What do you think of adults who never learned to drive?

[Anonymous]

I know 4 adults that can't drive.

One is in his 70s and he has a lot of anxiety about dealing with tradespeople; having things done on his house etc. He is independent and can afford to hire a driver when need be; has the bus schedule memorized etc. He lives in a very urban area. But the skill itself would show him a lot.

The other 3 (ages 30s and 20s). So many excuses and whining from them. They are always trying to get rides or create co-dependent relationships with someone who drives.

They do live in urban areas; but no skill so they develop unhealthy skills to compensate.

One was in a car accident so she uses that as an excuse. She hasn't dealt with her emotions with it other than to say it was so traumatic she could never drive. She's perfectly happy to have her rich father spend hundreds on Ubers during the week.

[Anonymous]

I posted previously that I think it’s entitled. I do have a lot of family in NYC and the surrounding boroughs, and it’s pretty common in the older generations of my Italian/puerto Rican family that women simply didn’t learn to drive (actively discouraged/not allowed by spouses). In that case I am sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anything of it, as long as they're not bugging me for rides. That's their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is just a really bad driver. She stopped doing it in urban areas after several accidents that she caused. She will only drive in the rural area that she lives.

In her case - it’s a good thing for everyone’s safety.

Not exactly your question, but you sound judgy. There are many potential reasons.

One of my brothers is like this. He learned how to drive and has a license, but is intensely uncomfortable behind the wheel. It is simply better for everyone on the road if he does not drive at all - unless he were to go to therapy and intensive driving lessons. He lives in a walkable city (not DC), uses UBER or public transportation, and does just fine as far as I can tell.

[Anonymous]

I learned how to drive after I had kids. There's really no excuse for an adult not driving. It wasn't easy, and I failed a few times, but I made myself drive around the block daily, and years later I can drive anywhere.

I am not a great driver, but I am safe. And i have seen that people who don't drive lose agency over their lives.

[Anonymous]

I've never met anyone over like 20 who couldn't drive. I had an ex bf who couldn't learn to drive until 18 because his divorced parents fought about it and neither would sign off so that he could learn at 16.

[Anonymous]

It’s a positive

The less drivers out there the better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

Agree.

It also means: you expect me to drive you.

But I’m not interested and comfortable telling you no. We are probably not going to be friends.

[Anonymous]

Many people aren’t good drivers, for a variety of reasons. I think it’s best for all of us that people like this stay off the road.

I’m one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people aren’t good drivers, for a variety of reasons. I think it’s best for all of us that people like this stay off the road.

I’m one of them.

You refuse to learn and grow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder about the couples where one person doesn't drive, not due to disability or other obvious reason. Do they just rely on their partners to do all of the things that involve driving? What is they have kids? It seems in those cases like the couple has agreed that one of them is allowed to be a juvenile, in essence.

I'm the nondriver in a couple like this. We live in the city, so I use public transport for everything. I take my kids on it as well, and once my kids were old enough, they took it themselves. If we lived in the suburbs, I'd drive, because it's harder to avoid, but in the city, it's extremely easy to avoid driving, if you're willing to walk and your kids have been raised with the expectation that they will be walking/taking public transportation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people aren’t good drivers, for a variety of reasons. I think it’s best for all of us that people like this stay off the road.

I’m one of them.

Thank you for taking yourself off the road. I wish more people were like you.

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker who doesn't drive but doesn't live anywhere near public transportation. She is always asking for rides home from work. I always say no. Seems unprofessional to bum rides all of the time around work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder about the couples where one person doesn't drive, not due to disability or other obvious reason. Do they just rely on their partners to do all of the things that involve driving? What is they have kids? It seems in those cases like the couple has agreed that one of them is allowed to be a juvenile, in essence.

I'm the nondriver in a couple like this. We live in the city, so I use public transport for everything. I take my kids on it as well, and once my kids were old enough, they took it themselves. If we lived in the suburbs, I'd drive, because it's harder to avoid, but in the city, it's extremely easy to avoid driving, if you're willing to walk and your kids have been raised with the expectation that they will be walking/taking public transportation too.

Do you have a car?

What do you do when you travel? Would you rent a car?

[Anonymous]

I have anxiety driving on highways and unfamiliar roads. I'm cognizant that it's limiting, so try to practice frequently. When I'm traveling with family or friends I'm always the default navigator because there's where my strength is. It works out for everyone.