What do you think of adults who never learned to drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

Who cares if some people Uber everywhere? They are creating jobs, stimulating the economy and it probably costs way less than owning and maintaining a car.

Also probably better for the environment as they are less likely to Uber for trivial reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I can and do drive short distances as needed, but otherwise my DH drives 100% of the time and it works great for us. He is the more confident driver and prefers it. I’m a great navigator and and DJ (and will manage handing out kid snacks or anything else). Out of respect, I don’t just zone out on my phone or otherwise check out (unless it’s a long road trip and he is fine with me getting in a snooze). But most of the time I’ll chug coffee and plug along with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

Who cares if some people Uber everywhere? They are creating jobs, stimulating the economy and it probably costs way less than owning and maintaining a car.

Also probably better for the environment as they are less likely to Uber for trivial reasons.

In a couple, weaponized incompetence (presuming car ownership).

As a friend, the mooch that always asks for a ride.

But yeah, I guess the people that like the weird power imbalance in their relationship where one is reliant on the other (presuming the regular need to drive places), or the friend that never asks and never expects offers, they are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

Who cares if some people Uber everywhere? They are creating jobs, stimulating the economy and it probably costs way less than owning and maintaining a car.

Also probably better for the environment as they are less likely to Uber for trivial reasons.

We did not have a car when we lived I. Europe and it was heavenly - we had trains/ trams/ metro/ buses and good urban bike paths.

We are stuck with driving here in DC l.

If some people choose not to drive or own a car - all power to them. I wish the public transport system was such that it was possible for more people .

We have to change our ways but it is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I drive, but that analogy doesn't work for me. For instance, my husband doesn't cook because he's terrible at it, I'm very good and enjoy cooking, and we are all happier if I am the family chef. He does other things.

It would be a problem if I minded it or wanted to share the load, but I don't.

Couples get to balance things according to their own preferences, it doesn't make it a weapon not to split every chore 50/50.

Driving is not a chore. It's a necessity (not including in cities).

Umm most chores are necessities.

NBD to divide things up based on who prefers doing what. My DH does almost all our driving and I keep our family of 5 afloat with clean laundry. He feels comfortable driving us everywhere and I WAH so I can keep laundry going during the week. Works just fine for us, no “weaponizing.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and are now in their 40s.

Not because of any trauma or anything, just didn't get around to it.

Have to rely on everyone else to get rides or Uber everywhere.

Who cares if some people Uber everywhere? They are creating jobs, stimulating the economy and it probably costs way less than owning and maintaining a car.

Also probably better for the environment as they are less likely to Uber for trivial reasons.

In a couple, weaponized incompetence (presuming car ownership).

As a friend, the mooch that always asks for a ride.

But yeah, I guess the people that like the weird power imbalance in their relationship where one is reliant on the other (presuming the regular need to drive places), or the friend that never asks and never expects offers, they are fine.

I can see how that would be annoying - we never mooched off family and friends when we were carless - that would get old quickly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I drive, but that analogy doesn't work for me. For instance, my husband doesn't cook because he's terrible at it, I'm very good and enjoy cooking, and we are all happier if I am the family chef. He does other things.

It would be a problem if I minded it or wanted to share the load, but I don't.

Couples get to balance things according to their own preferences, it doesn't make it a weapon not to split every chore 50/50.

Driving is not a chore. It's a necessity (not including in cities).

Umm most chores are necessities.

NBD to divide things up based on who prefers doing what. My DH does almost all our driving and I keep our family of 5 afloat with clean laundry. He feels comfortable driving us everywhere and I WAH so I can keep laundry going during the week. Works just fine for us, no “weaponizing.”

Do you know how to drive? Does he know how to do laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You're confusing car ownership and knowing/learning how to drive. Yes, car ownership is a pain. But [b]the basic skill of knowing how to operate a car (and wanting to learn) is very much about freedom.

Yes. I grew up down South with two grandmothers who never drove and a mom who didn't get a license until she was 30 (I was 10) and watching the way they had to depend on others all of the time made me resolute as a kid that I would get my license as soon as I turned 16 and I would learn to drive manual shift. I never wanted to ever be "stuck" waiting on someone to drive me around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You are equating "knowing how to drive" with "owning a car." You can know how to drive so that you can rent a car if you need (or use one of those car-sharing services, if they still exist). You can know how to drive so you can rent the uhaul to move your big piece of furniture.

But you can also have freedom with the ability to order an Uber or pick up the phone to call movers to lug your furniture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You are equating "knowing how to drive" with "owning a car." You can know how to drive so that you can rent a car if you need (or use one of those car-sharing services, if they still exist). You can know how to drive so you can rent the uhaul to move your big piece of furniture.

