I overstepped and I don’t know how to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not your fault. They are being ridiculous. They're being very rude to your generosity. Return the gift and RSVP no to the shower. Your friendship is done

+1 I cannot even imagine. What ingrates. Return the gift (or not) but stop flagellating yourself for your generosity and don’t talk to them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP drop this person. They’re not a friend at all. Or do like being a martyr?

Totally agree. Or is your friend your charity case, and you need her to assuage your rich lady guilt?

[Anonymous]

You don’t buy the crib good lord, that’s so weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the crib good lord, that’s so weird

Then don’t put the crib on the registry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the crib good lord, that’s so weird

This is not a thing.

If you have a gift earmarked for someone specific it doesn’t go on registry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but I think you did overstep in buying the crib. Everyone knows that family buys that stuff.

I’ve been to, hosted, had showers thrown for me and this is the first I’m hearing that family buys the crib. Is this a thing? In what culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the crib!!!!! OP you are nuts. No wonder the friend and her family are upset!!

What's so special about the crib?

That and stroller/recliner are for family and the bff to get. I mean everyone knows that!

Those items are often bought by the couple themselves because it’s tacky AF to ask people to drop $500 or more on your baby. Yes, even family. If they want to do it, that’s lovely, but putting them on the registry at all is a jerk move.

This. Buy the expensive stuff yourself and let your guests buy fun things for the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the crib!!!!! OP you are nuts. No wonder the friend and her family are upset!!

What's so special about the crib?

That and stroller/recliner are for family and the bff to get. I mean everyone knows that!

Those items are often bought by the couple themselves because it’s tacky AF to ask people to drop $500 or more on your baby. Yes, even family. If they want to do it, that’s lovely, but putting them on the registry at all is a jerk move.

Not at all. A lot of times the person who registered gets a discount (15-20%) for items on the registry. Why shouldn’t someone put something on their registry so they can get a discount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same OP that posted about her friend saying a certain wine sounded good and the OP bought a bottle and the friend got pissed?

Yep that was me. Same friend too.

-Op

PP. I knew it when you wrote "They all keep insisting that isn’t the point and shouldn’t have tried to upstage them."

This is your friend's MO. She hints about things (putting this on the registry) then pretends she's mad that you went overboard, but she never declines the gift. I think you also tipped her too much for mailing you something? And she didn't return the money. She makes you feel bad, and then you're even more generous the next time. She's trying to make you feel ashamed, like you're the one who has to apologize to HER for buying her an incredibly generous gift, and now she has her family acting as flying monkeys. Very toxic. I am guessing that you are hosting the shower at your house, so why should she be offended by you spending the money, if she's letting you host her shower which is also something family does? You should call her bluff this time. Return the gift and give her a $20 gift card.

First, you need to end this friendship or sponsorship. You clearly have a troubled relationship with this person. Why do you keep at it?

Even if you weren’t the same person, if an item is on the registry it is up for purchase from anybody. If there is an item that is earmarked for family, or friends then You don’t put it on the registry!!.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your fault. They are being ridiculous. They're being very rude to your generosity. Return the gift and RSVP no to the shower. Your friendship is done

This is the only answer.

Seriously this. The audacity to criticize someone for buying an expensive baby gift is really just over the top. Is the friend in on this as well? Return the gift and decline the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but I think you did overstep in buying the crib. Everyone knows that family buys that stuff.

I didn't know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the crib!!!!! OP you are nuts. No wonder the friend and her family are upset!!

What's so special about the crib?

That and stroller/recliner are for family and the bff to get. I mean everyone knows that!

Nope didn't know that either. I bought both of those items myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not your fault. They are being ridiculous. They're being very rude to your generosity. Return the gift and RSVP no to the shower. Your friendship is done

+1

I wouldn't put up with that kind of drama after being generous. Move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same OP that posted about her friend saying a certain wine sounded good and the OP bought a bottle and the friend got pissed?

Yep that was me. Same friend too.

-Op

PP. I knew it when you wrote "They all keep insisting that isn’t the point and shouldn’t have tried to upstage them."

This is your friend's MO. She hints about things (putting this on the registry) then pretends she's mad that you went overboard, but she never declines the gift. I think you also tipped her too much for mailing you something? And she didn't return the money. She makes you feel bad, and then you're even more generous the next time. She's trying to make you feel ashamed, like you're the one who has to apologize to HER for buying her an incredibly generous gift, and now she has her family acting as flying monkeys. Very toxic. I am guessing that you are hosting the shower at your house, so why should she be offended by you spending the money, if she's letting you host her shower which is also something family does? You should call her bluff this time. Return the gift and give her a $20 gift card.

First, you need to end this friendship or sponsorship. You clearly have a troubled relationship with this person. Why do you keep at it?

Even if you weren’t the same person, if an item is on the registry it is up for purchase from anybody. If there is an item that is earmarked for family, or friends then You don’t put it on the registry!!.

OP, you will come here with more stories if you don't terminate this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:unless you bought like the crib or something...

Wait is this a cultural no no?

-OP

Anything on a registry is fair game.