What do you think of adults who never learned to drive?

[Anonymous]

I assume maybe they grew up in the city or have seizures or another medical issue or just don't like it. I don't see it as a big deal or judge UNLESS the person tries to make me Uber. Been there. If you don't drive then you do need to pay for Uber, or take the bus. I paid for my car and gas and maintenance and I don't want to take more time to get to work, pick up my kid or whatever because you think it's no trouble. I was really stunned when someone I had just gotten to know wanted me to pity her and schlep her around. She was planning to take driving lessons so no medical issues and she was much closer friends with others in the neighborhood so I guess they declined as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom grew up in NYC with six sisters. They all moved out to the suburbs and she and 3 other sisters learned to drive in their 20s.

The three sisters who didn't learn how to drive also did not take much agency over their lives - they were homemakers or secretaries and their husbands picked them up and dropped them off, they did not have a lot of outside hobbies or activities.

Those 3 sisters (out of 7 girls) are the only ones to suffer from dementia in their 70s. One passed away, and the remaining 2 are quite advanced. The other sisters are all pretty healthy cognitively in their 80s.

I'm not trying to say not driving = cognitive decline, but certainly, I see a correlation in my own family between low personal agency and declining cognitive health.

It feels like the women who never learned to pay bills, get a bank account, or manage whatever money they have. I guess it's a generational thing at this point (I hope?). Is it still common for women to just not learn to drive?

It depends. You’re asking a group that leans towards UMC — so they likely had access to available cars and ongoing instruction and opportunities to practice; who, despite the name of the site, tend to live very suburban lives.
As a former New Yorker, there are lots of us who never learned to drive — because we had other available options.

What’s interesting is that thanks to public transportation, I had a huge amount of freedom from the time I was about 12. I used public transportation for school — and pretty much everywhere else that I wanted to go. That’s possibly a few years earlier than the kids who lived in less urban areas who relied upon their parents for transportation.

But that doesn't seem gendered, right? NYers (and other people raised in areas with excellent public transpo) of all genders would seem equally likely to not get licenses/learn to drive.

As I guess, I’d say that more males learn to drive, partly because of interest : vroom, vroom, and partly as a potential jib skill, but I don’t the differences are very sharp, at least among younger people in areas with lots of transportation options. That’s just my take on it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think how close that could have been me.

I had anxiety along w/an irrational fear of being behind the wheel of a car that I did not get my license until I was 32.

At school they scare the living daylights out of kids about driving. It's no wonder they don't want to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom grew up in NYC with six sisters. They all moved out to the suburbs and she and 3 other sisters learned to drive in their 20s.

The three sisters who didn't learn how to drive also did not take much agency over their lives - they were homemakers or secretaries and their husbands picked them up and dropped them off, they did not have a lot of outside hobbies or activities.

Those 3 sisters (out of 7 girls) are the only ones to suffer from dementia in their 70s. One passed away, and the remaining 2 are quite advanced. The other sisters are all pretty healthy cognitively in their 80s.

I'm not trying to say not driving = cognitive decline, but certainly, I see a correlation in my own family between low personal agency and declining cognitive health.

My two grandmothers who were born in the 1900s drove and both had dementia so I don't agree with your theory. Non drivers are probably more likely to walk places, and that kind of exercise can help prevent dementia.

[Anonymous]

The people I know had traditional and controlling parents. If they got into a relationship with someone who could help them, they learned in their 20s. If they went from a controlling home to a controlling partner, they might never learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think how close that could have been me.

I had anxiety along w/an irrational fear of being behind the wheel of a car that I did not get my license until I was 32.

At school they scare the living daylights out of kids about driving. It's no wonder they don't want to learn.

I had an abusive controlling ex who absolutely did not want me to learn and scared the crap out of me about it and everything else along with other tactics. He also did not want me to get a better job, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a middle aged woman who does not drive but is a diehard feminist. I think it’s contradictory.

Is it contradictory that I vote for every woman to be able to have access to safe and legal abortion but don't want to get an abortion myself?

I don't think so.

It kind of is, actually. Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a middle aged woman who does not drive but is a diehard feminist. I think it’s contradictory.

Is it contradictory that I vote for every woman to be able to have access to safe and legal abortion but don't want to get an abortion myself?

I don't think so.

It kind of is, actually. Yes.

Why is that? Explain, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they grew up in a city. Then I think nothing more of it.

+ 1. If I lived in NYC I wouldn't learn to drive.

Which is exactly why people who live in nyc should be regarded as less sophisticated and educated than people from West Virginia or Alabama. Because those hayseeds can all drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a middle aged woman who does not drive but is a diehard feminist. I think it’s contradictory.

Is it contradictory that I vote for every woman to be able to have access to safe and legal abortion but don't want to get an abortion myself?

I don't think so.

It kind of is, actually. Yes.

SO in order to be supportive of LEBTQ I have to actually be in a lesbian relationship. You're not very bright.

[Anonymous]

I assume they are needy or have a mental/physical issue that prevents driving. There are very few situations in the US where you can exist without a car so it's kind of like never having a job as an adult.

[Anonymous]

It's lazy af and I'm from NYC. I can drive a stick too. There is no excuse not to learn how to drive it's a basic life skill whether you ride the bus, taxi, subway you still need to know how to drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

I know two. Women whom grew up in NYC and didn't learn to drive until they were in their 30's
There was an incident on the set of "Dallas" when Barbara Bel Gedes was told by the director to "get in car and drive away." She told him that she grew up in NYC and never learned to drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

I don't really think anything. But I'm not giving rides out just b/c they don't want to learn. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's lazy af and I'm from NYC. I can drive a stick too. There is no excuse not to learn how to drive it's a basic life skill whether you ride the bus, taxi, subway you still need to know how to drive.

Actually, if you ride the bus, taxi, or subway, you do NOT need to know how to drive. That’s what the driver is for.