS, 3 girls lied about a football player. One girl cracked and confessed. Texts proved it.



Overwhelmingly girls don't lie. They very often walk back accusations out of fear and social pressure.



Exactly. These boy moms are crazy. Like they somehow think the ratio of made-up accusations are anywhere near reported actual SA - let alone all SA (reported and unreported.)

I was SA’d and never reported it out of embarrassment because I was drunk and shouldn’t have been. Looking back I am 99% sure I was drugged because it didn’t make sense. But I didn’t want to go thru it all. And that was without social media.


DP, (and this is something your post made me think of, I am not questioning whether or not you were assaulted) but honestly I think it’s a huge problem that we are basically teaching girls that they have no responsibility over their own safety/sexual decision making when they are drunk. If a man and a woman are BOTH drunk, and they have drunken sex that one or both later regrets, WHY is it that the woman is assumed to be a victim and the man is assumed to be a criminal? (And obviously if someone is drugged this is a different story.).

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that men in their right mind don’t also sometimes take advantage of drunk women; I am merely saying that in a typical situation it’s more nuanced than man = bad, woman = good.


My daughter went to a nerdy small engineering college and even at that school the amount of roofies and reported drugged SA’s was very high.

I am not PP but drugging females is a very popular thing in college. The girls have 1-2 drinks and get blacked out. That is not normal. Not at all. Two fraternities were shut down after a ton of roofies were confiscated. After multiple reports.

But when you wake up middle of the night or next day, and you feel groggy you either have to go get tested and take kit. Or you think I drank too much and made a mistake.


Do moms no longer teach their daughters to watch their drinks being poured and keep them with you and covered with your hand at all times? Do we no longer teacher our daughters to look out for their girlfriends (eg if you go to the party together you leave together)?

I understand roofies are a thing, believe me, but I was taught the above common sense precautions almost 30 years ago…


Moms? Yeah, this is definitely something only women should teach their daughters. Gosh.

A more valid question would be do parents no longer teach their sons not to engage in criminal behavior.

You’re like the police chief in Australia who suggested a curfew for women when a rapist was at large— newsflash everyone, the rapist wasn’t a woman. Start putting these men in prison and stop blaming their victims for…not having a hand over their drink at all times…?


I really hope that you’re being deliberately provocative with this response. There are so many things wrong with this worldview.

I prefer my daughter know simple steps she can take to keep herself safe (as much as she can control, obviously) rather than just sending her out into the world completely blind to reality and hoping that no one will ever want to harm her.

Teaching your daughter that she is the first and most important line of defense in her own safety is not victim blaming. I actually think it’s empowering.


Teaching your daughter to take precautions is wise. But all the precautions in the world cannot necessarily keep your daughter safe from a committed attacker.

You know what will? That attacker having been raised by parents who told him from the same age that drugging people was unacceptable.

The #boymoms (but really, parents) have a lot to answer for.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The boys are terrified of accusations of sexual assault and that’s frankly realistic.


100%

I have two sons who witnessed a close family friend go through a false SA report. They saw the fallout from it. They saw his life fall apart and still see how hard he's worked to rebuild a tiny semblance of normalcy for himself years later. They saw him have to change his name and move across the country to even be able to live because no matter what, once the accusation is out there, you are forever guilty in the public's eyes.

Both date but only do so in group settings. They make sure to not spend too much alone time with girls without others present. It's sad it has come to this, honestly.


How do you know it was false?


Not the PP but in the case that I know about the accuser sent a text message to someone else saying she made it all up because she was mad at the boy. The person receiving the text message screenshotted it and saved it. That didn’t stop the boy’s life from being entirely derailed.


Same at our HS, 3 girls lied about a football player. One girl cracked and confessed. Texts proved it.



Overwhelmingly girls don't lie. They very often walk back accusations out of fear and social pressure.



Exactly. These boy moms are crazy. Like they somehow think the ratio of made-up accusations are anywhere near reported actual SA - let alone all SA (reported and unreported.)

I was SA’d and never reported it out of embarrassment because I was drunk and shouldn’t have been. Looking back I am 99% sure I was drugged because it didn’t make sense. But I didn’t want to go thru it all. And that was without social media.


DP, (and this is something your post made me think of, I am not questioning whether or not you were assaulted) but honestly I think it’s a huge problem that we are basically teaching girls that they have no responsibility over their own safety/sexual decision making when they are drunk. If a man and a woman are BOTH drunk, and they have drunken sex that one or both later regrets, WHY is it that the woman is assumed to be a victim and the man is assumed to be a criminal? (And obviously if someone is drugged this is a different story.).

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that men in their right mind don’t also sometimes take advantage of drunk women; I am merely saying that in a typical situation it’s more nuanced than man = bad, woman = good.


