What would you have done? NYE and random young stranger

[Anonymous]

Please don’t blame ADHD. I have that and also have street smarts. I’d never have opened the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

Is this a thing? Have there been cases of this? What happens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

Is this a thing? Have there been cases of this? What happens?

https://www.thv11.com/article/news/local/north-little-rock/scam-warning-woman-and-child-ask-to-use-the-bathroom-to-gain-entry-into-your-house/91-fb8874f6-63f2-4355-b70f-a79d5f8635bc

https://www.deseret.com/2014/1/28/20533906/woman-asking-to-use-bathrooms-arrested-on-burglary-allegations

https://abc13.com/scam-thieves-home-robbery/2869464/

[Anonymous]

I agree that if this was a complete stranger your DH was an idiot for even opening the door. Just because the person is a young female doesn't mean they can't have a gun or be part of a bigger gang, waiting for a point of entry. Her explanation for being in the area don't make sense.

Other than a blatantly nefarious and obvious reason, I'd be questioning if your DH may have any kind of casual connection to this young woman - ???

Why would she have picked your house in particular? That doesn't make sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t blame ADHD. I have that and also have street smarts. I’d never have opened the door.

DP here. This is what I am wondering. Dh and MIL very much have a "nobody tells me what to do" attitude, which would be fine, if they had one iota of common sense or street smarts, which they haven't. Why endanger your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t blame ADHD. I have that and also have street smarts. I’d never have opened the door.

OP here and I do actually blame ADHD because DH has done many similar things that show a lack of an ability to pause and think vs. just following the first random impulse he has. He explained to me this morning that his thought pattern was “doorbell rang, have to get it.” It’s scary that our safety is in the hands of someone who can’t slow down and apply some critical thinking to a situation. It’s happened in many situations and even ones specific to the front door, and always on days when he doesn’t take medication or it’s very late and it’s worn off.

Years ago he opened the door for a stranger who mixed up addresses. He didn’t crate our unrestrained dog as we always did at the time because “the doorbell was ringing” and “there was no time” and the dog rushed the person at door. The person later threatened to sue us but dropped it because he hadn’t been bit or anything. That’s just one example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that if this was a complete stranger your DH was an idiot for even opening the door. Just because the person is a young female doesn't mean they can't have a gun or be part of a bigger gang, waiting for a point of entry. Her explanation for being in the area don't make sense.

Other than a blatantly nefarious and obvious reason, I'd be questioning if your DH may have any kind of casual connection to this young woman - ???

Why would she have picked your house in particular? That doesn't make sense to me.

Not OP but -- effing hell, DCUM has surpassed itself once again with the knee-jerk ingrained suspicion "Must be...an affair!" nonsense. "Why would she have picked your house in particular?" PP, did you actually read the OP's initial post in any detail? Do you just have zero awareness that it's houses like OP's which people choose if they are, as others with more brains than you have already noted, casing the joint at a house that's isolated? Must be exhausting to live with so much suspicion, and to relish posting crap intended to make other people as suspicious as you are. Maybe you're projecting....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t blame ADHD. I have that and also have street smarts. I’d never have opened the door.

OP here and I do actually blame ADHD because DH has done many similar things that show a lack of an ability to pause and think vs. just following the first random impulse he has. He explained to me this morning that his thought pattern was “doorbell rang, have to get it.” It’s scary that our safety is in the hands of someone who can’t slow down and apply some critical thinking to a situation. It’s happened in many situations and even ones specific to the front door, and always on days when he doesn’t take medication or it’s very late and it’s worn off.

Years ago he opened the door for a stranger who mixed up addresses. He didn’t crate our unrestrained dog as we always did at the time because “the doorbell was ringing” and “there was no time” and the dog rushed the person at door. The person later threatened to sue us but dropped it because he hadn’t been bit or anything. That’s just one example.

DP here. I am curious what this might be - DH is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

Is this a thing? Have there been cases of this? What happens?

https://www.thv11.com/article/news/local/north-little-rock/scam-warning-woman-and-child-ask-to-use-the-bathroom-to-gain-entry-into-your-house/91-fb8874f6-63f2-4355-b70f-a79d5f8635bc

https://www.deseret.com/2014/1/28/20533906/woman-asking-to-use-bathrooms-arrested-on-burglary-allegations

https://abc13.com/scam-thieves-home-robbery/2869464/

DP here. Grew up in an affluent suburb, and this was definitely a thing. People knocking on the front door, distracting the homeowner, whilst others gained entrance to the back. Or people entering the house whilst the homeowner was working in the back yard (open garage or unlocked door). All sorts of configurations to access or assess. It has been going on forever. Criminals depend on the homeowner being stupid and/or naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you did the right thing. Highly suspect for someone to need to use your bathroom.

She could have been casing your home to come back with others for a burglary or God forbid, a home invasion.

Don't let others in your home, OP.

Also, get a Ring camera, the government has a rebate program. It also allows you to speak to someone without opening the door.

I'd say your guardian angel may have guided you downstairs to intervene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely think you did the right thing. Her story doesn’t add up and you should trust your gut.

Since your area has a lot of recent breakins, I’d consider reaching out to the police (non-emergency) and see if this fits a pattern. I might also suggest talking to the neighbors about it. You might even want to reconsider a Ring or other camera system.

This, above, OP. Listen to this PP. Please contact your police non-emergency number today (don't wait, because you want to remember details) and tell them about this. Now I'll get replies snarking that "the cops don't care" blah blah but in my DC suburb, yeah, the cops would want to know about this if there were a rash of break-ins going around the neighborhood--which is exactly what you note has been happening. I know this from experience of a similar rash of burglaries our suburb had maybe a decade ago. Good police departments want all the information. Don't listen to naysayers telling you you were wrong, or saying not to inform the cops.

Also, the PP's post above is one of the very few, maybe the only one so far, that actually shows the PP read your entire post.

Folks, OP wrote this and these details matter:

"We live in a city neighborhood but on a very quiet dead end....We are blocks away from encampments and large transit stops and in an area with a lot of recent forced entry breakins."

Why on Earth wouldn't OP be cautious and deny entry to a stranger, late at night, to her home that's set away from other homes and busier areas, at a time when there are "a lot of recent forced entry break-ins"? Of course OP was right.

I have a young adult DD and am very alert to young women who may be in trouble, drunk, with a guy who seems sketchy or whatever, but -- I would have done the same if I were in OP's shoes. In hindsight, just in case the girl was in trouble, OP could have told her to wait at the curb while OP phoned an Uber for her or whatever and watched her from the window until it came--but hindsight is always perfect 20/20 vision. OP was right to be so cautious. And her DH needs a talk about taking the break-ins seriously and behaving with more situational awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that people think you overreacted. I’m concerned about this girl, because she’s so young, but she was likely up to no good, and/or was connected to people who were up to no good. There is zero chance I would allow her in my house.

This.

Get a Ring, OP, creates a video record. And really impress on DH not to open the door. Puts your entire family at risk.

[Anonymous]

Wow that's cold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

Exactly. It's so dangerous that no young woman alone would choose to go in the home of strangers for a trivial reason, it was a pretext.

OP, I'd post it on your local Next Door, others may have a similar experience.

Get a Ring camera for your front and back doors, local governments have rebate programs. That way you would have an image captured on video.

If anyone comes to my door that I don't know, I offer to call the police for them, with the door closed and locked. If they need help, they should welcome that.

I think she rambled on with nonsense hoping you would let her in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. This scenario is a noted scam, except it usually involves a young woman claiming to need to charge her phone. Think about it: why would a young woman be down a cul-de-sac, by herself, with no where to go? Have you ever randomly stoped at a person’s house, just to go to the bathroom?

Is this a thing? Have there been cases of this? What happens?

https://www.thv11.com/article/news/local/north-little-rock/scam-warning-woman-and-child-ask-to-use-the-bathroom-to-gain-entry-into-your-house/91-fb8874f6-63f2-4355-b70f-a79d5f8635bc

https://www.deseret.com/2014/1/28/20533906/woman-asking-to-use-bathrooms-arrested-on-burglary-allegations

https://abc13.com/scam-thieves-home-robbery/2869464/

DP here. Grew up in an affluent suburb, and this was definitely a thing. People knocking on the front door, distracting the homeowner, whilst others gained entrance to the back. Or people entering the house whilst the homeowner was working in the back yard (open garage or unlocked door). All sorts of configurations to access or assess. It has been going on forever. Criminals depend on the homeowner being stupid and/or naive.

+1

Affluent suburbs, or semi-rural streets where the houses are far apart and neighbors don't hear each other etc. -- this does happen in a lot of different settings. I'm surprised that some on this thread seem not to have heard of this, or don't believe it. People need to pay more attention when crimes are reported in their areas, so they understand how these kinds of criminals operate. It is not "paranoia" to be informed and take basic precautions like not leaving the garage door open, or locking the front door if you're outside working in the back yard, for instance. It's just common sense, rooted in staying informed.