What do you think of adults who never learned to drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I drive, but that analogy doesn't work for me. For instance, my husband doesn't cook because he's terrible at it, I'm very good and enjoy cooking, and we are all happier if I am the family chef. He does other things.

It would be a problem if I minded it or wanted to share the load, but I don't.

Couples get to balance things according to their own preferences, it doesn't make it a weapon not to split every chore 50/50.

Driving is not a chore. It's a necessity (not including in cities).

Well in the above scenario it’s not a necessity for both spouses. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

If someone knows they lack the skills to drive safely, why do they need to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket and get a neuropsych eval or something to get a diagnosis? Just to satisfy you?

Yes. That is exactly what I am suggesting.

LOL. No wonder our country is so screwed up! Unqualified people in every position as far as the eye can see!

Self-awareness and knowing one’s limitations is apparently entitled and juvenile according to the DCUM brain trust.

It was sarcasm, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

If someone knows they lack the skills to drive safely, why do they need to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket and get a neuropsych eval or something to get a diagnosis? Just to satisfy you?

Yes. That is exactly what I am suggesting.

LOL. No wonder our country is so screwed up! Unqualified people in every position as far as the eye can see!

Self-awareness and knowing one’s limitations is apparently entitled and juvenile according to the DCUM brain trust.

It was sarcasm, obviously.

Not obvious (obviously). Have you actually READ this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder about the couples where one person doesn't drive, not due to disability or other obvious reason. Do they just rely on their partners to do all of the things that involve driving? What is they have kids? It seems in those cases like the couple has agreed that one of them is allowed to be a juvenile, in essence.

It doesn't seem juvenile. Usually it would be the female not driving, which would be sexist to say it's juvenile. In one marriage where the man was much older, the woman would drive. In that case, it would seem the opposite of being juvenile.

The woman in this scenario is infantilized. Maybe she accepts that role. Maybe she's some anti-feminist trad wife.

She has leaned into being unable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

If someone knows they lack the skills to drive safely, why do they need to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket and get a neuropsych eval or something to get a diagnosis? Just to satisfy you?

Yes. That is exactly what I am suggesting.

LOL. No wonder our country is so screwed up! Unqualified people in every position as far as the eye can see!

Self-awareness and knowing one’s limitations is apparently entitled and juvenile according to the DCUM brain trust.

It was sarcasm, obviously.

Not obvious (obviously). Have you actually READ this thread?

Some said "everyone should get a diagnosis to satisfy a rando internet person" and the response was "yes that is exactly what I want" and you think that ISN'T sarcasm?

Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

Pre-Uber, I used to think it was very odd for someone not living in a big city. I still find it somewhat weird for those not in a big city, but I'd never speak that to anyone.

My cousin is like this. Driving terrified her so she never learned and my aunt & uncle allowed that to happen. She didn't have any kind of traumatic events that scared her either.

She lives in a small town in NC. Her husband drives her to and from work each day. She does her weekly grocery shopping with her neighbor or her husband takes her.

I could never imagine being so dependent on others in that way. The town she lives in has 1 taxi service with like 2 or 3 cars. She's never taken an Uber or Lyft in her town because no one in her town drives for them, but she's used both while traveling for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

If someone knows they lack the skills to drive safely, why do they need to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket and get a neuropsych eval or something to get a diagnosis? Just to satisfy you?

Yes. That is exactly what I am suggesting.

LOL. No wonder our country is so screwed up! Unqualified people in every position as far as the eye can see!

Self-awareness and knowing one’s limitations is apparently entitled and juvenile according to the DCUM brain trust.

It was sarcasm, obviously.

Not obvious (obviously). Have you actually READ this thread?

Some said "everyone should get a diagnosis to satisfy a rando internet person" and the response was "yes that is exactly what I want" and you think that ISN'T sarcasm?

Oh dear.

Once again, have you read this thread? I’m sorry that you lack effective communication skills. It is difficult convey sarcasm in a written discussion, and it is nearly impossible if you haven’t been able to comprehend the discussion.

But just as people can potentially improve their driving with practice, I’m sure someday your hilarious, sarcastic comments will actually land!

[Anonymous]

I assume they are either a) incredibly wealthy (e.g. have always lived somewhere super walkable like NYC or can afford a private driver) or b) are incredibly poor and have to rely on walking/public transport.

I guess there could be some younger people who are really progressive (like GGW style) and build their lives around biking, using public transport, Uber-ing, etc.

FWIW I would love to be rich enough to just never need a license. I hate driving. I feel so plebeian doing it. I don’t care how fancy the car or how open the road, there’s nothing glamorous about car culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I don't think that's equivalent because there are ways to prepare food that are less likely to burn the house down (use a microwave! Have a fire extinguisher handy! Make a cold sandwich!) but it's not as easy to mitigate risk when driving. If you hit someone, they really could die.

If you set fire to the house, someone really could die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The people who get their self esteem by putting down others is growing every minute. It's been true forever that insecure people abound and they live to jump on the littlest weakness of another person. You know they're actually the ones with low iqs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume they are either a) incredibly wealthy (e.g. have always lived somewhere super walkable like NYC or can afford a private driver) or b) are incredibly poor and have to rely on walking/public transport.

I guess there could be some younger people who are really progressive (like GGW style) and build their lives around biking, using public transport, Uber-ing, etc.

FWIW I would love to be rich enough to just never need a license. I hate driving. I feel so plebeian doing it. I don’t care how fancy the car or how open the road, there’s nothing glamorous about car culture.

Having known a few people who never learned to drive, it was about one of two things:
1) having grown up in a city using solely public transportation and taxis, never having had a car, and therefore seeing no need or ability to get a license
2) the "oh I'm so scared of driving" people who profess that they are too fragile to drive. Those people don't get licenses and don't even know if they could drive because they never tried. They constantly ask others for rides even though they don't live within walking distance of public transit (not even a bus).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume they are either a) incredibly wealthy (e.g. have always lived somewhere super walkable like NYC or can afford a private driver) or b) are incredibly poor and have to rely on walking/public transport.

I guess there could be some younger people who are really progressive (like GGW style) and build their lives around biking, using public transport, Uber-ing, etc.

FWIW I would love to be rich enough to just never need a license. I hate driving. I feel so plebeian doing it. I don’t care how fancy the car or how open the road, there’s nothing glamorous about car culture.

I live in DC and don’t drive. I think it’s probably cheaper or break-even for me to uber periodically than make the car payment, gas, and insurance. And it’s healthier because I walk and bike most places. With grocery delivery services there’s even less motivation … I do wish lately I could drive on vacation or on the weekends to get out of town, but I’m so busy it’s not a big deal anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You're confusing car ownership and knowing/learning how to drive. Yes, car ownership is a pain. But the basic skill of knowing how to operate a car (and wanting to learn) is very much about freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You are equating "knowing how to drive" with "owning a car." You can know how to drive so that you can rent a car if you need (or use one of those car-sharing services, if they still exist). You can know how to drive so you can rent the uhaul to move your big piece of furniture.