My daughter went to a nerdy small engineering college and even at that school the amount of roofies and reported drugged SA’s was very high.

I am not PP but drugging females is a very popular thing in college. The girls have 1-2 drinks and get blacked out. That is not normal. Not at all. Two fraternities were shut down after a ton of roofies were confiscated. After multiple reports.

But when you wake up middle of the night or next day, and you feel groggy you either have to go get tested and take kit. Or you think I drank too much and made a mistake.


Do moms no longer teach their daughters to watch their drinks being poured and keep them with you and covered with your hand at all times? Do we no longer teacher our daughters to look out for their girlfriends (eg if you go to the party together you leave together)?

I understand roofies are a thing, believe me, but I was taught the above common sense precautions almost 30 years ago…


Moms? Yeah, this is definitely something only women should teach their daughters. Gosh.

A more valid question would be do parents no longer teach their sons not to engage in criminal behavior.

You’re like the police chief in Australia who suggested a curfew for women when a rapist was at large— newsflash everyone, the rapist wasn’t a woman. Start putting these men in prison and stop blaming their victims for…not having a hand over their drink at all times…?


I really hope that you’re being deliberately provocative with this response. There are so many things wrong with this worldview.

I prefer my daughter know simple steps she can take to keep herself safe (as much as she can control, obviously) rather than just sending her out into the world completely blind to reality and hoping that no one will ever want to harm her.

Teaching your daughter that she is the first and most important line of defense in her own safety is not victim blaming. I actually think it’s empowering.


Teaching your daughter to take precautions is wise. But all the precautions in the world cannot necessarily keep your daughter safe from a committed attacker.

You know what will? That attacker having been raised by parents who told him from the same age that drugging people was unacceptable.

The #boymoms (but really, parents) have a lot to answer for.


Haha, you’re too much! I’m picturing George Costanza right now. “Was that wrong? If only someone had TOLD ME that sort of thing was frowned upon!”
Anonymous
I don’t have sons, so I can’t really teach my sons not to be rapists, since I don’t have any. I don’t really trust other parents to do that - and frankly some people are just born rotten anyway.

Teaching your daughter how to protect herself is just like defensive driving.
Anonymous
It is impossible to take anyone seriously who uses the phrase #boymom. It’s such a sexist and regressive term.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have sons, so I can’t really teach my sons not to be rapists, since I don’t have any. I don’t really trust other parents to do that - and frankly some people are just born rotten anyway.

Teaching your daughter how to protect herself is just like defensive driving.


Right? I honestly can’t tell if some of these women are serious.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The boys are terrified of accusations of sexual assault and that’s frankly realistic.


100%

I have two sons who witnessed a close family friend go through a false SA report. They saw the fallout from it. They saw his life fall apart and still see how hard he's worked to rebuild a tiny semblance of normalcy for himself years later. They saw him have to change his name and move across the country to even be able to live because no matter what, once the accusation is out there, you are forever guilty in the public's eyes.

Both date but only do so in group settings. They make sure to not spend too much alone time with girls without others present. It's sad it has come to this, honestly.


How do you know it was false?


Not the PP but in the case that I know about the accuser sent a text message to someone else saying she made it all up because she was mad at the boy. The person receiving the text message screenshotted it and saved it. That didn’t stop the boy’s life from being entirely derailed.


Same at our HS, 3 girls lied about a football player. One girl cracked and confessed. Texts proved it.



Overwhelmingly girls don't lie. They very often walk back accusations out of fear and social pressure.



Exactly. These boy moms are crazy. Like they somehow think the ratio of made-up accusations are anywhere near reported actual SA - let alone all SA (reported and unreported.)

I was SA’d and never reported it out of embarrassment because I was drunk and shouldn’t have been. Looking back I am 99% sure I was drugged because it didn’t make sense. But I didn’t want to go thru it all. And that was without social media.


DP, (and this is something your post made me think of, I am not questioning whether or not you were assaulted) but honestly I think it’s a huge problem that we are basically teaching girls that they have no responsibility over their own safety/sexual decision making when they are drunk. If a man and a woman are BOTH drunk, and they have drunken sex that one or both later regrets, WHY is it that the woman is assumed to be a victim and the man is assumed to be a criminal? (And obviously if someone is drugged this is a different story.).

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that men in their right mind don’t also sometimes take advantage of drunk women; I am merely saying that in a typical situation it’s more nuanced than man = bad, woman = good.


My daughter went to a nerdy small engineering college and even at that school the amount of roofies and reported drugged SA’s was very high.

I am not PP but drugging females is a very popular thing in college. The girls have 1-2 drinks and get blacked out. That is not normal. Not at all. Two fraternities were shut down after a ton of roofies were confiscated. After multiple reports.

