I overstepped and I don’t know how to fix it.
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Anonymous
| I'd cancel the order, rsvp decline to the shower and ghost. Seriously. This is so breathtakingly rude and ungrateful. Be done with the lot of them. |
Anonymous
| Wow. What a set up, OP! I'm sorry this friend is so tacky. Cancel the order and be absolutely clear that the only thing you're guilty of is being excited for your friend and trying to express it by buying a gift that SHE CHOSE. No way I'd go to this shower. Decline. |
Anonymous
| Troll post. No one is this nice or naive. |
Anonymous
|
Agree with everyone above. Cancel your present, and buy like, a teether and burp cloths or something. Not sure about attending - she and her fam were so unbelievably rude about your generous present, that I have trouble believing they’ll be gracious to you at the event. Might not be fun.
At first I thought the people saying “Friendship OVER!” were being dramatic, but functionally, it’s kind of true. This experience teaches you that you all are not on the same page about how you think about “kid stuff”. She will hate-attend your birthday parties for your kid and roll her eyes w other people about how extravagant you were; you will hold back on sharing about your vacations or activities, and it will come across as condescending or pitying. Cancel your original present and buy a more modest one. They don’t get to complain so horribly to you and then say “That’s not the point!” when you offer to cancel just because they want to keep the monetary value of your present. And then you definitely would be upstaging them. Or, don’t cancel the present but don’t go and never talk to her again. |
Anonymous
You did nothing wrong! You generously bought your friend a gift that she registered for! If certain items were off-limits, that should have been disclosed. Imagine being upset about getting a lovely gift that you wanted. FFS. |
Anonymous
+ 1 |
Anonymous
| Just say, oh, if you don't want it, return it for something else you want and then decline the invitation.or if you've said you're going, have an emergency and don't attend. |
Anonymous
+1 I can't even anymore. How old are these people? This is just ridiculous. If they intended it to be for family, then they should not have put it on the registry. Good gravy! |
Anonymous
| unless you bought like the crib or something... |
Anonymous
+1 They sound terrible. Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished. In this case be glad you’ve seen their true colors and cut your loses. |
Anonymous
Agree |
Anonymous
Wait is this a cultural no no? -OP |
Anonymous
They're all normal ages. My friend is early 30s and her mom/aunts are 50-60. Her cousins are our age (25-35) as well. First she told me that it was excessive and that her family wanted to go in together on it. Then I gave her the suggestion of me cancelling if I can. Later on her mom and aunts began calling me about it. I didn't even know they would know who bought what until the gifts arrived. They assumed it was me or another friend. That friend denied it, and texted me a heads up that they were on the war path. |
Anonymous
Then it shouldn't have been on the registry! How were you supposed to know not to buy it? These people are crazy. |
Anonymous
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If you bought a crib, they might think you stole their thunder in buying one of THE most important items. It shouldn’t have been on the registry if their plan was to chip in and buy it. They may also be embarrassed because you spent more than they’re planning to spend, and embarrassed people often react with anger. What item did you buy? How much was it?
Return the item, but something more modest, and don’t blame your friend for her rude relatives. |