What would you have done? NYE and random young stranger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest and am very trusting, and have a young daughter so I’m always watching out for HS/college aged girls. I’m also paranoid and do not answer the doorbell after dark if it’s someone I don’t know. We don’t have a Ring doorbell but can easily see anyone at the front door.

DH grew up in a big city but has ADHD and is just a general idiot when it comes to common sense. He is terrible at thinking on the fly.

Our doorbell rang at 10 pm and DH answered it because I was upstairs. It was a young girl who was between 17-20. We live in a city neighborhood but on a very quiet dead end that’s only a cut-through for neighborhood kids, but I didn’t know her. The girl asked if she could use our bathroom. DH was in the process of letting her inside (down to tell her which direction the bathroom was in) m when I came down and was like, I’m sorry, but I’m not ok with this and you need to leave. I was nice but firm and she was polite in return.

We are blocks away from encampments and large transit stops and in an area with a lot of recent forced entry breakins. We also have a nice stand of bushes and trees at the end of the block that would afford a lot of privacy should someone need an emergency pit stop.

Maybe she was an innocent girl who needed a bathroom? Maybe she was looking for prescription drugs, money or jewelery (all of which were in or en route to the bathroom!)? Maybe she had accomplices who were going to come in while my DH stood like a moron with the door wide open?

Anyway, I did the right thing, right? The only time I remember strangers asking to use a bathroom is when I was in middle school and we were playing softball on a remote field backing into a subdivision with zero trees to hide behind. My teammates rang a doorbell to ask a family to use their bathroom. And this was in the 1980s in Ohio.

This would have been my first assumption here, and I wouldn’t have let her in. This scenario honestly terrifies me. Our doorbell rang randomly the other night at almost 11 pm and we all just froze, afraid to go near the front door. It’s really unfortunate that if someone was really in distress, my first instinct would probably be to mistrust them.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t even open the door to anyone at that hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. Your husband is dense lol![/quote

Agree]

[Anonymous]

I don’t open my door for anyone let alone at 10pm. They need to text me and tell me they are here before I will open the door.

[Anonymous]

IDK. Definitely weird she knocked on your door, last house on a dead end street, set off the street, shrubs everywhere, deep into NYE.

Definitely, the situation was off. What was the reason behind her knocking on your door? Simple need to use the toilet - why couldn't she walk another block to the commercial strip? What could be other reasons why she knocked on your door? Maybe she was walking to her intended destination but realized she was being followed, got scared, and turned into your block, then realized it was a dead end street with the stalker waiting for her somewhere in the dark. Maybe she was escaping from a date gone bad. Maybe she was drunker than you realized with her normal caution lowered. Maybe she was indeed looking to take advantage of y'all in some way.

You'll probably never know. Hopefully she figured things out and was able to find a resolution to whatever caused her to knock on your door.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

[Anonymous]

She would have opened the back door and let in a bunch of murderous teens wearing animal masks.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely think you did the right thing. Her story doesn’t add up and you should trust your gut.

Since your area has a lot of recent breakins, I’d consider reaching out to the police (non-emergency) and see if this fits a pattern. I might also suggest talking to the neighbors about it. You might even want to reconsider a Ring or other camera system.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in rural Indiana where we didn't lock our front doors and left the car keys in the ignition. You did NOT overreact. Trust your gut.

Like a PP, I would have peed next to dumpster without tissue before doing what that girl did. I'd be even more likely after having a few like she had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to stop talking about your H this way.

My husband is LEO he would have figured out why this person was in this situation and gotten her help,

My thought is human trafficking or lost drunk girl.

We would have gotten her an Uber to her destination.

NP and we had a similar situation in our neighborhood with a woman knocking on doors at night asking for help. Our LEO neighbor wouldn’t even open the door for this woman at 7 pm. My DH offered to get her an Uber through the closed door and she declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to stop talking about your H this way.

My husband is LEO he would have figured out why this person was in this situation and gotten her help,

My thought is human trafficking or lost drunk girl.

We would have gotten her an Uber to her destination.

NP and we had a similar situation in our neighborhood with a woman knocking on doors at night asking for help. Our LEO neighbor wouldn’t even open the door for this woman at 7 pm. My DH offered to get her an Uber through the closed door and she declined.

Believe me, most LEOs are lazy ignorant a-holes.

It’s actually illegal for him to see a person in need and deny them help,

I can’t tell you how many outings I’ve been to where my H had to render aid.

I won’t even go out with him when it’s snowing, too many people in situations that need aid.