But when you wake up middle of the night or next day, and you feel groggy you either have to go get tested and take kit. Or you think I drank too much and made a mistake.


Do moms no longer teach their daughters to watch their drinks being poured and keep them with you and covered with your hand at all times? Do we no longer teacher our daughters to look out for their girlfriends (eg if you go to the party together you leave together)?

I understand roofies are a thing, believe me, but I was taught the above common sense precautions almost 30 years ago…


Moms? Yeah, this is definitely something only women should teach their daughters. Gosh.

A more valid question would be do parents no longer teach their sons not to engage in criminal behavior.

You’re like the police chief in Australia who suggested a curfew for women when a rapist was at large— newsflash everyone, the rapist wasn’t a woman. Start putting these men in prison and stop blaming their victims for…not having a hand over their drink at all times…?


I really hope that you’re being deliberately provocative with this response. There are so many things wrong with this worldview.

I prefer my daughter know simple steps she can take to keep herself safe (as much as she can control, obviously) rather than just sending her out into the world completely blind to reality and hoping that no one will ever want to harm her.

Teaching your daughter that she is the first and most important line of defense in her own safety is not victim blaming. I actually think it’s empowering.


Teaching your daughter to take precautions is wise. But all the precautions in the world cannot necessarily keep your daughter safe from a committed attacker.

You know what will? That attacker having been raised by parents who told him from the same age that drugging people was unacceptable.

The #boymoms (but really, parents) have a lot to answer for.


Haha, you’re too much! I’m picturing George Costanza right now. “Was that wrong? If only someone had TOLD ME that sort of thing was frowned upon!”


Where do you think this kind of college student comes from? Do you think he’s raised in a household of accountability and respect?

Look at the parents of Adam Lanza, Brian Laundrie and Ethan Crumbley and tell me boys are being raised in this country to be accountable. Laundrie is an especially dispicable case because his parents covered for him even when another set of parents didn’t know if their daughter was dead or alive.

Again, that’s the ultimate outcome of this kind of #boymom parenting.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have sons, so I can’t really teach my sons not to be rapists, since I don’t have any. I don’t really trust other parents to do that - and frankly some people are just born rotten anyway.

Teaching your daughter how to protect herself is just like defensive driving.


And when there’s a car accident because
another driver commits a crime, does anyone ask at the scene whether she’s taken defensive driving?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have sons, so I can’t really teach my sons not to be rapists, since I don’t have any. I don’t really trust other parents to do that - and frankly some people are just born rotten anyway.

Teaching your daughter how to protect herself is just like defensive driving.


Right? I honestly can’t tell if some of these women are serious.


And defensive driving does nothing if a drunk driver serves and hits you head on. But keep blaming the victims.

Boyhood are disgusting in every way possible
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It is impossible to take anyone seriously who uses the phrase #boymom. It’s such a sexist and regressive term.


But this thread shows how boymoms are blaming girls for not being defensive enough.

So pretty typical
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is impossible to take anyone seriously who uses the phrase #boymom. It’s such a sexist and regressive term.


But this thread shows how boymoms are blaming girls for not being defensive enough.

So pretty typical


Not at all sure where you got that from this thread. But I hope it made you feel better to post it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is impossible to take anyone seriously who uses the phrase #boymom. It’s such a sexist and regressive term.


But this thread shows how boymoms are blaming girls for not being defensive enough.

So pretty typical


Not at all sure where you got that from this thread. But I hope it made you feel better to post it.


The whole post that says “omg why aren’t girls keeping their hands over their drinks all night if they don’t want to be drugged and raped” is a great example.
Anonymous
I haven’t even read the responses but I can guarantee most are not just justifying forcible rape like you’re acting like.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I haven’t even read the responses but I can guarantee most are not just justifying forcible rape like you’re acting like.


Just casually shifting the blame where it really belongs— these irresponsible girls and their irresponsible moms not teaching them right, getting these good boys in trouble by being drugged and raped.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I haven’t even read the responses but I can guarantee most are not just justifying forcible rape like you’re acting like.


Ouch, this is absolutely disgusting.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have sons, so I can’t really teach my sons not to be rapists, since I don’t have any. I don’t really trust other parents to do that - and frankly some people are just born rotten anyway.

Teaching your daughter how to protect herself is just like defensive driving.


And when there’s a car accident because
another driver commits a crime, does anyone ask at the scene whether she’s taken defensive driving?


Of course not, but if she is thrown from the vehicle and dies at the scene, I do think it’s worth asking why she chose not to wear her seatbelt.
post reply Forum Index » Tweens and Teens
Message Quick Reply
Go to: