What would you have done? NYE and random young stranger

[Anonymous]

Use a bathroom? That’s what sidewalks are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s gotta suck to live where opening your door is a risk. I’d move.

That would be anywhere. Troll.

Maybe where you live, I haven’t locked my doors in 20 years. I have no desire to live like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t live in the DC area, but just saw this was posted last night on Nextdoor:

“A young girl rang my door bell at 9:45pm tonight. She asked to use my phone. I asked why. She said she ran away from home. I asked why. She did not reply. I closed the door and returned with my phone asking her for her mom’s number. She said , “ I don’t think that’s a good idea”. She stood there nervous. I told her that I could not help her then. I would not give her my phone. At the same time, there was a mini van outside. When I called the police, they said it sounded like a set up for a home invasion. Be alert. Please. Call the police whenever you suspect something.”

And it was posted on Next Door last month, and the month before, and the month before… all across the country. It’s fake

[Anonymous]

OP you need to disable your doorbell and not tell your husband.

To the people who wonder why she’d catch an Uber on a random side street—because it was NYE and the regular streets were probably busier than usual so it would be easier to see your car and be seen by the driver away from the bustle of the main drag. That’s the part of this that makes the most sense.

Get a camera op, and have a long conversation about safety with your husband. But also trust your gut—most people are good people. It’s really a very small percentage that aren’t. Just because your spidey sense went off this time doesn’t mean it should or will every time—assuming everyone is bad is just as naive as your husband assuming everyone is good.

BTW, if the girl was on her period or had diarrhea, peeing in a bush isn’t going to help her situation. I still wouldn’t have let her in but may have asked if she needed anything.

~public bus driver who sees it all first hand

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use a bathroom? That’s what sidewalks are for.

and then your dog comes along and eats her poop or chews on her tampon the next morning when it’s dark and your too busy scrolling on your phone to pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Was she a minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are right and your DH is an idiot.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

The fact that you called your DH both an idiot and a moron based on this incident makes me feel real sorry for him. Your DH sounds very empathetic, like me, which means that unfortunately people can easily take advantage of him. Being naively empathetic is different than being a moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest and am very trusting, and have a young daughter so I’m always watching out for HS/college aged girls. I’m also paranoid and do not answer the doorbell after dark if it’s someone I don’t know. We don’t have a Ring doorbell but can easily see anyone at the front door.

DH grew up in a big city but has ADHD and is just a general idiot when it comes to common sense. He is terrible at thinking on the fly.

Our doorbell rang at 10 pm and DH answered it because I was upstairs. It was a young girl who was between 17-20. We live in a city neighborhood but on a very quiet dead end that’s only a cut-through for neighborhood kids, but I didn’t know her. The girl asked if she could use our bathroom. DH was in the process of letting her inside (down to tell her which direction the bathroom was in) m when I came down and was like, I’m sorry, but I’m not ok with this and you need to leave. I was nice but firm and she was polite in return.

We are blocks away from encampments and large transit stops and in an area with a lot of recent forced entry breakins. We also have a nice stand of bushes and trees at the end of the block that would afford a lot of privacy should someone need an emergency pit stop.

Maybe she was an innocent girl who needed a bathroom? Maybe she was looking for prescription drugs, money or jewelery (all of which were in or en route to the bathroom!)? Maybe she had accomplices who were going to come in while my DH stood like a moron with the door wide open?

Anyway, I did the right thing, right? The only time I remember strangers asking to use a bathroom is when I was in middle school and we were playing softball on a remote field backing into a subdivision with zero trees to hide behind. My teammates rang a doorbell to ask a family to use their bathroom. And this was in the 1980s in Ohio.

Can we talk about OP's DH? Mine is the same regarding opening the door, and he will also turn on all the lights in the house, just before opening the door wide. He would invite anyone and everyone in. Unfortunately, I am not exaggerating. I worry about the safety of my kids. Why do people who do this, do this? Is it ADHD or something else? He just doesn't get it, but I know his 4'9" mom is the same, and they grew up in a not great neighborhood. I feel like they should know better. Is it lack of common sense? It must be more than that, to be so insistent on answering the door.

It's called the absence of paranoia.

What horrible things happened in your lives that have caused you to be so afraid of everyone?

And why are you apparently so convinced in the security of a locked door?

No. It’s called intelligence, which sadly, you lack.

[Anonymous]

I would not have let her in. Once I had a young girl bang on my door for help in the middle of the night because she said a car of men were following her (I did hear a car speed off). I told her to sit on the porch and I called the police and I left the porch light on and watched until they came to make sure she was OK, but she did not get to come into my house. I lived down South at one time and this was a gambit to come in and rob, rape and kill people at one time and I have an outer door I can see through without giving people full access to my house.

[Anonymous]

Even if they weren’t sending her in to rape and pillage the family, it was a setup to see what you own and how easy to access the house. She’s probably being held by people who told her she was going to sell magazine subscriptions or something and really they take their license and don’t pay them engages of “room and board” and then they’re trapped doing stuff like this for whoever is controlling them. She could’ve gone in there just to see if there’s pills in the medicine cabinet to take. Like this EASY to spot.

A woman needing the bathroom would just pee in the bushes. Or go to a well lit populated area. Not take her chance entering some unknown man’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you probably followed your gut instinct in this and it was probably the right call.
But I also think it’s nagging at you because maybe you wished you had asked if she was okay or was in some sort of trouble and needed help.

It’s definitely a strange situation, OP.

I’m not worried about if she was okay or not, actually- that’s the weird part. She did reek of alcohol but didn’t seem drunk and she had a phone and a wallet and was dressed in a regular casual NYE outfit m. Her story was so weird, though. She was telling my DH that she was en route from X neighborhood but getting an Uber in our neighborhood Y because a friend told her to wait on our street to get one (we are not a good place to get a ride) to go to z neighborhood.

Anyway, I told my DH that from now on he has to follow my rules for when I’m the only adult home, which is that I only open the door to people I recognize, I don’t come to the door during the day for strangers, and at night I speak to strangers through the door with my phone in my hand. If it were a legit emergency and she was in danger of something worse than wetting herself, she could have told us through the door, dialed 911, or gone to any of the 7 other houses on the block that are also lit up but are level with the sidewalk or any of the open restaurants 1 block away. We’re 15 steps up from the street which makes it extra weird.

I’m so frustrated with my DH’s poor judgement. He was just standing with the door wide open at the door and had already let a complete stand inside the house on the other side of him next to two sets of car keys, two wallets, etc.

With this context I probably would have let her use the bathroom and then would have sat with her until her Uber or a taxi came. She was drunk and needed help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t live in the DC area, but just saw this was posted last night on Nextdoor:

“A young girl rang my door bell at 9:45pm tonight. She asked to use my phone. I asked why. She said she ran away from home. I asked why. She did not reply. I closed the door and returned with my phone asking her for her mom’s number. She said , “ I don’t think that’s a good idea”. She stood there nervous. I told her that I could not help her then. I would not give her my phone. At the same time, there was a mini van outside. When I called the police, they said it sounded like a set up for a home invasion. Be alert. Please. Call the police whenever you suspect something.”

And it was posted on Next Door last month, and the month before, and the month before… all across the country. It’s fake

Oh, was not aware. But why would people post if fake? What would they gain? I don’t pay much attention to Nextdoor because most of what I see on there is crazy and it’s obvious when people are scamming, but the conversation that followed this particular post seemed legit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t live in the DC area, but just saw this was posted last night on Nextdoor:

“A young girl rang my door bell at 9:45pm tonight. She asked to use my phone. I asked why. She said she ran away from home. I asked why. She did not reply. I closed the door and returned with my phone asking her for her mom’s number. She said , “ I don’t think that’s a good idea”. She stood there nervous. I told her that I could not help her then. I would not give her my phone. At the same time, there was a mini van outside. When I called the police, they said it sounded like a set up for a home invasion. Be alert. Please. Call the police whenever you suspect something.”

And it was posted on Next Door last month, and the month before, and the month before… all across the country. It’s fake

Oh, was not aware. But why would people post if fake? What would they gain? I don’t pay much attention to Nextdoor because most of what I see on there is crazy and it’s obvious when people are scamming, but the conversation that followed this particular post seemed legit.

The same reason people post the story of someone cutting a kids hair in the mall bathroom, or stuff on car door handles, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would not have opened the door. At best, I would have asked her what she wanted through the Nest intercom and politely told her no.