Yes your right many cops will drive right past an accident or a boyfriend beating his girlfriend in public,

I apologize for all of them on behalf of the “thin blue line”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest and am very trusting, and have a young daughter so I’m always watching out for HS/college aged girls. I’m also paranoid and do not answer the doorbell after dark if it’s someone I don’t know. We don’t have a Ring doorbell but can easily see anyone at the front door.

DH grew up in a big city but has ADHD and is just a general idiot when it comes to common sense. He is terrible at thinking on the fly.

Our doorbell rang at 10 pm and DH answered it because I was upstairs. It was a young girl who was between 17-20. We live in a city neighborhood but on a very quiet dead end that’s only a cut-through for neighborhood kids, but I didn’t know her. The girl asked if she could use our bathroom. DH was in the process of letting her inside (down to tell her which direction the bathroom was in) m when I came down and was like, I’m sorry, but I’m not ok with this and you need to leave. I was nice but firm and she was polite in return.

We are blocks away from encampments and large transit stops and in an area with a lot of recent forced entry breakins. We also have a nice stand of bushes and trees at the end of the block that would afford a lot of privacy should someone need an emergency pit stop.

Maybe she was an innocent girl who needed a bathroom? Maybe she was looking for prescription drugs, money or jewelery (all of which were in or en route to the bathroom!)? Maybe she had accomplices who were going to come in while my DH stood like a moron with the door wide open?

Anyway, I did the right thing, right? The only time I remember strangers asking to use a bathroom is when I was in middle school and we were playing softball on a remote field backing into a subdivision with zero trees to hide behind. My teammates rang a doorbell to ask a family to use their bathroom. And this was in the 1980s in Ohio.

Can we talk about OP's DH? Mine is the same regarding opening the door, and he will also turn on all the lights in the house, just before opening the door wide. He would invite anyone and everyone in. Unfortunately, I am not exaggerating. I worry about the safety of my kids. Why do people who do this, do this? Is it ADHD or something else? He just doesn't get it, but I know his 4'9" mom is the same, and they grew up in a not great neighborhood. I feel like they should know better. Is it lack of common sense? It must be more than that, to be so insistent on answering the door.

It's called the absence of paranoia.

What horrible things happened in your lives that have caused you to be so afraid of everyone?

And why are you apparently so convinced in the security of a locked door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest and am very trusting, and have a young daughter so I’m always watching out for HS/college aged girls. I’m also paranoid and do not answer the doorbell after dark if it’s someone I don’t know. We don’t have a Ring doorbell but can easily see anyone at the front door.

DH grew up in a big city but has ADHD and is just a general idiot when it comes to common sense. He is terrible at thinking on the fly.

Our doorbell rang at 10 pm and DH answered it because I was upstairs. It was a young girl who was between 17-20. We live in a city neighborhood but on a very quiet dead end that’s only a cut-through for neighborhood kids, but I didn’t know her. The girl asked if she could use our bathroom. DH was in the process of letting her inside (down to tell her which direction the bathroom was in) m when I came down and was like, I’m sorry, but I’m not ok with this and you need to leave. I was nice but firm and she was polite in return.

We are blocks away from encampments and large transit stops and in an area with a lot of recent forced entry breakins. We also have a nice stand of bushes and trees at the end of the block that would afford a lot of privacy should someone need an emergency pit stop.

Maybe she was an innocent girl who needed a bathroom? Maybe she was looking for prescription drugs, money or jewelery (all of which were in or en route to the bathroom!)? Maybe she had accomplices who were going to come in while my DH stood like a moron with the door wide open?

Anyway, I did the right thing, right? The only time I remember strangers asking to use a bathroom is when I was in middle school and we were playing softball on a remote field backing into a subdivision with zero trees to hide behind. My teammates rang a doorbell to ask a family to use their bathroom. And this was in the 1980s in Ohio.

This would have been my first assumption here, and I wouldn’t have let her in. This scenario honestly terrifies me. Our doorbell rang randomly the other night at almost 11 pm and we all just froze, afraid to go near the front door. It’s really unfortunate that if someone was really in distress, my first instinct would probably be to mistrust them.

PTSD from something in your past?

[Anonymous]

I come from a capital city with double security entrance points in buildings. There is no way we'd let strangers into our buildings in that city. There are video monitors in every apartment, you can see who you're buzzing in.

But here, in my DC suburb? Yes, I would let a teen in that situation use the bathroom. She was drunk, so she probably needed to pee. I would have let her in, if my husband or teen son had been there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is right, but I’m thinking a 17 year old could easily be overpowered by OP and DH. As long as they shut the door after her:.. she’d be in more danger than they would be, right?

Not if she had a weapon - or friends about to rush the door or she would let in. More likely she would be looking for ways to break in later.

She could have been a random girl waiting for an Uber. But really weird to do so on a random street.