But you can also have freedom with the ability to order an Uber or pick up the phone to call movers to lug your furniture.

Uber doesn’t exist everywhere. I’ve been to plenty of vacation spots without Ubers. If I relied on them I would have been very restricted in my ability to travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You are equating "knowing how to drive" with "owning a car." You can know how to drive so that you can rent a car if you need (or use one of those car-sharing services, if they still exist). You can know how to drive so you can rent the uhaul to move your big piece of furniture.

But you can also have freedom with the ability to order an Uber or pick up the phone to call movers to lug your furniture.

Uber doesn’t exist everywhere. I’ve been to plenty of vacation spots without Ubers. If I relied on them I would have been very restricted in my ability to travel.

And everywhere they do exist they aren't necessarily reliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have lived in a big urban center or city all their lives (like NYC) then I think nothing of it.

If they live in a place like Northern VA or the burbs, I think they must be incredibly emotionally stunted. [url]Driving isn't just about getting from Point A to Point B - it's about independence and freedom[b]. I get that learning to drive is nerve racking for a lot of people, but emotionally stable people have a stronger sense of independence to want to overcome that nervousness.

It’s funny you say this because I feel entirely the opposite. I do have a license and drive, but it’s entirely a function of needing to get from point A to B. Car ownership is the opposite of freedom to me. It’s so much stupid maintenance and stress. My car is due for an inspection, but I just don’t really want to spend any of my free time dealing with that. I hate the annual property tax. I hate unexpected car repairs. I hate paying for insurance. I hate pumping gas. I hate the actual act of driving and dealing with traffic and idiots on the road like drunk drivers. The idea of the car as freedom is brainwashing by the auto industry when really it is capitalism making us entirely reliant on foreign oil drilling to just leave our homes.

I’m not saying personal vehicles shouldn’t have ever had a place in our transit system, but I think it’s a huge shame we abandoned centuries of city/town planning to create a society entirely around the presumption we’d all forever continue to use something that was invented a little over 100 years ago.

You are equating "knowing how to drive" with "owning a car." You can know how to drive so that you can rent a car if you need (or use one of those car-sharing services, if they still exist). You can know how to drive so you can rent the uhaul to move your big piece of furniture.

But you can also have freedom with the ability to order an Uber or pick up the phone to call movers to lug your furniture.

Get out of your bubble. Uber doesn't exist everwhere. I guarantee you Jane Hillbilly who never learned to drive is not calling an uber. That's the freedom of knowing how to drive. Not necessarily driving all the time but having the ABILITY to do it if and when you want to.

[Anonymous]

100% agree w the weaponization incompetence

And also keeping one infantile

No one is saying you have to drive or own a car. But having the skill.

I can afford to send my shirts to the dry cleaner but I also know how to iron one if I need to.

I love it when my partner drives. I need a break, I drive to work, the kids around, errands so it’s nice to not have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in a couple with a car, the non-driver (outside of disability) actually is weaponizing incompetence. Imagine some dude saying "oh I can't cook dinner I might burn the house down" and the wife saying "ah he's got cooking anxiety so it's ok if I have to do all the cooking."

I drive, but that analogy doesn't work for me. For instance, my husband doesn't cook because he's terrible at it, I'm very good and enjoy cooking, and we are all happier if I am the family chef. He does other things.

It would be a problem if I minded it or wanted to share the load, but I don't.

Couples get to balance things according to their own preferences, it doesn't make it a weapon not to split every chore 50/50.

Driving is not a chore. It's a necessity (not including in cities).

Umm most chores are necessities.

NBD to divide things up based on who prefers doing what. My DH does almost all our driving and I keep our family of 5 afloat with clean laundry. He feels comfortable driving us everywhere and I WAH so I can keep laundry going during the week. Works just fine for us, no “weaponizing.”

But you can drive. You are making a choice not to and you both have determined to divide household labor. That’s great.

So if god forbid one of you got sick, broke an arm, had to leave town the other would be able to do the chore and not have to be dependent on hired help or just suffer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my closest friends doesn’t drive because she has epilepsy. It’s well controlled, but not worth the risk. I sometimes feel like I would see her more often if we could just meet up instead of me picking her up and/or driving her home. It’s not her choice though. If she just didn’t drive or chose not to own a car, I doubt we’d be as close because it would grate on me over time.

I have vertigo that strikes suddenly. I drive locally in my area because I know the roads and where I can pull over immediately into a driveway/parking lot but driving longer distances is risky.